No worries. I am not throwing the towel

I have had this happen to me a lot lately but when I stop the romantic part I am respectful and honest. I don't have to hurt them but I do have to make myself clear.
When I break off romantic intimacy with a woman I don't have another one waiting in the wings. I do it because she and I do not align.
I have had one or two try like the dickens to hold on but they soon found it was fultile but I was always friendly towards them and still am. The one exception is my X and it has nothing to do with us but how she treats our kids.

You don't have to hurt someone to break up with them but you must be clear and final.
If they can't move on, then you sever the ties and go to ignore mode.
If you remain friends be aware that you might have to remind them every once in awhile. Catch it as soon as it manifests and be genuine and respectful but stand your ground.

I never think friendship will develop into a relationship. Two different things entirely. That's also why I don't do 'friends' with an ex. A partner / ex-partner isn't a friend.

sometimes friendship does evolve to a relationship ., and yes chemistry is important to me but there are many in relationships devoid of chemistry so it is not the only factor . Social behaviour is complex and really the boundaries of friendships/ relationships can become blurred . Ultimately it depends on the combined motivation to be in a relationship.


A man once told me he goes on lots of coffee meets with the aim of making friends . That way he is seldom disappointed and if there happens to be a reciprocal spark ., it is his lucky day .

Hiya Lu! Looking sexy and summery!

I see it differently. Realize that just because I see it differently doesn't mean I think how you see it is wrong. Just different.

I married my best friend and she remained my best friend for 24 years. Had she not betrayed my trust with lies we would probably still be married.

I don't want to enter into an intimate relationship with a woman that is not my friend first. Friendship signifies personal trust where acquaintances lack that personal trust. I see trust as very important to both friendships and intimacy.

First; in case like that; we both must be honest and sincere. A person perfectly knows when real friendship is installed; no space for another type of relationship. If friendship is not clear and a person likes his/her "friend"...then; better to talk clear and be honest and sincere again and tell the truth.

Between 2 good longtime friends; there is no space for intimacy or similar situations. it's not honest or /and sincere to do that.

I suppose it depends how they met? if they met on a dating site, it's perfectly reasonable for them to expect a normal relationship and that includes a healthy sex life.

activity partners are great but from a dating app?

I was in a male-dominated degree program and career. I came to know men very well and had several friends during college and working. It was priceless insight to how men think.

Ooops somebody got friend zoned

Me? No, I dated several and met my Xhusband at work. Most men in the career are married, wives don't need to work, lunch buddies.

That was just a general statement not meant towards you sorry if you took it that way

If friendship is real,honest and sincere and mentally installed; there's no space for a real and intimate relationship;impossible. A "light friendship" can be converted in a formal relationship;if both "contenders" agree.

In another point; an EX can be a real friend;specially if children are involved;but a friend for other reasons. Never go to bed with an EX; that's a good advice; it's much better for obvious reasons.

I subscribe to the theory of friendship is two people that admires and trusts each other and share common values .

But when emotions are involved that gets thrown out the window.

In my experience if there is some kind of attraction or feeling for that person then friendship is not an option.

I agree that open communication is important in friendships of any nature.
People don't read signals (dense) or they can misinterpret signals.
More often than now, when the lines are blurred, you need eye contact and to actually say the words and wait until you see they understand those words.

Some will try to side-track the focus because they don't want to go there but ya gotta remain focused and firm about it.
You can do this without hurting them.

I find it amazing how many full grown adults have the mentality of a high school kid when it comes to relationships.

I think there is some truth to your statement.

Many adults get hurt. from being Rejected. It should. be a disappointment but don't blame the other person just because they had no serious interest in you.

isn't rejections a part of life ?

Trying doesn't hurt guys....keep trying and hope for the best.... Or you'll end up likehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UZkVqLjGM_I