I was wondering what others think of dating etiquette - timing, eg.:

I don't want to be thought of as a pest for having high hopes, or persistence, or patience, or severe attraction, and similar romantic afflictions.
So when is enough ?


Asking out someone:

1 time is normal.
2 times is rejected but still interested and hopeful.
3 times is enough - then give up on that one, or you are a pest.



Waiting and Hoping that someone you know and want, will eventually want you:

several months at least, depending on their circumstances, and your appeal.
1 - 2 years should be plenty, or it's obviously hopeless.
Any longer than that and they're just not into you - give up.



When to call it quits with a partner:

Three strikes and you're out. I'm talking big strikes not petty stuff.
When the pleasure is not worth the pain.
When you know there is no tolerable long term future.


Discuss!

each person has different 'rules' governing their behavior and choices

one person may believe in 'playing hard to get' and take more than the two or three times

another person may believe in being direct and expecting a 'no' to be taken as a 'no'

the scariest part of trying to date is probably the total absence of any expectations or rules in general, you just don't know what works from individual to individual until you try

Hello

Well maybe the first thing..is to let them know baseball rules apply and that 3 strikes and "YOU'RE OUTTA HERE' ..

Mm. Well, my 'rules,' such as they are, are based on my personal sensibilities. I have no particular interest in what I can "get away with,' or what others think positively or negatively about. Only with what I am comfortable with, and what makes sense to me, based on my life goals and sensibilities.

For me, one 'no' is enough to move on. I have no desire to persuade anyone that I am valuable or whatever. I have no interest in seduction. That smacks of the 'false' to me, and I long ago became absolutely convinced, that all 'false' taints whatever results. It works for some, not for me.

I figure there's no point to waiting. Not because I think people don't change, rather the exact opposite. I think people change all the time. If they are going to change to become compatible when they were not before, or to gain interest or appreciation for me that they didn't have before, that will happen whether I am standing around panting nearby or not. Since waiting accomplishes nothing, and is BORING, I wont do it. At all.

When to "call it quits?" My first serious relationship taught me that ONE serious strike is enough. If something happens that makes it clear that we aren't compatible, there's no point in dragging things out. It's like working on a machine, and finding that a part doesn't fit. If it doesn't fit, trying it again isn't going to change things. Find the right part.

Until the "Restraining Order" is served...

Well, you sure do drive home the feeling of manipulation for entertainment.

Three
Two
One
...
Go!

And everyone hurries to get their answer in.
LOL

Here's mine:
It takes how ever many times as it takes and every person is unique and therefore has unique circumstances surrounding my personal decisions about them.

So are you the referee and/or magistrate of this discussion or will you eventually be including your own considerations on the topic at hand?

Well I did put some considerations out there to see what others think.
I didn't plan 123 your out, it just came out that way. If you are entertained, good for you; I care not for ball games.

Just wondering, because it's a thing men have to go through in asking if someone is interested. It's awkward, but if you don't ask you don't get.

Women rarely ask a man, well for me at least anyway, short ugly old guys don't attract enquiries.

So just wondering.
I know some women get annoyed, but if they have no wedding ring or a fake one, and they're attractive to me, and I'm already talking to them, they're fair game to ask out if I have the guts to ask; usually I don't.

I don't go chasing randoms with pickup lines like a sleaze. They're the guys that give the rest of us a bad name.

So the ladies that don't want to be asked out even once - what's up with that ?
Unless you are LGBT etc. how is the human race supposed to procreate.
Do you not crave human contact ?

Enough...you are incapable to see clearly and walk

Too much...you are incapable to drive

Think and apply to your subject.

When I was young I’d have given a different answer but now I’ve matured a tad I’d say you’ll know for sure if she’s not interested.

I agree with Tom, every person is unique and so is each situation.
One thing I won’t do any more is chase women, like I said earlier, if I think she’s not interested then for me it ends right there.

once is enough unless there are extenuating circumstances

i might give it a while if for example she just broke up with the last guy

big stuff one strike is enough
the pleasure is never worth the pain

as for no tolerable long term that depends on what level of relationship it is:

happily ever after as soon as you know it's not
dating and stronger friendships or activity partner these go as long as the don't become inappropriate

When is it too much and when is enough?..
When it starts dripping from Her chin....
That's too much.... when she says no more no more and just wants to go to bed..
that's enough..

Easy peasy..

Ok.. even I'll admit my last post was just a little taste list...But . they all can't be grade A material folks .. sometimes you gotta take the easy shot..lol