Current mood: annoyed
Category: Romance and Relationships


You know I have been through a lot in my life. My profile tells you about my health. But I have to get this off my chest tonight. I am categorized in a small group of men called the nice guys. You know what I'm talking about I'm one of those guys that the ladies turn down because they want a bad boy. I'm one of those guys that women think are weak because we try to stay out of trouble, pitiful because we don't treat them like a piece of meat to just through them down and ravage them, goofy because we have morals and standards, crazy because when we try to win a womans heart we actually romance them, nerdy because we are not suave and cunning into making you think we love you just to get sex and not call the next day, boring because we put others and responsibilities before our own needs and wants and also lonely because we care about others before ourselves.



I have fallen in love four times in my life. They were all beautiful women that didn't care whether or not they were happy but more into what everyone else thought about them. I take that back except one. The one was Angela! You know there are a few good men that have treated people very good just to be treated like crap back. A small story for everyone.



I was in love in JR High. I wanted to be with this girl so bad. I would bring flowers and candy and love letters and cards to try and win her. The whole time we were in school together she would hardly talk to me unless no one was around. I was pretty good friends with her brother and would go over to her house and she would be like all around me. But if one of her friends came over she would be back to being a snob. But for two years I didn't give up and she never once got a boy friend. I had to move suddenly during the summer. So I was not to able to tell everyone by and stuff. Well 2 years went by. I only lived one school district away and I got a job in my old hometown. Just so happen she came walking in and seen me there. I was talking to some of my old buddies from the old school. She came up to me and slapped me across the face and *****ed me out for not saying good by to her. Then she proceeded to tell me that she had finally decided to be my girlfriend and I just disappeared on her. Then she kissed me and said she would forgive me if I would become her boyfriend right then. I told her no that I had a girlfriend and I loved her very much. My point in telling you this is so you will see you might think you want to be with that person but because God forbid your social status may be tarnished you treat them like crap. Then when your social status is gone you want the good thing you could've had but now youre stuck with crappy life you have.



And here is something else you all need to know. Emotions are emotions but we down through the years have four words we use as emotions that are truly not emotions. These words are dislike, like, hate and love. And before you get your panties in a bunch listen to what I have to say first before you criticize me. Now let me explain, do you choose to be happy, sad, mad, glad, depressed, scared, upset, lonely, angry, afraid or giddy. No you don't because they are true feelings you have inside you. But like is an action not a feeling, you choose whether or not you like someone or not, same goes with love, dislike and hate. Now don't get me wrong when your attracted to someone it is lust (which means something you want). We all begin with a relationship, which is just a foundation for being friends (like), acquaintances (dislike), GF/BF (love), mortal enemies (hate). But they are all still chosen actions not feelings. But when you are in love you have this euphoric sensation with all your feelings that cause this action. And the same goes with hate, all your feelings towards someone is pure hatred. That is why you despise them with all your heart.



My last thing is this, you know what is really funny is the guys you think are wimps are usually the ones that can kick the living crap out of someone but they have enough sense to walk away. We are the guys that don't prey on women, we open the doors for ladies and for everyone, we are the best friends that you cry on when the assholes you just have to be with treat you like ****, we are the ones that give you gifts for no reason at all, we are the ones that make you laugh, make you feel alive, make you feel so important, we support you and your dreams without trying to change them, we are the ones that come to your aid when you need help because your boyfriend is not man enough or committed enough to help you, and the one that we always get stuck with. WE ARE THE GUYS THAT LET YOU GO TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE JUST TO SEE YOU HAPPY, BECAUSE WE ARE THE ONES THAT TRUELY LOVED YOU!



So next time instead of judging the man based on what your friends are going to think, judge them on what your heart thinks, because remember they arent the ones paying for your divorce in the end your kids are!!!



Just a reminder over 55 percent of Americans go through a divorce, mainly because their spouse wasn't treating them they way they should've. Here is another reminder 40 percent of Americans go through more than one divorce because they didn't learn the first time!!!!.



Also if you are a nice guy or girl then please leave a comment because we need to be heard. If your not one leave a comment anyway. So we will know who you are to stay away from.

Well man i hate to say it but yes they do I am the nice guy and I have been tru hell with girls!!!!

Hello. I'm a nice woman, but we wouldn't be compatible. You're too judgmental against women for me, but I'm sure there's someone out there for you.

judgemental cuz the vast majority(tho not all) of women have a double standard, calling themselves princess and such, acting like they deserve the world but then acting like sluts

tho in situations like these its to easy to generalize

but stillll

not all good girls want the bad boys. i'm such a good girl. never wanted the bad boy, but always got it anyway. call me naive...lol. i must say though that one appeal of said "bad boy" is that they're not wimps. not that all good guys are, because they're not. but girls like their men to be the protectors, not the submissive "wimps." that's what i mean by that. so good guys interested? bring it on!

and yes good guys always get hurt

cuz the jerks wreck it for us

ive lost several girls cuz i was protective of them tho

bad boys lead to 1 thing- gurly gettin hurt

the safe bet is the nice guy

reminds me of a quote from Star Trek

"I would pick the side most likely to leave us in peace wen the dust settles"

i think so much we focus on the bad of things instead of realizing that we went through that heartache for some reason. most obvious reason being.. that person is NOT RIGHT FOR YOU and you deserve MUCH better...(and i think all people get hurt... not just good guys or good girls.. we just dwell on it more) i can't tell you how many times i cried about a guy i was with and then about 6 months later i was like damn ... thanks for doing me the favor. I think we think of being alone as such a bad thing instead of taking time to think about the things that truly should matter to us like our family and our hobbies... i guess what i'm trying to say is.. keep your head up .. and one day all the heartache will pay off when you meet the one person who was worth it all

You know it gets quite tiring hearing that women must like to be treated like crap because they won't go out with this nice guy or that nice guy and it's usually "that" nice guy that is passing that judgment on the woman. I agree some women that is "SOME" do like dating the guy that treats them like crap. But the majority of women do not. Especially at our age. At our age most of us know what we want and what we don't want. I can tell after a couple of dates if I'm going to be compatible with someone and if I'm not then I cut it off and suggest friendship, if I feel there can be a friendship. I think the key is not "looks, nice, money, intelligence nor BAD boy", but the key is that we are attracted to that person, to the things that are important to us. I would bet $50 that for all the nice men complaining that women like to date "jerks", that those men are asking women out that are "nice" but GOODLOOKING and then they're mean women because they didn't want to go out with a nice guy. But that nice guy didn't ask out the not so hot chic that was really, really nice! Tell me the nice guy routine doesn't drip with hipocracy.....

He is not being judgemental he was just saying what he has been thru. I have been thru some of the same things. I have had girls that broke up with me for the bad boy type and try to come back and I say no!!! I have NEVER cheated and have been cheated on more times then I can count!! So no I dont think him or I am being Judgemental I just think there are a few good ones left and not many or single and the ones that are get treated like crap till either they change or they give up!!!!

did you ever think its because you secretly go after the "bad girl type" who in turn treat you like **** and go with a bad guy?

I don't think that you are judgemental towards all women, just the ones who really do not know what they want in life, or could it be that somewhere in their sub-councious they feel that they do not deserve a "good guy." The woman's self esteem has alot to do with the choices she makes. Just like a man's self esteem has alot to do with his.
Just keep in mind that this is not really a small world. and you are only dealing with a very minute part of it. Getting to know more and more people. I too am a good woman, and I want a good man. Personally I have come across a good man, only to find that he was not totally honest with me and honesty rides high on my list. Please do not lump all woman kind into the ones you described, the ones you are looking for are out there, it could be that we too have been hurt to the point of being afraid to try and trust again.

HERE HERE SO SAY WE ALLL!!!!!!

The problem I see with most of the good guys is they are nice to a girl who is not over her jerk of an ex yet and he feels if he shows her a better man she will get over him. BIG mistake!!!!If you think or have an inkling that she is not over her ex no matter how bad he treated her, run like hell. You cannot, no matter how hard you try, get a girl over their current or ex by showing her you are the better man. Just turn your back and forget you met her. If you meet her again in the future and she is COMPLETELY single then maybe try then but again you cannot show her what she is missing if she is stuck. I hope that helps

I did not read through your whole post as it was looonnnngggg, so if I missed something sorry.

I am a nice guy, and to been hurt.

But, I am nice to the point that I LET HER HURT ME...MY FAULT!

If WE allow a lady to be spoiled and let her walk all over us then,,,,,,,,WHO'S REALLY AT FAULT????

WE LEARN and TRY to CHANGE so as NOT to ALLOW that to HAPPEN AGAIN to us,,,BUT..
LOL,,, WE ARE ALSO CREATURES OF HABIT, and thus,,,we will repeat
our selves....

I wish this was true but it is not. I have actually asked girls out not by their looks but by their personality. Yes I do prefer a woman that is cute or takes care of them self. They don't have to be beautiful. I like woman that is smart, and loves to have fun. I say all this because I have been treated like this by several different types of women from pretty to average to not even average at all. Oh yeah heres the kicker. I have been told by most of them that they were actracted to me alot but I was just to nice for them. I am not however placing all women in the same category because I believe just as most women believe there are a few of them left. I am sorry if I ruffled some feathers but just being honest and thought I would share my point of view.

Thats not my thoughts when looking. Its for good and nicer,
than what I had.....lol


But I don't have a big issue with nice guy or bad boy,,,the problem is finding one WHO WON'T LIE to you...

Maybe I should find a NUN....LOL

I agree with chef Sean. Have been trough the same thing as him....No matter how nice I was with my ex, she never appreciated it...I let her go hoping that she will realize one day how good and nice I was to her....My heart was hurt so much and my trust was bashed so many times that I don't even know if I will ever be able to say "I love you" to a woman anymore.

Most women are evil but necessary.... We still need them even if they can be evil huh? ..... As far as marriage is concerned.....Marriage seems to be a business nowadays in the US.... It's all about money...materials, property....Not the way God wanted it....And the reason why so many relationships have failed is because, one, those people do not have God in their lives, and two, most of those (evil) women out there value physical appearances more than inside values or qualities. As a result, the marriage or relationship will fail because the exterior beauty those women value so much cannot and could not ever prevail over inside values.

I certainly know that I will not change my way because of the way some evil women have acted toward me. I will continue to be nice because that's the way God makes me and that's the way I am. I will certainly be prudent and cautious. Thus, we all need to be prudent and very observant. Observing changes throughout a relationship is very important because that's where the break up starts. Most of us (men) fail to see those changes throughout the relationship and, as a result, at the end, when those changes have been implemented, the worst of the damage has already been done and someone's heart has been broken. -- Pay attention to the last sentence...."When a woman leaves you, the day that she says it's over is not the day she left you." She had already left you a few weeks or months ago even if she was there with you physically.

nice guys get hurt - they let ppl hurt him

good guys get hurt and grow from the experience in a positive manner and dont get hurt in the same way again