I don't know if Im being too simple minded , but I never feel confused if someone is saying one thing , but doing something contrary.

Consistent action is always what I look for to determine a person's true feelings and intentions .So if I get consistent words without consistent action, I define (and dismiss)the disparity as insincerity . Not mixed signals.

But maybe its a lot more complex than the way I perceive it.

Do you struggle with the mixed signals you receive from others?

How do you respond when it happens?

Very true. I think actions speak louder than words. Online...post speak louder lol

I am a very straight forward person. When I receive mixed signals I call them out on it. It usually means the end of the date but that is fine with me

I beg to differ...
I've been there where I took the actions for truth, not the words, and in the end I was wrong. The words he said were true, not his actions. Actions can be easily misinterpreted, oftentimes more easily so than words.

Example: a guy telling you he doesn't feel it for you. Pretty straightforward. Yet you may look at his actions and see love and care nonetheless and think it is safe to continue. That he will come around and get to see what he is exuding. Then find out shortly thereafter that he did mean what he said, in spite of the actions.

Not sure I ever get any.
They want it.
I have it.
Seems simple to me.

Do you take coupons like me? Lol

There are limits and caveats to everything, even what seems to be straightforward. But in the main, I am with you entirely.

The thing about matching words and deeds can seem tricky sometimes. Cultural differences that result in the words having different meanings is obvious. The sneaky one that I've seen cause problems, is when someone thinks that certain words and meanings are IMPLIED, when someone commits certain actions.

It's mildly amusing, but the main reason why I came to love writing, and to work so hard to express myself clearly, is entirely because of exactly this area of difficulty. Between the games played by politicians and salesmen, and the tricks fellow humans played on me to get away with things at my cost, making sure that everyone is on the same page, became one of my primary causes.

I know right??? Lol

^^^^^

Scars from the past can often influence our actions so that they don't quite marry with our words

I was once told that insanity is unpredictable and inconsistent.
Consistency establishes predictability.
Consistency requires duration to be predictable.

Mixed signals can be perceived or demonstrated.

A consistent pattern must first be established.
If the pattern becomes unpredictable it is perceived as mixed signals.
It is not mixed signals if no pattern has been established.
Patterns require repetition.



Struggle?, No.
If there has been no consistent pattern to establish predictability I see it as expression failure.
However, I sometimes don't pick up on mixed signals because I am dense.
Probably why I never seem to notice when I am being flirted with.



If I notice it. My first response is to ask about it.
You say this but you do this, why is that?
When I get the answer, my gullibility makes me accept their answer as truth. I operate on the aspect that people know what they say and mean it.

I'm guilty of giving off mixed signals unintentionally. I demonstrate love but rarely get excited about it. The acts of love I show are very serious to me but I tend to minimize the efforts if asked about them.

If I get her some flowers because she loves them and I want her to be happy and she makes a big deal out of it I am more likely to respond with a "meh", a wave of my hand and a subject change than explain the true reason.

I find that lots of people disregard mixed signals.
I actually tested this at work once.
All day long whenever I said yes I shook my head no and when I said no I nodded. It was hard to do but it resulted in no affirmation of the mixed signal from anyone. I actually expected someone to say something but nobody did?
The next day I asked and nobody even noticed. At least that's what they admitted...
Have you ever seen anyone do that? Did you take notice? Did you say something?

Now, take someone that always nods their head when they disagree. At first, it may look like a mixed signal but if it is their habit and over time you realize this, it really isn't a mixed signal, it is your perception that was wrong. That person is just being themselves.

If you date someone a few times for a few hours everytime and you think they are putting out mixed signals it might just be that you have not had the duration to establish predictability. If they are consistent in their signals you might just be misreading them as mixed signals.

Yeah krissy. Once I ask a few questions about the disparity and things arent adding up, Im hapoy to move on

A decent discount never hurts.

Depends on the signals.
Depends on the context.
Depends on the consequences of the mixed signals.
Some I struggle with, some I welcome, some don't matter.


Different ways.
- respond with my own mixed signals.
- respond with a clear cut response signal for a reciprocating response to compare.
- filter it through personal bias.
- ask questions.
- discount or ignore it.
- move on from it and deal with the consequences, either accepting culpability, or pushing blame to them, which might require greater communication work for future interaction.
- deconstruct it.
- deconstruct it to compare it to a larger concept.
- file it away for later.
- directly address the ambiguous, dissonant, or contrast of the signal.
- shift perspectives to see if it's just mixed from my perspective and consistent from theirs.
- cogitate upon it behind a facade of normalcy.
- tease them about it, not take it seriously.

Just depends.

I respect your personal experience crystal, and certainly there are exceptions to the rule as with everything. But I think in general, if a man 's actions are conveying love but his words are saying he doesnt love me, I think for the most part I can sense if he is happy with me and emotionally present in journey with me , as opposed to merely caring for me.

I am in no way dismissing your personal experience. I perceive it as real and an exception to the rule

Voila! Easy -peazy

I agree Igor. Assuming meanings can be very misleading but thats why we take time to learn people's language , nuances and idiosychrosies. ( I Know. Wrong spelling lol ) Thats the only way we can read people's words and actions woth some degree of accuracy.

^^This!

I empathise with scars . We all have them but if there is no synergy between our good intentions, our words and our actions, then to me, the outcome is no different than if the person was insincere. Good intentions can only take people so far.

I guess , the response I gave to Igor seems fitting for your contrinbuution as well tom.

Assuming meanings can be very misleading but thats why we take time to learn people's language , nuances and idiosychrosies. ( I Know. Wrong spelling lol ) Thats the only way we can read people's words and actions with some degree of accuracy.

Yeah Lu .

I really cant figure out how else you can really understand a person :)