I'm a mature, married man who has endured a passionless, sexless marriage for too long. It's so horrible being trapped like this. I care for my family, but go to bed every night with a stone-cold woman in the bed next to me. Every morning I wake up and wonder "will this be the day she decides to express a sexual interest?" And every night I learn she is just as cold as she was the day before.
You wonder why men "cheat"? This is why. Do that and stand a chance of feeling alive again... or wither away to a pile of nothingness.

Hummm seems your trying to justify why you cheat on your wife.

I've never understood why a man/woman could not stand up and just admit they don't want to be in the relationship anymore and just go their own ways before they drag their partner through the mud by cheating on them...

To each their own... even if I don't agree with those that do and try to put it all on the other..

If you go into a marriage just because of the sex, your on the road to being divorced. There are times in a person's life whether it be health or mental issues or just don't want sex that will test your marriage. What's lacking in a relationship is friendship and unconditional love nowadays. Look within yourself and see what's really important.
Fun for a few minutes or the love and support from your significant other.

Have you considered asking her why is she withholding intimacy from you?

Most women dont withhold intimacy with their spouse unless something is wrong, whether its physically, mentally or emotionally.

When was the last time you sat down with her and discussed what is on her mind vs what is on your mind? its not all about you....

Instead of looking for validation to "cheat" assuming you still have some love for her why not make an honest attempt to go to counseling and discuss these issues vs being on line looking for something on the side

What do you think?

Nope. That's the reason why men(or women) with no sense of personal honor whatsoever, decide to "cheat."


Please be sure to put into your profile that you believe in lying, cheating, and refusing to act responsibly; and that you think that love, and the rest of the world owes you a bunch of fun, entirely at OUR cost.

By the way, you and I define the word "mature" differently in this application.

totally agree with you

Hmm, marriage is supposed to be the unification of two souls sharing life together. The ONE you choose above all others.
You might want to look at that union and see where the problem is and if she was important to you enough to marry her, why is she now not important enough to be faithful to?

Communication is important.
So is your overall attitude.
Perhaps you might try looking at the situation from her point of view honestly.
Do you treat here with passion and respect?
or, Do you treat her like shid because you don't get everything you want?
Is the relationship about you or is it about both of you?
You chose a commitment to be dedicated to her and your couplehood.
Is your commitment still focused?

There is obviously something wrong.
Are you going to run away from it or work to fix it?
She was worth it at one time, wasn't she?

I know from experience that there are some lines that can't be crossed in a relationship.
Did YOU cross her line of acceptance?

You should be aware that some people on dating sites are filled with negative emotions and will tell you many things just to see if you will fail.
Ya gotta do what you know is right.
Only you know if you chose poorly in your decision to marry this woman.
But, even if you chose poorly, you have to decide if it can be fixed and if you even want it to be fixed.

Don't ruin your marriage trying to prove a point of trying to spite her.
People don't spite people they love.

Talk to her, not to us.

neman01
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Joined Fri 07/29/16

Helo neman01
So you have been on this dating site (and probably others) for almost two years now. So you have been cheating for almost two year now at least eh?

.. and now you you are trying to justify why you are cheating?

You said "You wonder why men "cheat"? "

lol we don't wonder why men cheat.. we already know.. men cheat because they are selfish self-centered s.o.b.'s

my two cents

*Hand clapping* Bravo!

Nonsense!

Thanks River.. love your new username

You're welcome rosie.. and thank you too

You need counseling or a divorce. Wonder what's your wife's side of the story is! Also open forum not really the Best place for advice on this problem.

Men cheat for all types of excuses.

Not my place to judge.


But, does your wife, and her divorce
attorney know that you're screwing
around on her?

Been there, spent years and many dollars on counseling and mental health services; total waste of time and money. Finally got divorced after I retired. Couldn't work to financially recover from the divorce screwing!! Now trying to date or any type of relationship at my age is difficult.

Yes, talk about it with her. Obviously there is a problem that you both share in your marriage. Give it a short time (maybe a year) to find and improve the problem. If that doesn't work, either tell her you are going to have an open marriage or file for a divorce. Better to pay the price for a divorce at a younger age when you have a chance to recover from it.

PLEASE DON'T HANG ON HOPING FOR A CHANGE THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN ON ITS OWN!!!!!

I understand, and you are right, a lot of men do use "withholding" vs "refusing" to have sex, and that makes more sense.

Slap some heating pads on her. She if that thaws her out.. it should.

Yes, some people withhold sex and/or intimacy to get what they want. Do as I want and you get all my attention; don't and you get nothing. That is asking for a divorce war! When it is more work to attempt to appease the spousal demands, it is time to dump the spouse.

wow ,it hot

Do women really believe men marry only for sex? I've met a few who did but not the majority. In re-readng the OP's post that message didn't come across.

Now, IMO this is the wrong place for him. Seeing a marriage counselor would be a first. Second a Looooong, open minded, talk with the wife would be in order with the inevitable question of "why did sex die" eventually being asked. Who knows what the reason is? It could be he did something or she just lost interest in him. Again this is not the place to find an answer to this issue.