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| Topic: Chuck Norris facts | |
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Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's. |
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice!
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of him! |
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Chuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.
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Most children check their closet for the boogey man before they go to sleep...the boogey man checks his closet for chuck norris before he sleeps...lol
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris Knows the Last digit of Pi <--THAT one is mine.. LOL... |
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According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
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There is an acient legend of a man that was born of the ashes from the burning fires of a dragons breath. This man was to rise above all evil and save humanity from certain destruction. This legend never was achieved because Chuck Norris killed that man.
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roflmfaowsmp...
Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking |
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his pen1s.
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Chuck Norris was not born like most children. He round house kicked his way out of his mothers womb.
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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to ..... every girl in the stadium. |
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Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
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If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, feels like chicken, and Chuck Norris says it's beef, then IT'S BEEF!
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. |
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Chuck Norris once ate a bad cheese burger at McDonalds. So he tracked down the president of the company, and round house kicked his secretary in the face so hard that she released her bowels onto the office floor. He then force fed the McDolands president the entire mess. This meal is now considered a delicacy in certain parts of the world, and can be found in certain McDonalds establishments under the name "McNorris".
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Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
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the only reason we have night lites is because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
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lmfao why is waldo hiding
The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. |
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