hi, am Eddie, so am dating this very beautiful and sexy lady from my home town. we met on Facebook, she liked me and definitely I liked her. we started chatting and video calling on whatsapp and everything is great at the time, but it seems so unreal and I think she's up to something. it's been 2weeks now and am not sure if she's really into me or she just want to lure me into loving her then start asking for cash.ooh,n am miles away from her so it's a long distance relationship and I have like one year to go back home. anyone to help me out please....

First things first, have you actually met this woman?

sadly, nope, we met on Facebook, she's opened up to me n told me soo much about her family n past, we video call everyday so atleast I know I ain't talking to a scam but she claims she loves me but am doubting it coz that's too early.

Wrong


You know that she is an attractive woman, but how would you know her story and motivation? You need to meet and SPEND SIGNIFICANT TIME together before you can even begin to understand who this woman is.

I do not pretend to understand how it is that people can "have a relationship" before they meet. Whatever... All I can say is that if it feels wrong then let it go.

Simplicity in all things usually works. If you need to suspend reality to believe something then guess what? It's a crock of $hit.

good point, guess i'll play cool n get to know what her real intentions are.. al be seeing her in 6 months time, then al get to know her true colours

Hi eddie, ask yourself if this very beautiful and sexy lady would be attracted to you in real life. If the answer is yes, hey it's a match.. but if the answer is no and you continue to pursue her thinking you hit the jackpot, then you must believe in miracles. And you know what? Miracles do happen and unicorns are real.

Also you said, "so am dating this very beautiful and sexy lady from my home town.."

If you have not met in person, you ain't dating.


my two cents.. good luck

thanx mzrozie, I guess it's not real n am being driven by lust n not love. will take your advice n put this 'soap opera' to an end... cheers guys you been so helpfull

If you also have feelings for that girl.. why not give it a try but i think it's better if you'll meet in person first (Just always remember, the feelings should be mutual...)

Me i fall to someone older than me.. (never thought that that will happen...)... that's all because of his character not because of his appearance and richness (though he's also handsome and rich)...i can feel that he has feelings for me too he opens everything eh and he always spend time to chat with me (but for some reason.. i prefer if we'll just be friends... he doesn't know that i have feelings for him anyway )


Maybe that girl is the same.. maybe she's not after the appearance of the person (but be careful too ha.. know the girl well first)... her background and her personality.. (but also another advice, be confident to yourself.. never speak bad to yourself.. more than anyone, you should be the one telling to yourself that your looks is ok)

sweet words are easy to say in video or chat.. you won't know if they're also telling the truth.. better if you meet her (if you have time and money)...

eddie simply put. MEET her FACE to FACE. I disagree w/ waterloo this far... you can make a connection and you can form a relationship from places like this. BUT and it's a big one. if if can't carry over into real life and face to face. then you have found nothing but a computer aged pen pal. so meet up already. and good luck

There is a reason to not go off site for a while

Any time they ask for money they are scammers..

Video don't mean anything except you see who is trying to really scam you instead..

It's a red flag back off and block them....

Pick a halfway place...and see if she will agree to meet...I like it when everyone brings something to the table besides an appetite...Her response should tell you something...

First thing that comes to mind is... why are you so suspicious?
Is this based on something that happened in your past, are you having problems with confidence, or is it based on a gut feeling concerning this woman?
Since you mention you are 'simple' and 'humble' I am guessing self-confidence has to do with it. It sounds like "she's so great and I am just a simple guy."
Not a good place to start a relationship from.

And why on earth do you think she will be in it for the money? Is there reason for that?

The only thing to me so far that sounds weird, but not uncommon, happens a lot, is saying you love someone when you haven't even met.
It is simply not possible to love someone after only 2 weeks and certainly not when you haven't even met.
Minor correction... in some cases it IS possible to love someone that fast (usually it isn't), but then you wouldn't be worrying about her not being for real. Then you'd know it was real and true.

As for the rest, do some soul searching as to why you are so distrusting.

I think it's possible to fall in love with someone online (but not that fast.. not two weeks). Happened to me (but the guy doesn't know, we are just friends)... i fall because he invested time to know me, he's always giving me advice, he's showing great care and concern... I like his character (he's helpful to those who are in need.. he feeds kids (street kids) and grand parents, whenever he visits my country... he's giving chocolates and balloons to younger ones... he has great concern and care for all not just to me) . I met him already (just once) after the meet up i fall more . Anyway nothing more will happen, I appreciate and value our friendship.. he's considering me as a lifelong friend... that is better I think... no break up no heart ache

It really comes down to whether you want to spend the time, possibly months, learning more about this lady before you are able to meet her when you return home. You could become very good friends by continuing to chat. The only thing you have to loose is a little time, because if she is going to ask you for money, you already know that you are not going to send her any. Don't forget it's a two way street, she is investing the same amount of time as you are in the friendship. I wish you good luck with whatever you decide is best for you,

Any girl ask for money is a waste of time for general. Internet has lot of this crap bots and stuff.

Not only girls but also boys.. and yes it's really a waste of time

This is an excellent example of why so many societies over the ages, have developed semi-formal processes to follow, in building towards serious involvement with each other.

It is VERY easy for individuals to fall in love, even over a great distance. It happens all the time. The thing is, falling in love is easy (in a one-way sort of thing), because it is essentially an expression of our romantic hungers, rather than being a real sense of lifestyle and philosophical compatibility. You can fall in love with a face in a picture, with the sound of a voice, with the way someone writes, all kinds of things. None of that, however real the feeling is, means that you and that other person can make a life together.

This is why we have all the most common "dating rules" that you keep hearing about. Maybe we should call them "processes," or "experiments" rather than "rules," since that would imply authorities that don't exist. Anyway, the reason for what you may think of as "old fashioned ways" of getting to know someone, where you as calmly as possible, take careful steps to get to know them in a lot of ways that inform you each about all the various aspects of your lives, are there precisely because they do work.

Whether this woman is a scammer or not, or is mentally "off" in some way or not, if you follow steps that you design, in order to keep your own life in order as you get to know her, you will be alright. The more obvious basics include, don't say anything you don't mean; don't make promises before you know that you will be able to keep them; don't give anything away as a gift, that you expect to get back in any form at all. That sort of thing.

True

that's informative, thanx so much dear.. I got to know the lady and some aspects of her we're a huge turn off.. I haven't told her that am backing off, but soon, she might have to look for someone else