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| Topic: Do You Believe in.Romantic Deadlines? | |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 03/20/17 09:23 AM
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I believe, from experience, once you have a long established friendship with someone it becomes very awkward to pursue anything more unless you both have long unspoken feelings for each other. Even in that instance, unless the timing has always been off, I believe it is still weird. Two people who've had feelings for each other for years or decades and haven't acted on the feelings? There is social dysfunction going on in that scenario... However, normally, it is one or the other that is harboring romantic illusions about the other. I totally get where you are coming from watetloosunset. Im divided on the issue personally. Theoretically I believe that love has no timelines . But sometimes even when two friends who like each other are single ,.both parties seem to fumble around without anyone actually making an official move. The root of that impasse might be fear of losing the friendship or it could be an unspoken feeling that they are not quite the right fit for each other romantically ,but sometimes those underlying thoughts feel like a self imposed forcefield that blocks any romantic possibilities from entering in |
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hi
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hi
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... sure why can't two friends fall in love... a lot of times it's just a matter of looking at each other through different glasses so to speak... We normally don't look at or friends in a romantic sexual way... But if you do that and you do find yourself falling in love with them then great... Love Is Love no matter where you find it So I guess you dont beliefe there is a limited window of time for that magical transition of friendship to romance? But you really need to feel that you are no longer in the friend zone.. myself if I feel romantic towards someone.. it's usually when I first meet them.... if I'm not attracted to you I'm probably not going to become attracted to you.... I might develop deeper feelings and respect for you.. Admiration... but I'm either attracted to you or I'm not..yup... |
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.. well with that above being said if the two of us go out drinking and we get a little too tipsy....well.. you can't blame a guy he has needs and you can't blame the woman she has needs as well..... and I am kind of Awesome..
Really hard to resist especially if you've been drinking a little bit..wink. |
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If neither person in a friendship makes the first move to forge a romantic bond with each other withiñ a certain time frame, do you think the people are forever confined to the friend zone? Or do you think that once both frirnds remain single, there is always possibility for romance between.them? 1...you must like them or you would not be asking ... I say if you are interested in more then friendship ... talk to them for get the friend zone ... 2... do you think that once both friends remain single... communication is what you both need ... don't be afraid to ask or talk to them ... becouse this is what your relationship is with them and you can not walk on eggs your whole relationship ... if this is something you would like ...your wasting time ... when you both could be romantically involved... I have had 2 longterm friendships that fell apart becausevof unrequited romantic feelings. If both friends are sending out strong vibes that the feelings are mutual , its easier to navigate I think. But when one confesses their feelings snd is left with an awkward silence from the other person who doesnt feel the same, the friendship can become a very uncomfortable space. Its a judgment call people have to make after weighing the consequences. But ideally mystical, you are right. Friends should be able to communicate with each other |
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I'd have to agree with no1phD on this topic. He is awesome! I digress lol.
If I do find a woman attractive, it's almost always on our initial meeting. I won't necessarily act upon it on that occasion but I know what I like when I see it. She might well put paid to my attraction to her with opinions, attitude etc that I might find unattractive. Or I might blow it with traits that might be undesirable to her. C'est la vie. |
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If neither person in a friendship makes the first move to forge a romantic bond with each other withiñ a certain time frame, do you think the people are forever confined to the friend zone? Or do you think that once both frirnds remain single, there is always possibility for romance between.them? 1...you must like them or you would not be asking ... I say if you are interested in more then friendship ... talk to them for get the friend zone ... 2... do you think that once both friends remain single... communication is what you both need ... don't be afraid to ask or talk to them ... becouse this is what your relationship is with them and you can not walk on eggs your whole relationship ... if this is something you would like ...your wasting time ... when you both could be romantically involved... I have had 2 longterm friendships that fell apart becausevof unrequited romantic feelings. If both friends are sending out strong vibes that the feelings are mutual , its easier to navigate I think. But when one confesses their feelings snd is left with an awkward silence from the other person who doesnt feel the same, the friendship can become a very uncomfortable space. Its a judgment call people have to make after weighing the consequences. But ideally mystical, you are right. Friends should be able to communicate with each other |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 03/20/17 10:01 AM
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Edited by
Integrityis1st
on
Mon 03/20/17 10:50 AM
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No.
I agreed with what you edited and hopefully we are not on here to put anyone down. I know that is not my intention, although my humor and lack of writing skills might send the wrong message. 
 I posted this in this in the wrong thread.
This response was for self editing. 
My response to this one is still no. |
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If neither person in a friendship makes the first move to forge a romantic bond with each other withiñ a certain time frame, do you think the people are forever confined to the friend zone? Or do you think that once both frirnds remain single, there is always possibility for romance between.them? I don't see how you would want to forge a romantic something with a friend? Whenever I get involved with someone, it's clear from the word go that it isn't a friend, but a new budding romance/relationship. Maybe sometimes a friendship blossoms into more, but generally speaking it doesn't work that way around. You meet someone, you feel something, a buzz, butterflies in your gut, your heart is racing, your knees get weak. There's something that tells you there's a connection that isn't friendship. If I don't feel that with someone, there's not going to be anything more either. I don't believe in friendship and then trying to wring something more out of it. It's there or it isn't. And if it's there, it's there from the word go. There's the exception to the rule, but that's exactly that: an exception. There are actually lots of exceptions to the rule in this case crystal as many people have been in friendships where after years of being platonic, current unexpectedly flows and the unthinkable happens. As someone once explained it to me, after years of working and hanging out together, a dance at a club got unexpectedly steamy. The woman said she looked up at her friend and suddenly he didnt feel like her brother anymore! I do agree as you and waterloo sunset suggested that many of these types of relationships dont work out. The transition is way too complicated after all. But for the scenarios that do workbout, i dont think its forced. Its very organic and seems to oiled and fueled by the natural forces of timing |
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... sure why can't two friends fall in love... a lot of times it's just a matter of looking at each other through different glasses so to speak... We normally don't look at or friends in a romantic sexual way... But if you do that and you do find yourself falling in love with them then great... Love Is Love no matter where you find it So I guess you dont beliefe there is a limited window of time for that magical transition of friendship to romance? But you really need to feel that you are no longer in the friend zone.. myself if I feel romantic towards someone.. it's usually when I first meet them.... if I'm not attracted to you I'm probably not going to become attracted to you.... I might develop deeper feelings and respect for you.. Admiration... but I'm either attracted to you or I'm not..yup... Yes. I do think thats the way it works for most people, but there are definitely exceptions to the rule. With the friends who have experienced this, the romantic or sexual feelings usually take yhem both by surprise lol |
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Are you publicly terminating our impending engagement 2em? 
I.also know couples like the one you described but I also know of more couples where one person has more feelings than the other or they are not feeling similar feelings at the same time , leading to an awkward impasse between them. What are your thoughts about that? Maybe.... maybe not...
Someone once told me that you might find the right partner for you at the right time but you might not be the right partner for them at that time... So have patience and enjoy your friendships and if one of them blooms into something more, enjoy that as well... 
I totally agree....  
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 03/20/17 10:57 AM
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I'd have to agree with no1phD on this topic. He is awesome! I digress lol. If I do find a woman attractive, it's almost always on our initial meeting. I won't necessarily act upon it on that occasion but I know what I like when I see it. She might well put paid to my attraction to her with opinions, attitude etc that I might find unattractive. Or I might blow it with traits that might be undesirable to her. C'est la vie. With one of my exes , we were friends for about 7 months before actually going out on a date. I felt zero attraction for him in that 7 months ,.and I felt nothing the first time he kissed me. After about a month of dating , the chemistry kinda came out of nowhere lol I know the pace of my experience was unconveñtional, but thats just how it worked out for me . Doubt it will happen to me like that again though lol |
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Edited by
lu_rosemary
on
Mon 03/20/17 10:55 AM
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It's different for me, I first believe in friendship..always have, always will and I know it takes a lot of patience, time and not only for two people to really bond and make it durable.
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No. I agreed with what you edited and hopefully we are not on here to put anyone down. I know that is not my intention, although my humor and lack of writing skills might send the wrong message.
I posted this in this in the wrong thread.
This response was for self editing.
My response to this one is still no. Omg integrity. You had me scrolling all the pages of this thread trying to understand what you were saying lol. Thanks for clearing that up :) |
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Are you publicly terminating our impending engagement 2em?
I.also know couples like the one you described but I also know of more couples where one person has more feelings than the other or they are not feeling similar feelings at the same time , leading to an awkward impasse between them. What are your thoughts about that? Maybe.... maybe not...
Someone once told me that you might find the right partner for you at the right time but you might not be the right partner for them at that time... So have patience and enjoy your friendships and if one of them blooms into something more, enjoy that as well...
I totally agree....
Long time , no see Twin!. Hope yiu re goid!
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It's different for me, I first believe in friendship..always have, always will and I know it takes a lot of patience, time and not only for two people to really bond and make it durable. I agree witg you lu! Whether the attraction is instant or not, i like to take my time with developing a friendship. The guys who pursue me hate that about me though.
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It's different for me, I first believe in friendship..always have, always will and I know it takes a lot of patience, time and not only for two people to really bond and make it durable. I agree witg you lu! Whether the attraction is instant or not, i like to take my time with developing a friendship. The guys who pursue me hate that about me though.
We both have friends.. for friendship.. |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 03/20/17 01:21 PM
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It's different for me, I first believe in friendship..always have, always will and I know it takes a lot of patience, time and not only for two people to really bond and make it durable. I agree witg you lu! Whether the attraction is instant or not, i like to take my time with developing a friendship. The guys who pursue me hate that about me though.
We both have friends.. for friendship.. I get what you are saying Doc , but what I learned is that for the first 6 months , people are often guilty of putting on airs and graces to impress the person they are interested in, but when dating is taken off the table , I tend to get a glimpse of the authentic person alot sooner because in a friendship. people are generally more relaxed and less scripted :). |
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