Good point Pisces,
I've been thinking about this and here's another angle.
For the past few decades and the rise of women's rights I think the real man thing has had a hammering, at least here. The rise of feminists and anti male rolls in life has seen it demonised.
I'm all for equality as I've said before but as with other things ie gay and race issues it goes to far the wrong way. so do more women want a real man or an equal or even a lesser man, and the same vice versa? I see many profiles wanting "a real man or real woman "

I question or wonder if any of them even know what they mean by "real" when they say they want a "real man" or "real woman". I think that's what the OP is wondering about...how does one define "real". And who decides what constitutes a "real man" or "real woman".

It rubs me the wrong way because that statement or putting it in that context seems rather condescending. I certainly wouldn't want to be in the category of not being considered a "real woman" if I don't meet all the qualifications that one has to have to be considered "real".

I see what you're saying though, and that could have a lot to do with the attitudes and confusion.

Edited typos

This day and age of "reasoning" tends to cover up and obscure the definition of things like real men, real women, truth etc. to the point that it is almost impossible to find and understand these valuable virtues. It's easy to let the cloak of confusion "muddy the waters" to where truth is not visible anymore.

If there ever was a time when this country needs to be able, to define what truth is...it is now !!

If the definition of vastly important things like "real men" and "real women" can't be found...then what hope is there of ever obtaining them ?? If you can't define it, how can you find it... or know what to look for ??

It was a sad day when the "standards" and "absolutes" that made this country great, were pulled down and now every man and woman is encouraged to do what's right in their own eyes. With no "standard" to look up to, and keep us on track, it has become very easy to justify one's actions.

With that said, I do appreciate and thank all those who posted and would also encourage those who are watching this thread to venture their comments as well.

Hi montanaman, I hear what you're saying and you make good valid points.

However, the word "real" is really broad and subjective. I don't see it as a virtue. Integrity, honor, respect, trustworthy, and commitment...those are virtues.

I believe people do hold themselves up to standards of right and wrong, just that they have reassessed what that means to them, rather than following a set of guidelines created by the authority figures of the past and present.

Take for instance....Suppose you, as a child, considered your father a "real man". Only your father raised you to believe that it's okay to beat women and children...it's what "real men" do after all. Would you follow that standard, look up to it, and beat the woman and children in your life? Would you conform to that, or reassess and decide for yourself whether it's right or wrong?

Also, I'm curious to how you would define "real" when it comes to a man or woman? What are the attributes and virtues of a man or woman that make them "real" to you?

Maybe like James bond?

I don't think I've ever seen James Bond retreat. Weak, yes...but only when it comes to women

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Sceptical, I love what you said. Those are the attributes that I look for in a man as well.

Next big discussion: Who's more "real," James Bond, or any of John Wayne's movie roles?


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Sceptical "nails it" again.
Okay, guys, we now have something to strive for. (But notice she [and Piscesmoon] said "what to be" and not "how to be that.")

I just saw the meme about not making excuses for nasty people. That's like an advanced version of "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear."

Real men give their women 5 seconds advance warning when they are about to fart.

As far as acting goes....John Wayne all the way

As far as real life goes....neither...They are glorified persona's and give the world a false impression of what it means to be a man, imo.




Midcoast, I don't see the words "what to be" in anything sceptical or I said. I'm not understanding what you mean? Can you expand on that please.

Sorry for not being clearer on what I was referring to It was one post that Sceptical made, and you seemed to "strongly agree."


I don't know if either Bond or The Duke would qualify there, except for knowing Adam from Eve. (Although these days . . .
"Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world except for Lola
La-la-la-la Lola"

I don't know anyone named Lola.

Oh, I guess I should have clarified a little more as well. I don't so much agree that those attributes alone define a "real man". It's really difficult to define "real" and it's open to interpretation. I've made other posts here talking about my opinion of that particular word...I don't like it obviously, lol

Sceptical mentioned some attributes that I admire in men. Men who constantly want to fight are not attractive to me, so a man who knows when to retreat as well as when to fight, is. Same goes for being strong. Men who are not afraid to show weakness or express their feelings are more attractive to me than a man who's ego gets in the way of doing so. And relationships are about complimenting each other...not about making each other complete. So in that context, I love what she said.

Oh, and I agree about Bond and the Duke...that's why I said in real life neither are real. I love John Wayne as an actor, but wouldn't want to be with him in real life as he portrays himself on television.

At the risk of eating my words, I want someone more real, lol. Guess I'm understanding a little more about this word that seems to be bugging me. So looking at it from a different perspective, I guess I would define "real" as someone who is genuine. Someone who is true to who they really are. If you're sad, you don't pretend to be happy. And vise versa.

maybe when i get to be one of charlies angels too lol

^^^just beautiful and clear . i love it

and that one nailed the adam from eve

Thanks sceptical, I'm glad it made sense

i think how to become real is very different when one is real to oneself already...sort of like dr hekel and jekel lol. kidding aside we all do have different views for what is real or not and what is acceptable or unacceptable, it's whatever that floats our boat without getting anyone hurt sometimes the hardest part of the equation is being true to our own selves

made more than sense and i hope men had more sense too.

Beautifully said

thanks dear it would be a bonus if our "real" prince is reading this thread too

Yes it would