Topic: Supper time
msharmony's photo
Mon 08/06/18 07:46 AM
Do you think that sitting around with loved ones over a meal is a resource for keeping the bonds strong?

In our family it was always a tradition for catching up and keeping interested and connected with one another about the daily ups and downs. We also had weekly family meetings regarding issues, announcements, and rules.

I saw some roundtable that families spend an average of just around 30 minutes a day together. I think that is so tragic a part of our 'progress' as human beings. I still make one or two evenings a week to visit with my mom and have dinner with my adult son once a week. I know people move about more and find separation from family a sign of 'independence', but I do admire the cultures that still do the extended family culture in their homes and their lives.

so is physically 'being together' with our loved ones a lost strength or a welcome change?

no photo
Mon 08/06/18 08:11 AM
It is in my opinion a lost strength. We do every evening meal as a family. No electronics no tv just us catching up on the day. The grown one's are home for Sunday dinners so we all can visit and talk about our week.

no photo
Mon 08/06/18 08:46 AM
I think family meals together are critical to a strong family and strong families add to a stronger society. What you describe is how I was raised and in addition to dinners together we spent one night a week as a family doing something together. Be it swimming, museum, time at a park, special movie night, family games. It was family time once a week.
It doesn't mean the family won't have issues or marriages will survive but I believe it builds a base and strong bond for the family to care for one another. Especially the bonds children make with one another. It takes commitment to do this and teaches the value of family relationships which is most important I believe.


msharmony's photo
Mon 08/06/18 09:18 AM

It is in my opinion a lost strength. We do every evening meal as a family. No electronics no tv just us catching up on the day. The grown one's are home for Sunday dinners so we all can visit and talk about our week.


thats awesome drinker

msharmony's photo
Mon 08/06/18 09:18 AM

I think family meals together are critical to a strong family and strong families add to a stronger society. What you describe is how I was raised and in addition to dinners together we spent one night a week as a family doing something together. Be it swimming, museum, time at a park, special movie night, family games. It was family time once a week.
It doesn't mean the family won't have issues or marriages will survive but I believe it builds a base and strong bond for the family to care for one another. Especially the bonds children make with one another. It takes commitment to do this and teaches the value of family relationships which is most important I believe.




drinker

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 08/06/18 09:48 AM
I worked different shifts while raising my family.
Evening shift was hardest on our unity because we didn't sit down for supper together (except on weekends).
I noticed an increase in my kids behavior problems when I was on evening shift. Our routine was broken during those times.
I often got up to see the kids off to school when on evening shift.
It helped, especially during their high school years.
During summer vacation, I was often met at the door by my family and while I ate my warmed up dinner, they had a midnight snack with me and we talked like having a dinner meal.
My family valued my guidance.
Momma wouldn't allow my middle boy to sit next to me at dinner.
We were too much alike and played too much.

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 08/06/18 01:36 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 08/06/18 02:03 PM
I had family meals together with my parents all while growing up.

I did the same with my children even after their Dad and I was divorced.

Family time is the Best. It's only a lost cause to those who doesn't really see it as being that important as others things, or events.

iPhones, tablets, computers take up much of children's time this last Decade.

Many children have one or more of these at a Young elementary age , then they are in every kind of activities they like. Plus going to school.

These days Parents are following what children. Want to do Next.

laugh


We also did picnics, fairs, fishing, etc together and the lists goes on.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 08/06/18 01:57 PM
Family time wasn't only at dinner for us.
We did movies, homework and even chores as a family.

I see the same thing happening with my kids and their families.

I grew up with friends that had no family activities on a regular basis.
They didn't have a family dynamic they were individuals.
They grew up to have lower family values and their children's families reflect this.

My homelife was severly fragmented. My parents had very little interest in us kids. Family time was my big sister and I.
I made it a point to give my kids family values and created family traditions and I broke the chain my parents tried to continue.
My big sister basically raised me.

Mike6615's photo
Mon 08/06/18 02:04 PM
Edited by Mike6615 on Mon 08/06/18 02:07 PM
"Suppertime...and the livin' is easy..." smile2

(George Gershwin, 1934)

shovelheaddave's photo
Mon 08/06/18 02:38 PM

"Suppertime...and the livin' is easy..." smile2

(George Gershwin, 1934)



LOL
I think that it is supposed to be SUMMERtime,not SUPPERtime...

but,i think I like your version better!!

:thumbsup:

Mike6615's photo
Mon 08/06/18 05:57 PM
Edited by Mike6615 on Mon 08/06/18 06:01 PM


"Suppertime...and the livin' is easy..." smile2

(George Gershwin, 1934)



LOL
I think that it is supposed to be SUMMERtime,not SUPPERtime...

but,i think I like your version better!!

:thumbsup:


Thanks. I remember my days on shovels...adjusting valves...and 400 miles per quart of 60-weight.

no photo
Tue 08/07/18 06:06 AM
Do you think that sitting around with loved ones over a meal is a resource for keeping the bonds strong?

It can be.
It's not guaranteed to be.
And probably won't be.
Especially if that's the only thing done and there's really no other purpose for sitting around together.

is physically 'being together' with our loved ones a lost strength or a welcome change?

Neither?

Physically "being together" is ultimately about communication.
Communicating bonds, communicating boundaries, constantly figuring out where you're at in relation to others, communicating social contracts, defining who is what where, who/what defines your group, it's purpose, it's values, it's goals, what it can do for you, what it expects from you.

People always change. Groups are based on people. Groups always change.
To adapt to the constant change, constant change in position, constant change in values, expectations, etc., constant feedback is necessary.
Most communication (the most important communication) is not direct.


Physically being together is a necessity for personal as well as group identity in order to get the appropriate communication feedback defining reality.

No matter what people need to (and will seek out) being physically together as much as possible with that which they value most especially as it defines who they are, what they want in life, what they see their purpose as, and what they see is fulfilling that purpose.


Not being physically around family is neither a "lost strength" nor a "welcome change."


Stephen's photo
Thu 08/26/21 01:06 PM
of course yes

Larsi666 😽's photo
Thu 08/26/21 02:58 PM
Since me and my parents live in different countries, and I can only go over to Germany twice a year for 10 days, I enjoy every moment with them. Including meals. Be it home cooked or going out to a decent restaurant.

no photo
Sat 08/28/21 01:43 PM
just me and my dogs

I talk to them but they don't say much

we eat around the same time just so they don't beg for my food

off subject... trying to eat well for less than 10 cents an ounce now -still doable