ENOUGH!!!
Enough whining and moaning about how you are not loved by anyone here.

Do you really think that by putting your name and face on an internet dating website that your inbox is going to be overflowing by the end of the day?

After all if you were that much of a magnetic personality, why the hell are you looking here?

So, I have had enough of the whining and whinging, and *****ing about it, I am gonnna run some self improvement classes.

Anyone is invited to attend. They are free and I will be my usual tolerant self with anyone who feels sorry for themselves without reason.

Creative Suffering
Overcoming Peace of Mind
Guilt without Sex
The Primal Shrug
Ego Gratification through Masturbation
Holding your Child's Attention through Guilt and Fear
Dealing with Post Self-realization Depression
Whine and Whimper Your Way to Alienation.
These are Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays.

Now we have some people on here with no money,or are too skinflint to go dating.
So, here, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I am running

Money Can Make You Rich
Tawkin' Good: How to Improve Your Spitch and Get a More Betterer Payn' Job (this is really good if you moan a lot about other peoples spelling)
I Made £100 in Real Estate
Career Opportunities in The Falkland Islands
Under-Achiever's Guide to Very Small Business Opportunities
Filler Phrases for Thesis Writers
Tax Shelters for the Indigent
Looters Guide to American Cities

Now, with singls parents in mind .. I know you need to get out more, and you feel that no one appreciates you ... well I am here to tell you, that you are right!
They dont care.
But especially for you,I have designed these courses, to be run on Sunday evenings after the kids are in bed;

How to Convert Your Family Room into a Rabbit Run
How to Cultivate Viruses in your Refrigerator
Basic Kitchen Taxidermy
Sinus Drainage at Home
101 Other Uses for Your Vacuum Cleaner
How to Convert Your Wheelchair into a Dune Buggy.

There are a few medical personnel on the site, and I am sure they will welcome the idea that you need more exercise. This has to be a primary reason why you are so god-dammed miserable!
So, this set is for Monday evenings, Saturday afternoons so that you and your fat, lazy-arsed self csnt watch the sport on the tv.

Creative Tooth Decay
Exorcism and Belly-Button Lint
The Joys of Hypochondria
Suicide and Your Health
Bio-feedback and How to Stop It
Skate Your Way to Regularity
Tap Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule
Optional Body Functions

So, some on people, is it really necessary to moan about your lot?

There are people out there that have got it really bad and all you want to do is be self centred and a miserable ****.

Save it ... we dont want to hear it, and we really dont give a ****!
If you have a genuine problem, then we love you and we will try to help you, if you havent, then get off the ****ing pot, so we can all have a piss!

Brought to you by the socially acceptable face of tolerance!
Our motto?
Sympathy is between **** and syphillis in the dictionary!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENCORE!!! ENCORE!!!!!

May I sign up for the Primal Shrug,
The Overcoming Piece/Peace of Mind

And a crash course in Optional Body Functions please??

how much is the ego gratification through masturbation course???

WTH?

No course on How to Wear Sunglasses, A Wife Beater and 20 Pounds of Gold Chains So People Think You're a Mac Daddy/Daddy Mac?!?

I'm so disappointed.

i second the masterbation class!

(insert serious cat here) Sorry, I had to do it once more before bed. Goodnight! (btw, the irony here is my initials are CAT, so I guess I AM serious cat... hmmmm....)

these I got covered
ego gratification through masturbation-nobody can f*ck me like I can.

how to cultivate virus' in your refrigerator-it told me if I could snatch this ham and jelly sandwich it was time for me to leave.

basic kitchen taxidermy-combined a potato and an artichoke and made a chicken.


101 uses for your vacuum-it tickles

No body wants my favourite ... Guilt without Sex?

haha I was just about to sign up for that one!!!

Gotta be a bad catholic girl for that one ...

Tap Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule <---Yup. Fun. Sign me up!

Cool ... we have a few willing volunteers.

But none of the whiney-ar5ed people have admitted they are in need of a bit of Dunky-education

can i get into this one The Joys of Hypochondria ?i could use some tips there...

if you need another teacher,i think i could teach this one Ego Gratification through Masturbation

I swear someone posted the exact same thing yesterday. Same title and all. You 2 should hook up.

hows about "uses of pity and how to get sex using a good hard luck story"

I'm sorry, that was pretty whiney if you ask me...

Lets whine about people whining! People like to express how they feel here, and if you don't like it don't read it.

Belushi---I would like to teach the course in Creative Suffering, pro bono.

pot, kettle....anyone?