Have you known those people that say they 'feel' something, but it only seems they are interested in the IDEA of that feeling or appearance of that feeling?

I feel this happens in love and patriotism and religion. People say they are in love, or that they are patriotic or religious, but it seems that they are only in love with APPEARING to be the person who is in love or patriotic or religious.

So we have people, I think, that say they are in love with another person, who are only so in love with the IDEA of love, that they have convinced themself it is about the other person. an intense feeling of deep affection for the PERSON does not exist.

And we have people, I think, that say they are patriotic, but they seem only interested in the appearance or traditions of patriotism instead of truly having or expressing devotion to and vigorous support for one's country, (which doesnt exist without the citizens inside its borders as well, which some of the same patriots could care less about or who take a backseat to the customs of patriotism)



and we have people, I think, that say they are religious, Christian, for example who seem more interested in the appearance of being Christian instead of being a Christian who follows the example of Christ with neighborly love, forgiveness, and righteous judgment.

in over simplified terms, these things may be considered hypocrisy, except I think of hypocrisy as the negative slant which implies intent and knowledge. The opposite of hypocrisy is consistency, your feelings being consistent with your actions.

Are you trying to be consistent in your life, in your words and/or actions? Does it not matter to you? or does it matter, but not too much?

Ok, the christian reference are quickly over and done with.
Of course depending at which level the fundamentalism is pursued.

And yes, people do probably fall in love for the sake of love.
That depends of the person.
Is the person able to function alone. Are they used to be alone, if not, I would say that they just need a partner to be around.
In other words, they just want the teddy bear they had when they were babies, so to speak.
They simply can't live alone, be alone.

The patriotism I have no idea about, as I never felt that i belonged to either country or race. I'm a world citizen and will always be so.
I'm not white, coloured, it's not an issue for me. I can't see the importance for thinking like that. It's a waste of time as I know that we are all floating around on this small, small planet in the middle of a vaaast universe. In other words, we are all on the same tiny boat and
when it tips, we all are going to fall off. It actually pretty simple
and logical.
All one have to do is look at world history, and the answer is there.
Simple mathematics, that, obviously most people doesn't understand because they never took the time to read or involve themselves in our world history.

I think this wholly depends on how you consider the people around you...that matter to your sense of importance.
People Lie...People lie...a lot.
Not only do they lie to you, they lie to themselves.

The problem happens when you suspect someone is lying but can't be sure they are.
How do you handle this?
I find the best method is to believe what they claim and pay attention to what they do. They tell on themselves.

In the aspect of patriotism or religion its not as important as in love or matters of the heart.
Matters of the heart still hurt pretty bad when lies are exposed.

The only thing you can do is chalk it up to a learning experience concerning that particular person. If you try to group all people that way, you are not only doing an injustice to the individual you are cheating yourself.

In matters of the heart, take people at face values until you learn otherwise, then you know the type of person you are dealing with.

I think what you are describing is quite correct, but also a lot more subtle and complicated than you've said here.

Take the appearance of being righteous or religious, for example. There certainly are plenty of people who don't actually understand what they are saying when they quote religious sayings, or perform rituals they've learned, but exactly WHO they are trying to put on the appearance of faith for, can vary a lot.

Some want to reassure themselves. They learn the rites and memorize the texts, in order to feel as though they are spending their lives on the right things, whether they understand anything they are doing or not.

Some others are trying to please an authority which they have previously latched on to, as being "the opinion which matters." That authority can be anything from a version of a God, to a sense of the society around them, and anything in between. But once they are determined that there IS a single most important authority in the world, they will do their best to "please" them.

And I've seen plenty of people who wanted to, as you say, "feel that they are doing the right things," but the real motivation behind THAT, isn't passive. Some people want to feel that they are correctly religious or patriotic or whatever, in order to justify their REAL goal, which is to attack other people and tell them how to live.

Pedophiles are known to seek out positions of authority over children in order to control them for their own reasons. So too, many people seek out positions of religious or patriotic authority, not to lead or to help or to live up to the standards which they pretend to be upholding, but instead to HAVE THE CONTROL that authority affords them, so that they can indulge their real pleasure of abusing others.

But yes, in many instances, it all stops at their just wanting to FEEL that they are in power, or that they are on the right track, or in the case of romance, that they are in love. That's why some people fall in love so easily, and also why they may suddenly dump the person they've just spent the last few months or years proclaiming everlasting adoration for, and take up with some stranger they just met.

I've found that self-awareness is not something that comes naturally. A person has to do a LOT of work, to figure themselves out, no matter how simple or calm their lives may appear to be.

I see this a lot in American society. We are a culture ruled (increasingly) by appearances. But that's also what makes the topic complicated.

Hypocrisy and willfulness aside, I think many of us would like to be more religious, patriotic, or loving. We often have so many distractions and demands placed upon us that we find ourselves unable to put as much effort into being who we want to be as people. That is, we experience tremendous pressure to conform. If the people and culture around us constantly focuses on appearances over reality, then we become pressured to fit in. Otherwise we find our lives becoming more difficult, more stressful, and often more lonely. I don't find this a good direction for any society or culture. In fact, I view it as a recipe for disaster.

I find it very difficult to "be me". As a result, I've had to nurture a certain level of detachment when dealing with other people. I don't mean becoming asocial or antisocial. I can still be sociable. I just need to avoid gossip and becoming overly involved in the lives of others. It's about identifying and maintaining a healthy balance in my own life. That will always be a work-in-progress since it requires constant adaptation.

And yet, I sometimes find myself falling into the trap of romanticizing an idea or opportunity. That's why I need to surround myself with the right type of people. Some of those people have to be ones who can "ground" me, helping to bring me back to reality and objectivity. Those people are becoming harder to find. Fewer still are the people who can do so tactfully, i.e. blunt the sting of honesty and truth.

I felt it once....don't even know what she looks like....had the most awesome chats ever....then I just stopped chatting coz I found that I prolly was being creepy~~