Why do people always think I am arguing or disagreeing with them?
All I'm saying is that if you strip away all the expectations, life is just life. The act of being alive. Baseline: Existing.

Some people think that somebody in a coma or are locked in a vegatative state are not alive but they are, they exist currently in reality.

They may not have perception of their environment but they are alive.
There isn't a word that accurately describes how we go about existing so we use "life" to describe it.

When I lost everything I thought my life was over but it wasn't over and it took a brush with real death to wake me up to how my impression of life was a delusion of my expectations.
I still have a "Life" but it is very different than the "Life" I had.

People get depressed and stressed out because "Life" doesn't work out the way they expected, sometimes no matter how hard they try. When you realize that our expectations of "Life" is something other than life it allows you to embrace "Your Life" while you are living.

deal but that means you get the cleaning duties starting in the kitchen after i'm done cooking...

klc, don't let him in the kitchen

spoil sport

Well, I *hardly* think those people in Auschwitz "embraced" the life they had..
I'm sure most hated it, and...while there may have been a few that were of the type that could happily exist anywhere (I've knowen some homeless people who live in a box under a bridge that were haopoy..but that's not the general populace)...most were very sad, and angry at their situation...that's just normal.
Maybe one can't change it....but, one doesn't have to *like it*, or pretend like they are happy/ content..

To each their own....

"Embrace" as in continuing to live.
Even holocaust victims embraced life when they didn't attack the jailors and commit suicide. Some did and they ended their existence. Others waited till someone else ended their existence.

But, that's not what I'm talking about and you damn well know it.
I've been there and I know most of the time things can get a lot worse but when you are counting heartbeats, nothing else matters and if it does there's something wrong in yer head.

Life is JUST life and everything else is how you live it.

Nothing personal to you, Tom4Uhere..

Just tired of people saying one should be "happy" even if their life is ****....
Some people are better equipped to handle adveristy...and, if they can, good on 'em..

Some metaphorically turn their face to the wall and give up, and die...

Some just mark time, count the hours until they die...
(there are a lot like that in hursing homes)

If you (the metaphoric "you") can "bloom where you are planted", always see a glass as half full...etc...I am glad for you..

Some of us just aren't wired that way...due to no fault of our own.

actually that WAS your kitchen or didn't you notice the dinner all ready on the table when you got home?

just as soon as i round up dinner then neither of us will need to clean

"and I am looking for a good long run." Maybe this is why!!

Okay, no worries.
Yes, that general assessment is pretty accurate.
I spent most of my life pessimistic and negative.
I even went thru a period where I hated the world.
I thought there was nothing I could do to change it but I did change it.
I actually believed I was 'cursed' most of my life.
After my NDE, that all changed.
I wanted to end the suffering anyway I could, my depression was controlling me and it was winning.

The most significant change in how I see "Life" and existence came when I started removing my 'expectations' of life that were delusional.
I realized that life doesn't 'owe' me anything and I don't 'owe' life anything. Life is merely a condition of existing.

I still have "a life" but I know it can be gone for any reason any time.
I have now learned to recognize people that think the same way.
I also see people that think like I used to and I understand what they are going thru. Cause I Been There/Done That.

Thief. Liar. Unfaithful unless approved by partner. Compulsive anything..... boring type of person. Lazy. Smart for nothing. Not good with kids. Yes man.

Okay....question time.

What are your views on "playing the field"?

For instance, you meet someone and get to know each other. Things are going well, but neither of you have committed to a relationship.

Do you feel it's okay to keep playing the field in that situation?

Or is it more likely to harm any potential for a relationship?

My mom said she didn't see a problem with it. When she was younger, she said she would date several guys at once.

I disagreed with her view.

I feel it's disrespectful to the other person, like you're leading s/he on with false signals. It generates confusion and misunderstanding, leaving a person not knowing where s/he stands. It's like using people as pawns, playing one against the other to see who's willing to do anything to come out on top. I've never felt it was right to toy with people like that.

Granted, maybe the person playing the field is exploring to find out what exactly s/he wants. But that doesn't mean they have to date multiple people concurrently, does it? The same can be done by dating people one at a time, right? At least, the latter is how I've always done it, unlike my mom.

So, I'm interested in reading what all of your opinions are. Is someone who "plays the field" a dealbreaker for you?

A big deal breaker for me is any person who does not respect my Celiac life style. Home alone I don't think about it I enjoy all kinds of delicious meals....out with others...one bite won't hurt you...you can order gluten free . I am happy to join someone when they want to grab a bite to eat, I am very happy when we just have a fun chat while they eat and I enjoy my coffee or adult beverage

Yes! Only because it would have been established from the beginning that we are exclusive even if we are "just dating". I don't date more than one man at a time and wouldn't agree to be in a relationship with someone who didn't feel the same way.

To each his/her own, I have seen others do it successfully and be perfectly content, it just doesn't work for me.

I believe if two people decide that they are okay with dating more than one while in the "getting to know you" stage, then the deal breaker would be for one of them to decide or realize they actually are not okay with it.

I agree with you, klc..

I never saw the point/ draw in dating multiple people.
If I find someone I like, and we have a s**t-ton in common...why would I want to spend time with someone else?

To me (with my Spock brain), that isn't logical/ makes no sense.

Plus..I never needed to "explore" to find out what i want...I've always known..
Of course, don't go by me..I was the weird kid in school..

But, if someone wants to "play the field"...they certainly are free to do so...
It's just not for me.

And, if a guy wants to date other people, keep his "options open", then he can step on down the road....my time is too valuable for someone like that.

I had a guy I had been chatting with back in April (on *another* site, not this one) who abruptly stopped replying..
We'd had a tentative plan to meet in May.

So, several months go by, I pretty much forgot about him.
He pops up in my inbox a while back..all "How you been? Anythng new?"
I ask him why he decided to wriote me *now*, after months of nothing..
He said no one in his life right now, just looking at the stars when it isn;t raining (where we are it has rained *every week* since March)

I sent him a link to GIF..of a ship, sailing away..
He asked me what that meant...I said yoiu'll figure it out.

He ditched me because someone better, more interesting came along, and that didn't work out, and so he decided to try and reconnect with me???
H*** no.
You had your chance...I'm not going to be second or third on someone's list...

The difference between what many view as a long term relationship and marriage is just some words and legality; the expected lifestyle and relationship is the same.

Herein lies the difference between casual/social dating and searching for "the one". Eventually you start to realize that "the one" doesn't exist except in your mind and your social life is dead. You then get the choice of spending your time at home alone or having a social life that includes dating. You may call it a platonic friendship but if you are in a social setting with a member of the other gender, most observers would call it a date.