Some advice please. I have been seeing a guy for over a year and when I say I want the relationship to move to the next step, he says he does not want a relationship, but continues to try to see me. I am trying to stay away from him, but he continues to call, etc. It's hard because I really want to see him> Question is the age old question of how do I get him to commit? He says one thing, but does another. His signals are confusing.... Should I just move on or keep trying to make it work?

what is the next step..

Move On.

move on it doesnt seem to me, without know the whole facts that he isnt ready to commit, good luck to you

OMG your in the same situation I am!

The guy Im seeing loves spending time with me and being around me and we are still 'dating' but he has a commitment phobia. He says he doesnt want a relationship now or possibly ever. He also mentioned that it wasnt something I did but him. I continue to see him but I admit that I am looking other places and if it comes down to being w/ him or a guy that wants a relationship, Im gonna take the guy who wants the relationship and the guy Im seeing now understands that. But he also mentioned that he could change his mind in the future and possibly want a relationship...but Im not going to wait forever. I guess Im still with him because there is the possibility of more.

I really hope this helps you some.

Somtimes we are comfortable with what we have. If you really want a relationship, yet he doesnt dont give him time to think about it, its been a year time to move on.. Generally us men dont appreciate somthing until it is gone. If he wants you in his life he will have this chance, if he doesnt find someone you deserve

Wow, I was in the SAME situation not long ago and you should just move on unless it's that great and it's already basically a relationship...how important is the label to you compared to time you have together and the friendship you two have? And would he see or date or sleep with someone else?

You know, a committed relationship. I don't want to get married, but I want more of his time. He's very social and has a lot of friends. He tends to make plans with his friends that don't include me and I am supposed to be fine with that as we are not in a "relationship."

Commitment, is somthing men have, A boy is afriad to commit, or is lying to you using this as an excuse. Even then this is not manly but IF you want commitment, find it, with someone whos willing to give you just that. Dont settle for someone who doesnt want committment just becasue your comfortable with him

Thanks for the reply. He also says, "it's not you... it's me." I hate that line. It might really be his inability to commit, but it makes me still feel like it is me.

i would suggest give him an ultimatum..

You have reached a good point on this issue....

you cannot have a meaningful relationship unless both partners
want the same level of commitment.

move on and find the partner you really desire and
make him happy because he will desire you in the same way

you cannot make your current guy feel that way
so don't waste your time - difficult as this may be

move on for now

Find someone who WANTS a relationship with you. Why put yourself through this?

Another good point is this: If you continue to see him, its going to be harder to let him go in the long run.

I'm moving on. I deserve better. Thanks everyone for confirming what I already knew. He'll miss me :-) It's just that we have so much fun together. :-(

I was just going to say the same thing. After a year if he can't see how much he will MISS you...oh well, he will be sorry in the long run....

what else can you do but to move on ,doesnt seem like there is much you can do to change his mind ..

I was in the same situation and it drug out for 9 years, I could have had a lot more but I waited for him and now Im the one all alone. Dont wait to long hun... you do deserve more.

I have to agree. Now if only I can find someone... *sigh*