Yep. As I said earlier, this is what marriage was originally conceived as.

Couple of points: the ceremony is actually NOT primarily or just about showing off wealth, or about state control. Those things were added on later. The primary purpose of the ceremony was originally twofold: first, to make the decision to join lives feel real to the people doing it, and the second was to engage the rest of the community in supporting their decision.

Ever experienced a situation where in you head, you think that you'd like to try something, or do something, but then in the actual event, you realize that it only seemed "fun" when you were imagining it?

Marriage is like that. The ceremony, saying your commitment words out loud, helps a lot of people to finally feel that what they are doing is real. Same reason for all vows that we take.

I posted this in the Over 50's area tonight:

I've been divorced for 10 years. I'm, also, 67 years old. During this 10 years I've met for coffee with a number a women and dated 3. Women accuse men of only wanting sex. One the other hand women seem to meet because the immediate goal is marriage.

I'm not saying marriage is bad but when that is the chief priority men will disappear on you ladies. Just like women disappear when they find out men only want sex. I'm at the point where I have refrained from asking anyone out because the conversation within a few dates turns to marriage.

Men should stop pushing early sex and women should stop pushing marriage early.

-----------------

Some women greatly desire the Wedding but then are later frustrated with the marriage.

talk about marriage eh????
let's not...and say we did!!!
;^)

I would rather give a Rhino a enema as opposed to going thru that again.

I think people just need to take a breath and get to know each other BEFORE deciding what type of relationship they want to evolve into...

too many put the cart before the horse, like you say, either wanting to immediately rush into preparing for marriage or being bedded down, they try to manipulate the feelings to reach a goal instead of being open to where the feelings take them organically.

and it happens both sides, I have also seen the men on here saying they are looking to be married or find a wife. Not everyone wants the same things, and many women probably are seeking that person, but I personally find it as off putting as if a person said they were looking for 'financial stability' ... these things may come from a relationship, but when those goals are more important than who the person is that you will reach the goal with,,,, it will be a problem eventually.


imho.

I Know a Man Personally who has good qualities for a husband.

He retired from a great Job very good income just bought a New home.

He has nice. Vehicle and has lots of Cash. He has Never been Married.

He probably will never marry. I talked to him on phone for 2-3hours
At times. He lives Next city about 40 Miles away. We dated three different
Times years Apart. I think he is a bit conceited. He Never dated off any date site. He doesn't like Online DATING. He said it's not for Him.

Sometimes a woman has to except some Men don't want to Marry.

Nobody I met in person online can hold a candle to this man.

You never know! I knew a guy from work who had never married by 50 yo.
He has heavenly handsome. We would talk about single stuff over lunch.
He said he had dated bunches of model types, but didn't like them.

A couple of years later he got married!!! Nice, cute normal woman.

It would be nice to be married but I can't find what I'm looking for.

You never know! I knew a guy from work who had never married by 50 yo.
He has heavenly handsome. We would talk about single stuff over lunch.
He said he had dated bunches of model types, but didn't like them.

A couple of years later he got married!!! Nice, cute normal woman.





He may but I doubt it. I am sure my friend has had several women he dated down through the Years.

He said his Men friends have been married twice and some 3x. He gets tired of them talking about their Ex's. And they never have any Cash now because the wives took it .

He Never goes on the Internet for a Date. But He worked with COMPUTERS for over 30 years.

I really don't understand this..

My ex filed (serial cheater, wanted to marry the last one)...this was in the 80's..
I certainly didn't take all his money.

I have a male friend..*his* wife filed....SHE didn't "take all his money"...

So I wonder how exactly all these women supposedly got all the man's money?
And I wonder if most of those guys are making that up....

I’m pretty sure they are making it up. It just doesn’t work like that anymore.
Everything is a 50/50 split. They may perceive that because maybe they made more money or maybe she raised the kids but it’s all in their heads.

I don't know his FRIENDS. But they worked where he did and that Company paid great wages and benefits.

Every divorce is not the same as the other ones.

Those Old friends also date YOUNG women he said and that's another reason they don't have much Cash.

YOUNGE women like Old men to. Spend Money.

I suspect that a lot of the complaints and accusations, come from the people who thought they should pay nothing at all. And then made things worse, but "saving money" on lawyers.

Anyone who complains that they lost MORE THAN ONE HOUSE to ex's, doesn't get any sympathy from me.

My ex and I each kept what we brought in (furniture)...I took the new fridge *I* had bought.
I got my part of the value of the house, which he had to "rebuy" or some such thing, and he still lives there..(I didn't want to stay in that area anyway)

He kept his car..I took mine..

The male friend I mentioned?
She moved back across the country to be closer to her family..she also only took the stuff that was hers and her part of the house..

It just amazes me when I hear this stuff...
Also, if you have a LOT of stuff/ assets...and you are fooling around with the idea of marrrying someone young enough to be your daughter/ grand daughter..you'd be crazy not to get an iron-clad prenup.

If *I* had a lot of assets..and married someone who had nothing..I'd cetainly make them sign a prenup..
If they complain *too* much about that..it's a sign that they *were* after your money/assets..

My brother got divorced. His second wife died. He's looking for a third wife. My father said a while back, in marriage, three strikes and you're out. I thought that was rude to say.

A good Marriage is better than Chocolate !

Also better than just sex in One night stand and casual sexual dating.

Yuck

I think times have changed, there was a time when most people dated with a view to marriage if things worked out between them, but in my opinion that is not the case any more, and for a variety of reasons. (Friends with benefits, Booty Calls, Etc.). So, I think a woman is right to ask a man his thoughts on marriage early on, if they are at odds with each other there is little point in her pursuing a relationship, I don't see asking his thoughts as pushing marriage. I can understand why a woman whom wants to marry at sometime would not want to waste her time getting to know a guy that doesn't see marriage in his future. This is only my opinion.

Men should then want to ask about sex? How soon should I expect you to have sex with me? Face it, most of either gender is unwilling to be honest as being honest ends most relationships before they ever start.

I think most people starting a new relationship would be honest if they are genuinely looking for a partner, and not to begin with a lie regarding their position on marriage. Some people want marriage in their future and some don't. Whether people choose to be honest or not depends on them, but lies are usually soon discovered.

[



I think most people starting a new relationship would be honest if they are genuinely looking for a partner, and not to begin with a lie regarding their position on marriage. Some people want marriage in their future and some don't. Whether people choose to be honest or not depends on them, but lies are usually soon discovered.