Have any of you had a life altering event happen that changed you for the better.

Example: I was diagnosed with MS in 2001, I went through the feel sorry for myself stage, wanting to die, because the pain was so intense, quality of life bad. But somewhere, I realized my quality of life was only bad because I sat around feeling sorry for myself and did not even try to enjoy the life I still had.

In this process I learned what real love is, not the selfish, "what can they do for me" love we all call real but real unselfish giving of oneself with no expectations in return.

I learned how to give myself, body, soul and spirit real love and care.

I learned that just being here with people is a gift we each give eachother.

I learned that it is not someone elses job to make me feel better when I am down, it is mine. Even though others will, it is still my own responsibility to make myself happy and content.

I learned that you can be shallow and think your looks are all that get you anywhere but when a lightening bolt strikes and takes it away, you had better have thought of the other things you have that are good about yourself or you will really suffer. I was unable to walk well for a couple of years and found that when you are in public and show a disability people shun you and avoid you. In this situation you had better not value how others treat you or look at you because you will wilt and die if you do.

I learned that I was not a victim of life but a liver of life. Meaning that whatever you are handed in life you had better work with it and be happy you are still here to feel, absorb, breath, watch, soak in, etc.... all essense of life. There is so much to enjoy that people miss in their everyday.

There are more lessons but I will stop here.

I want to let everyone know that I recovered from the original three attacks enough to be walking and doing well. One does not know I have it unless I tell them and I AM VERY LUCKY on that account, others do not fair so well.

But I really want to hear from others who share this kind of experience and what they learned and how it changed them. So please respond

that story is completly eyeopening and spiritual, I sometimes feel sorry for myself for the smallest things, brought tears to my eyes
you are a definite inspiration, I wish you all the best

Thanks goddess

I am still hoping for some similar stories though too?????

I got into a life threatening car accident, ended up hospitalized and walked away with a life long struggle with backpain. However, compared to your story, I should smack myself for being such a wuss.

filubie, no you shouldn't, trauma from those kinds of accidents cause not only physical trauma and pain but psychological issues. Do you do relaxation breathing and concentration exercises for the pain and stress. Did it make you appreciate your life more? I bet it did at some level Thank you for responding and welcome to the site

I've had a similar experience, Dragoness. It's amazing how you learn what's truly important and worthwhile in this world. I had some messed up priorites but not anymore

I went through some experiences in the army i would NEVER wish on anyone but they made me grow up and appreciate life!!!

Thank you for responding suzin

All I can say are some are stronger than others. I was with my husband almost 3 years before me married. After we married he suffered a major seizure and was diagnoisd with uncontrolled eplipsy. Needless to say he hates doctors and hospitals, It was a fight to get him to take his med or go to the Er, when he couldn't stop seizing. After several 2 years we seperated. He blamed me for his illness. He was in and out of the ER on average of 8 times a month, in the first year had 9 med changes, 3 very bad reactions to new meds, was diagnoised with anemia, bone marrow cancer (on thanksgiving), and had to under go major testing to find out it was a negative reaction to the 3 new meds he was on. He was told his seizuers started 5 years before he meet me. I dont know anymore if I loved him, but I do know you have to want to change. We have been seperated 1 year and the divorce was finallized in Feb 2007. When he realized he might lose custody of our daughter he stopped drinking, started taking him meds, he's better but will never be seizure free.Sometimes you just need the right person to remind you your lifes worth living. He loves our daughter and she is what it took to wake him up. Lifes not easy.

FYI - i just woke up and cant spell awake

Mikey As long as you got something positive from it then that is what really counts.

Dragoness

Dragoness,



OK, normally, I'm not inclined to share some personal hardships, but your post has drawn my sympathy and I share your insights with a similar, yet less imminent threat hanging over my future, but that is debatable.


30 years ago, a 50' fall shrunk me 1", broke 2 vertebrae , ruined 2 discs and basically ruined my day.

Doctors said move on, ok.
I walked away from it, so?
But damage was done.
Pain and complications added insult to injury.

Born with migraines..genetic...Thanks,Dad.


Blind in one eye, can't see well out of the other.
Cataracts...Thanks, Mom

Intra-ocular lens in the one that does see still requires 3 pairs of glasses to do what needs doing.

3 failed marriages, plundered twice financially and raising my youngest from the age of 2 alone and fighting off bankruptcy at the time. My youngest is 15 now.

Over the years, there have been times when bed rest was required for months just to resume walking.

Wives don't like the view of this type of scenery.

No matter what they may say.

I bounce back, can thrive, rise above pain, weakness, adversity and hardships and know the future is unknown but move forward.

Recently, the construction industry has skidded to a halt and these are days that my retirement funds, not locked down, are being depleted.

My racing hobby was close to becoming a viable income engine and my supporting cash flow for that transition skidded all of it to a slow tick. I've got too much money tied up in it for this to have happened.

But hey.

Life is good.

We move forward and love.

We live or die in our hearts first.

We are alive and that is the message.

God Bless you, dear lady.

maraskia, you are right it is an individual strength they must pull on. I have found that if you ask them what good happened for them today instead of letting them rant about the negative it will help them to start looking at the good in life still. He has alot of hurdles to cover but we can all find the good as it is there for us. He has to find the good though you cannot force feed him. Good luck with that, hopefully he will pull himself together for his daughter if not for himself. It is always more effective if they do it for themselves though.

Have you learned anything positive from it????

(((Dragoness))))...you are an inspiration....
your so right...when I think I have it bad, only to look around me and come to the realization that it can always be worse..
thank you for your insight..and I wish the best for you..

Wouldee, I know where you draw your strength. God and I have never had a good relationship so that was not a drawing point for me, but if it works. I did not here a whole lot of positivity there, you are feeling over burdened perhaps? I will wish on you the ability to let go of the unnecessary worries and do all you can for the necessary worries and let them go too. Hopefully this will help ease your burden. Much love to you from the dragon

thank you moody

Anytime Dragoness...

I've had two major ones Dragoness.

The first involves my middle child, Michael. At 9 days of age, he just wouldn't eat. I didn't think anything about it cuz the 2 year old just got over a stomach bug. Then he started turning gray. We rushed him to the hospital. Driving home that night without my new baby was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Two weeks later he had his first open heart surgery, with two more and a pacemaker implanted by the time he was two. He didn't start walking until he was four. He's now 12, and is also autistic. He doesn't talk and still wears a diaper. He's a beautiful child and I wouldn't trade him for the world. After posting this, I'm gonna add his pic to my profile. The autism has affected our lives more so than the heart condition. My lessons learned deal with how people treat you in public when you are 'different'. Michael is very different in how he acts. You can certainly tell he's not normal. He doesn't care in the LEAST what people think. I don't even notice folks reactions to him anymore, because now I don't care what strangers thing about him -- and that leads to my next story, cuz I don't care what people think about me in public -- now that I'm bald!!!

Second life altering event, of which I'm still smack dab in the middle of. Married 15 years - I thought happily, three kids. Diagnosed with BC in March '07, surgeries Apr, May '07. Chemo Jun-Sep '07. On July 5th, I got up in the middle of the night cuz I couldn't sleep and went to his nightstand to get the remote. There was a red phone on the floor. He doesn't have a red phone. I took it to the bathroom and proceeded to get my guts wrenched. I woke him up and confronted him. He sat on the end of the bed and calmly told me he was in love with someone else, he didn't love me anymore but wanted to help me through the cancer. After treatment, he planned to leave to be with her. Mind you, I have three kids at home and still have 4 chemo sessions to get through. My family is 3 to 4 hours away and I'm in a place I've only lived one year, so no close friends. At first I thought I 'needed' him to get through this. It didn't take me long to kick him out. When I did, I told him that no man is gonna live under my roof that doesn't think I'm the BEST thing that EVER happened to him. My lesson on this one -- I'm alot stronger than I ever realized. I made it through those 4 chemo sessions with very little help. I have a great support group in family/friends that really came through for me on the emotional support end of things. I came away from this realizing how blessed I am to have such good friends and a family that would do anything for me.

I'm all finished with treatments, and my hair is growing back!! My prognosis is excellent and life is GOOD.

I'm happy to hear you're doing so well Dragoness!

11 years ago a full sized chevy Van drove threw the back of my Nissan , luckily it stopped at my head ...... BUT my body is permanently screwed , constant pain , my kids where young , (so was I) I cant play very much any more and when I do I suffer for weeks or months waiting for the pain levels an spasms to subside again ...I'm sort of used to living in pain , try to make the most of it but with the pain comes depression and bitterness sometimes ...
my activities are limited ..I cant work ....I was an active hyper mom that still liked to climb trees etc...
I was told not to but a lil over four years ago I went against their advise an had another child , ya they where right it set me back , but he is worth the struggle , he's a smart lil kid to , he knows I am weak , he already knows how to use that to his advantage..lol..lil monster...
YA ..... it TOTALLY changed my life , my mind has developed though I believe in compensation to the ol bod ...its not fair , but I have to accept it an try to enjoy some quality of life ...oh this is depressing..gonna cry , I was just gonna say a few words an duck out now I made myself all upset takes alot of strength to carry on ...no family single mom..blaaaaaa

That was my point, hun.

No worries.

We live with what we are given and make the most of everything.

That's the encouragement that others not facing unusual challenges can benefit from.

Also the comfort to others facing steep and difficult challenges.