Everyone who's looking for a partner is looking for the one, Mr or Mrs Right so to speak. No one wants another A-hole or Drama Queen.
But are you really ready for him/her? Mostly ppl are so focused on finding them that they could forget that in order to find them, you got to be ready too.

For instance,
-are you able and willing to make a commitment?
-Are you able to communicate in a healthy way, or do you easily slip into the 'finger pointing' routine? Never take responsibility, start screaming and shouting à la Drama Queen or withdraw in your mancave?
-Can you not just give love, but also receive it? Really receive it? Be honest now, most can't open their heart because of past hurts and pains.
-Are you able and willing to make space for a partner in your life? Have you even thought about the fact that you have to make space for them? Both in time, but also energetically.
-Are you still holding on to angst and fear -be honest!- which you may end up projecting on the other?

Are you maybe so focused on finding them that you have forgotten reality, what it takes to not just find them, but to also keep them and live happily ever after?

On a scale of 1 - 10... how ready are you?
10 = totally ready.
1 = not so ready yet

10 i am very ready

8 - im not 100% sure I'm ready

Probably an 8.. after being on my own for 19 years there is a bit of doubt but my thoughts are mostly that I would like to be with someone compatible.

used to be 9 now an 8

My Mrs. Right died nearly 7 years ago (making me a widower).

Now, I am trying to avoid a Miss Stake.

1

Good topic Crystal!

8.5 ready. Still a little stuck on the receiving part. I would like to say I have dealt with all my past hurts, and have worked through a lot, but it's difficult to know for sure unless you are in a relationship. I do know that even as a small child, the receiving part has always been a challenge.

You make a really good point here!
I thought I was as good as totally ready, although I knew stuff would come up after 10 yrs with a narcissist. And boy, did/does stuff come up, haha.
You can indeed underestimate it when you're not in a relationship yet.

I think I go back and forth between 8-10. Or 7-10 maybe even. To me 10 is being able to maintain an interdependent relationship, and that's where I want to be, and often I am, but I cannot always hold on to that vibe just yet.

Hug David

Thank you.

Thank you everyone so far for your honesty!

Another take on this idea: in a way, there's no such thing as "ready," and in a way, we're always "ready." The person who will do well with me, for example, will be someone who understands the bits of me that aren't "ready" or are still damaged from times past (perhaps because of their own history), and will love me as I am, in all my defective glory.


In a way, "ready" is an entirely relative thing. I'm a ten in the readiness scale for one kind of person, a five for others, and a zero for yet others.

8 I am ready but cautious.

No such thing as ready.
Just how willing you are to adapt to a new situation, demand others adapt to you and what you want, or demand more equal reciprocity.


Only if I'm well informed, according to how I determine well informed.


Communication doesn't have to be healthy if it's compatible.
Some people are more comfortable with "unhealthy" communication.
That might be what is making them "Mr./Mrs. Right," their "normal" may be unhealthy communication.
So...maybe.


You don't give or receive love, you communicate it.
So what you're asking here is "can you not just communicate your love, but are you willing to learn and accept how they communicate theirs?"

See answer above. People learn to communicate through their experience.
Sometimes different experiences shape people in similar ways, to associate and understand things in similar ways, so communication (expression, and understanding/feedback) are similar, seemingly "built in," highly compatible.

So...maybe.


Most people can't open their heart to new and not understood methods of communication because of past hurts and pains...or ego, or intelligence, or values, or all sorts of reasons.
But most people, that haven't completely isolated themselves from everyone, have built in "back doors," where people who communicate in certain ways can get through naturally.

Most have a world view of how things are, how things will be, how things should be, how things could be, how things might be, and a lot is taken for granted. The more natural things are taken for granted, the more that is just defining a limited pool of natural communication compatibility.


Space, time, and energy are 3 different things.
There are no savings accounts for any of them.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
So...maybe.


"Which you may end up?"
Means someone "may not."
So, doesn't really matter if I/they do or don't.


5.
With an error of +/- 5.

Sorry to hear that

How can we really enumerate Hope and Dreams, readiness is a transparent idea or feeling, you do not know till it hit you. Then is up to both to see it through.

Probably an 8 and leaning back toward a 7. Yea I could toss some stuff and slip back into an equally yoked kind of deal without a lot of chaffing. But I also know at this stage of life that I have gotten real used to doing things on my own and my way and the kind of man I am attracted to is also so would still not just be something overnight even if it was what we want.

I'm going to go with a strong 9

I can't rate something that can't be quantified - More information is needed to even take a guess.

I know that I am who I am from my own experiences in the past, both good and bad.
I know you are who you are from your experiences in the past both good and bad.

Experience grants wisdom when a lesson is learned. I still have lessons to be learned.

Can I accept others as they are at this moment? Yes.
Can I accept myself for who I am at this moment? Yes.

If she is in control of her emotions and understands herself and still chooses to love me then I can afford her the same. Our wisdom defines us. Wisdom is built on experience. If I choose to gain wisdom from my experience with her and she chooses the same with me, we can have continuity.

I seek and am prepared to offer back:
Emotional Maturity
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Stability