I have exchanged messages with a few guys, who than suggested we talk on the phone and have given me their phone number. I always message back that I am cautions and will not give my phone or email out to someone I have not met.

Thoughts, suggestions from the community??

Yup.. better safe than sorry..
If they don't live in my city no phone number
And I will keep them online or at least a few days to make sure there are crazy..oops not crazy.

Yes living in fear is a sad way to experience people. I respect your right to avoid learning how to manage your feelings and lose out on better social skills which would perhaps enable you to actually meet and connect...

Standard dating site forum advice for this situation is usually:
- meet in person in the middle of the day at a Starbuck's or some crowded place.
The point is to set up a "meet cute" to determine if you want to actually date.
Talk is cheap, and that's all you get until you actually meet.

- get a burner phone you pay for with cash, no ties to your credit cards or name.

- Or get a disposable phone number on your phone. Download a call/text app that allows you to work through the app and assigned number rather than your "real" phone number.

- just block your number from showing up by using *67 before dialing their number.

everyone is different leein

I believe the majority who reach out in mail are wanting almost exclusively to 'meet' someone, and sooner than later

that is their prerogative but if it isn't your goal or primary interest, (it is not mine either) , I agree that giving out the number is an unnecessary risk


email allows you to control the communication much better,,,in my opinion

I do not own a cell phone, because I want no one feeling 'entitled' to my time whenever they call

you still have to leave me a message on the land line, and that's my prerogative,,,,



that's all to say,, its a matter of having matching goals and perogatives



I am a very slow mover on account of being on my own so long now, I much prefer the safe, no odd silences, communication of email

and I prefer to have communicated A LOT before all the in person or potentially constant on the phone stuff

I would not do it that soon hun.
A scammer can't wait to get you offline to set
their agendas in motion.
You are on your own there.

Hold out for real.
And as for vetting get them to chat in the forums,
these guys will tear them a new one if they
are too fake :-)

Well, okay to be cautious. I always have been too. But what strikes me as odd... you are inclined to meet rather than give an email?? So you are more protective of your email than of yourself??
Sorry, doesn't make sense. Not one bit...

Get another email, Gmail, or whatever especially for dating sites. You don't have to use your normal one. You can create tons of email addresses.

And not sure about where you live, but you can use a prefix -or whatever you call it in English- before you dial so he can't see your phone number.
Phoning is a great way to find out if you can keep a convo going and actually have enough interest to meet. Best is to always phone before you meet.
Of course not after 2 messages. THere's got to be more. Substance to the exchange. Beyond the "how many kids do you have" and "What do you do for a living?"

Fine line between cautious and not living. You gotta take some risk in life. And if it turns out to be an a-hole, you just stick him on a blacklist so he can't phone nor text no more. Not so difficult really.

Or... get a prepaid phone card for dating purposes. Problem solved.

What I did way back when I first came to the Internet was make a throwaway email account had absolutely nothing about me in it.
When I was really comfortable I would send them there and do video chat before I ever decided to do a meet and greet.

A GF of mine has one of those throwaway phones she uses for meet and greets to maintain a bit of safety.