to find someone in this medium as opposed to everyday life? We can put aside those that live in rural areas or small towns where there is little "new blood" being introduced into the population.

May it be in real life, or on social media. It is easier to be be found, than finding somebody. And in situations, you never expected to happen.

Somebody has to take action! But how can you find someone in real life if you do not have the social skills to converse and interact? I might be really off base, but I believe this medium is helping to erode one on one social skills.

I know you and I don't agree on anything, but..in refernce to your comment...if someone lacks the social skills to converse and interact online where they have time to consider what they are saying before they type it out in a relaxed enviroment (their own house)...then I doubt they'd be any better in person when they have to think "on the fly"...

I tend to agree with you, Cranky.

I can't speak for anyone else, only myself.

And as I've mentioned elsewhere, after a number of years trying in my area (and remember, I've lived here all my life), I just can't find women I'm both attracted to AND who have similar interests. I can find one or the other, but not both. I really feel like I'm living in the wrong part of the country.

Unfortunately, I need some time to build up the money to afford being able to move out of this state. Even then, I'm not sure where I'll go. If I run across someone on Mingle that's compatible, that would actually make the decision easier when the time comes.

I get that. I'm sure you're correct. That is the end result so to speak.
This is safer and easier. However, does the safety and ease go quite a ways towards the erosion of one on one social skills?

People find each other where they are. However, in the 'real world' people are often busy with an intended action or goal and not stopping to meet others or take others in, unless its at a social event of some sort.

It could be that the dedicated intention of places like this, where the purpose of one's presence is to "meet" and be "met" by others, makes the odds a bit better, at least initially, for making connections.

Whether people meet here or in the real world, it still will come down to what happens NEXT and what happens to maintain that connection once it is met.

Being "busy" with whatever you're doing in the real world does not preclude being aware and responsive to the people and opportunities that cross your path.

I'm more inclined to disagree with Bluegrass. At least where I'm concerned, and my own personal experience.

After years of not going out to social events, I definitely lacked social skills when it came to meeting men and dating. I thought joining a dating site would help that and what I found was that it worked the opposite direction... it continued to erode my social skills, especially in a one on one situations face to face.

I ended up using the internet because it was easier to do after working all day. Then it was easier to do because I tired on my day off. Then it was easier to do because deep down I was scared to death to get out into the "real" world and actually look someone in the eyes.

Also with the chopped up way we sometimes speak online, using slang, and incomplete sentences.... when I was face to face with someone, it was like I "forgot" how to speak... I was using internet language.

I am working on changing that. The internet serves a purpose for a lot of people, including me.. but I'm not home bound so if I truly desire strengthening my social skills (which I do) then I need to spend less time online and get out there where I am face to face with people.

Words of wisdom. I don't know you, but I like you already.

Let's say the "right" person (or at least someone semi compatible you might be interested in) runs across you/ crosses your path on a day when you are dressed like a slob and haven't showered or brushed your teeth, running errands...or are having a generally bad day...or got news a close friend or relative has died and therefore have other things on their mind...or in hurry and not really paying attention to those people around you...
There are ANY number of reasons why this wouldn;t work.

Plus, add in the fact a lot of people have social anxiety, Aspergers, or something else that makes them not good in person on a spontaneous meeting.

Alow people to do what they are comfotable with..
As far as "erroding social skills"...that's a hole other can 'o worms..
You have online shopping where people can order stuff sent to their hime instead of going out amongst people..
You have grocery stores where you can order online and go through a drive through to pick it up and see *no one* but the person loading it.

Than add in the people who can't manange to wrote more then a few words, or use whle words, punctuatipon...have an actual conversation..because they've descending into communicating solely by texts...

ALL those are erooding social skills.

I_love_bluegrass: People make excuses every day about a million different things. Bottom line is that if opportunity presents itself it should be seized. Most people are too clueless to even see opportunity let alone seize it.

Also, there is an element of it is just a real pain to shower, dress nice, and drive somewhere random on the *outside chance* someone interesting and compatible may be there...
Especially when you live in a rural area, which i have for the past 24 years.

It's not an excuse.

If a woman who saw you, and based on *nothing else* but the way you look (because she HAS nothing else to go on at this point) comes up to you and tried to talk to you...but she looks like ****...

Or you se a woman, and based on *nothing else* but the way she looks you go up to her and try to start a conversation, but due to any of the things I mentioned she's just not in a friendly mood...
You are telling me you wouldn't be put off by either of those?

I said to put aside the rural areas... Obviously, that is understandable. The rest is crap. Excuses and laziness just make things clearer to me.

So... You are looking for a great guy on the internet that will be all this and all that, and you're not even willing to shower when you go out to make yourself presentable?

Ummm, good luck with that.

How did you possibly misunderstand what I wrote.

I was referring to:
A. Out running errands and didn't feel the ned to shower or dress nice, because....errands.
*I* wouldn't approach someone even if I thought they looked interesting in that situation.
I'm there to pay bills, grocery shop, or drop something off..then go home.

B. IF I am meeting someone..OBVIOUSLY I shower, brush my teeth, and dress nice.
I meant not driving to somne random place merely on an outside chance that there *mnight* be someone there..
I'd rather save my time and effort for events I know there may be like-minded people (or at least those supposedly interested in the same things..fetivals), or an actual meetting.
Not just to drive to a park, for example, and sit there for a few hours hoping someone interesting and compatible *happens* by...

deleted errant duplicate posting

The whole interwebz thing-a-muh-jig,
is just like Amazon.

Whaddaya mean, we can't get a 'made to order partner'
by demanding, from any random site?

Thanks! When I was working on Mackinac Island I decided to start venturing out and utilize all these social skills I learned while being online for the past year

That's when I discovered I now needed... speech therapy, relearn listening skills, and maybe a little make-up and new clothes would be nice. At least brush my hair, lol... no it wasn't that bad but close.

My next assignment for work will be at the YMCA of the Rockies where I was last year. Only this time I'll be at Estes Park instead of Granby. Estes Park Center housing will most likely require me to have a roommate. I did that on purpose... figured it would help force me out of the room more so I would go interact with others when I wasn't working.

Last winter I had that in mind, but ended up camping out in my room a lot!