a matter of perception, for sure

there are many types of romantic commitments without a document of marriage

there are many relationships with a document of marriage that are not romantic commitments


What do you view as 'single'? IS it only a matter of legal marital status? Is it a matter of real time circumstances and commitments(even if they are only verbal)?


For me, I was a 'single' parent after my first marriage ended. That is to say, we both went our seperate ways, seperate homes, seperate lives, but HE remained an active Father to his son. In raising my child, I was not married, and was single, but I had a father to my son who was never NOT there for his son.



During my second marriage, I never got a legal divorce. Yet, he walked away when our daughter was only 1 years old. I have been on my own with my daughter and my network of family support. He contributes no support, has not seen her, does not even live in this country. The extent of his involvement is the occasional email or letter and gifts or money on christmas and birthdays.


I believe my son(in a 'single parent' family) had it much better than my daughter(of married parents).


I consider my son as having always had both parents and my daughter as only having me and my family.

I share all that to say, marital status should not hold all the significance when it comes to children being raised.

my children lived in a home of married parents until my wife passed away. so now it is a single parent home but not my choice just circumstances

Regardless the fact that some kids like my self are being raised far from their parent due to some life circumstances ...we should as well create time and better future plan for their well being !!! Children are gift from God and must be manage with tender care of high morals ..

This topic transcends the issue of child rearing within or outside the framework of legal marriage .

Child rearing /parenting goes far above and beyound biological or marriage ties


Heck. Ive seen god parents who have no romantic ties with the biological parent and no biological ties to the child, who have been more active in raising the child than some married and biological parents.

I truly applaud ANYONE who actively engages in raising a child , married or not , biological ties or not

I think you are a wonderful mom, Ms. Harmony.

ty Rosemary

hi i am so sorry about the passing of your wife i kinda share the same experience with you kid when my mom passed away and i was left alone with my dad

hallo

I take it that this is about marriage and it's significance, then, especially as regards children. I look at what I think you're saying from a slightly different angle, and what I see, is how LABELS by themselves, do not CREATE meaning.

One of the subtle but important things that we are better off to learn, is to get the order right, when it comes to how we organize our understanding of our civilization. People put labels on things, kind of like putting handles on them, so that they can deal with each concern more efficiently. When it comes to the marriage label, that was invented by a number of different people for very different reasons, and is still used in different ways, even though it's only one word.

From the most obnoxious point of view, marriage is a government "handle." It allows the people as a society (whether in a formal structured government, or just a local gossip-driven cluster of everyone) to segregate or associate two people with each other, and with their responsibilities and privileges in the society. From the more human-as-critter point of view, marriage represents real, very personal commitment, both to the mate, and to the offspring.

Those two aspects are entirely separate, as we all often see or experience. Some people marry, and it's all about the church and the veil and the rings and the public performances, for others it's very intimate and transcendent, and the label is secondary to the fact that it gives an entirely different shape and structure to their entire lives.

I will never blame or praise anyone, just because they have had a LABEL stuck on them like a bumper sticker. But I will hold them to whatever vows which they CLAIM to be making, when they take any label on, especially the label of parent.

I would expect no less of you Igor

I just wonder why there are so many double messages in our culture

on the one hand, there are so many studies and stats on how many more obstacles and how much 'worse' children of 'unwed' mothers have it

,,,making me think we value the importance of children being in a home where there parents are married




but on the other hand, we also seem to value women being 'independent' enough to not 'need' men, even when they have children and we hold that marriage legally should not really be about what the children produced might need but about what the adults 'want'...



..but we are one of many cultures with inconsistent 'standards'

Mainly because our culture isn't unified, and never has been. It took me a long time myself, to realize that there are LOTS of would-be spokespeople for everything from universal morality, to what we're all supposed to think is funny.

Add to that, that for every person who actually gains any kind of a following for their "leadership," there are eager people trailing along with them, pretending to be avid followers, but only in order to personally profit from using the whateveritis to enrich themselves.

And of course, there are lots of people who do what I call "learning to say the words, without ever really grasping the full meaning." The reason THOSE folks appear to contradict themselves all the time, is that they do. And the reason why they can't see that they are doing it, is because they didn't understand the message they decided to get self-righteous about to begin with.

In the world of caring for children, there are many MANY cases where people with truly good INTENTIONS, end up doing truly horrible things to children. Essentially, it's like that old saying about babies in the bathwater. Some people get so riled up about the bathwater being dirty, they forget why it is, and heave it off the cliff, babies and all.

I can't give you my opinion on this because I was an active daddy in a stable marriage. It wasn't till the kids were grown that I finally said enough.
I do come from a broken family but that was not my doing and completely out of my control.

I have opinions on the subject but they are not founded on experience, only on expectation. Since I'll never be a single parent, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Being a parent WOW what a huge responsibility and Job I have been a struggling single parent for 12y and I have total respect for all you single parents out there especially you who have more than one kid. I love my job as a parent and my kid is amazing and wonderful life is good and we are happy and loving it. Rock On!!!

I admire you Sis.. I know you're a good mom and for sure both of your kids grew up well because of you.. because you're there on their side

Single or married, it doesn't matter as long as you are responsible and good..