It's been almost 3 years since I was divorced - so I'm thinking perhaps it's time to enjoy a woman's company again. Having been married for my entire adult life, I was genuinely unsure what to expect on a dating site. But no worries! I've already gotten a mail from a 28 year old hottie my first day here... wow, and she looks like a model - auspicious start! Yeah, right... I just know this is obviously on the level and she desires my 59 year old butt. Duh! Probably some bald guy in his basement with a great scam plan. (No, I didn't bother to email back.)

Found this "50 and over" forums - Yay! I sort of expected to find some flirting or ??? I don't know really what I expected to find - but not so many snarky comments. A lot of people seem downright irritated and I'm wondering if this is 'future Me' after I've beaten my head on the Mingle2 virtual wall for a few months. Hmmm. Maybe it's just the random threads I happened to read - I refuse to be dissuaded yet!

Anyway... Hello Folks! (*sound of can of worms being opened*) Any helpful advice on getting the most out of Mingle?

you are right to be suspicious of ANYONE, regardless of age, that wants to jump into knowing you or, who has a pic that is a "hottie" as it is probably one of the camsex girls looking to drag you over to their cam site......just bring your credit card
it is easy to verify if someone is actually the person in the pic. if you dont know how to do that, drop me a message and I can help you with that. it is as simple as them posting a certain pic
also if you are on these sites to meet a nice gal to date, try using a few different sites and expand the number of people you meet
but mostly, take the time to get to know someone before you get too attached to them in the heart as it is so easy for someone to say they are a certain way online and then you meet them and find out it is just not that way
good luck to you and if you would be willing to settle for meeting a good person who is not here to date, feel free to drop me a line
smiles to you from Montana
please send me warm weather lol

Thanks! I send you a message, as I'm curious to your method.

2017 - the year of the snarky. LOL. Kinda hit the nail with that term. Good luck.

It seems to me over time that the ones who actually
meet others use the forums to vet them by getting
to know them here and not off-line.

Who they really are is revealed within their posts.
This can be very helpful, as you can go back and
read someone's old posts with a click (Posts#:xxx
beneath their forum pics) to find out about them.

To verify a picture, right-click it and the drop-down
menu will offer 'Copy Link' (Windows10) you then click
on Google (or TinEye) and paste what you copied.
(Click on 'Images' on Google, then a camera will appear
in the text box, click that and it will prompt for
the copied URL you have ready to paste.)

It will show where the picture appears and who it is
on the Internet.

Welcome and enjoy :-)

Welcome BrentFL

You are in good hands with mthippie.

Perhaps you should take a few minutes to complete your profile
to show you are seriously looking.

You might also want to set your mail preferences here
https://mingle2.com/inbox/filters

Follow mthippie's advice and you'd be ok.

I just noticed soufiehere's post above mine.. you can never go wrong with soufie's advice.

Have fun and be safe.

2017 The Year of the Snarky™ (trademarked by justme659)

Vetting someone via their previous posts is a great idea, soulfie. I'll have to remember that one for future use. I was aware of using Google images in the way you mentioned and I've done that before. I was curious if mthippie was going to say that method - but she had a different approach for fakes. She was super helpful and my first "friend" on here. Yay!

I gotta say - I'm amazed by the post counts of you last three ladies that commented. Wow! I doubt I have that kind of tenacity. My hat is off to you all with that many posts and still not jaded! Well done!

And you're right, mzrosie - I should finish my profile. It's my first day - so I get some slack, right?

Thanks for the welcome, folks. Have a good rest of your day.

p.s. Got my 2nd fake hottie scammer message already. "She" wanted my cell phone number, so we could talk more privately. Lol. Suuuuuuure. Uh-huh.

snark snark snark

welcome to the site

snark snark

Thanks for the welcome. Btw, great post numbers for you, too, motowndowntown... this place must have something going for it to keep you coming back for that many years. Amazing.

p.s. Not sure what you meant by your username - but I love a lot of motown era music. Have a good one.

Welcome to the community!

I've been here a lil while longer than you and have found a pattern or two in the contacts I have had from all those luscious ladies. My age preferences are a full 10 year span at 5 younger and 5 older yet I seem to be attracting 20-30 year olds. Its the first thing I look at. When I found out about the contact restrictions I got less of those messages.

I must warn you tho. I have contacted two women that were in the right age range and in my local vicinity and one just wanted to text and refused to answer when I called to talk. The other answered and was a woman but she was always too busy to talk and claimed she would call me back but never has.

So, my advice to you is to use this message system until you are absolutely sure about who you are contacting. Scammers are pretty easy to figure out but the real ones that just want to play games are tough.

That being said, the community forums are a wonderful place to gauge someone's personality. Just be consistent with your replies. As for posting new topics, I still have a bit of work to do to try to figure out what people want to talk about. My topics don't really get much discussion.

Keep in mind that your profile is going to be ever-changing. We don't normally snap pictures of ourselves but try to keep your main picture as recent as possible. Use the 'other' pics to show other 'looks' so she has an idea of your grooming habits.

People change as they go thru life. Your profile should change as you discover new interesting things about yourself. It is important to edit your profile again and again. If you really like what you have but want to change it, you can always post a copy of it in the welcome message for safe keeping (or keep it in a notepad offline).

I find this helpful:

> Know what your goal is
> Know yourself, Be yourself
> Know what you don't want
> Be honest with yourself and others
> Know the qualities you seek in another
> Understand that it is unlikely anyone will be a perfect match
> Remove the unworthy
> Allow others to be themselves

M2 is here to help you find someone that might be compatible with you. You are not going to find instant love online. Love is only going to happen face to face and only if it is mutual. M2 opens the door but it is your responsibility to actually step into a relationship.

Just try to remember that not everyone on M2 is looking for a real-life relationship. Online relationships can also fulfill someones reason for using this site. Friendships can flourish online too.

I hope you meet some interesting people using this site and when you meet that one special someone, I hope it endures the test of time. Just remember, if you leave and come back, some of your friends will still be here.

Excellent detailed insight, Tom4Uhere - thanks!

I'm still familiarizing myself with the site and haven't used the "match" feature yet. I did view and read a few of the ladies profiles (who could resist!) and some appear very compatible - and it's fantastic to see so many lovely women over 50 here, as I'm only interested in woman similar in age to me.

It's a bit of a bummer to find that one can't view the matches - unless you basically pay to view. Lol. What if you pay and they're fakes! :( Lol.

I'm not clear on why the "Match" at the top of the screen and the "Mutual Match" near the bottom of the Account screen - are different numbers... what's the difference between the two? I have 3 or 4 fewer on Match than Mutual Match.

Questions for anyone that knows...

Q: Shouldn't "Match" and "Mutual Matches" be the same number?

Q: Why would either Match number grow more than Profile Viewed? Doesn't that mean someone clicked you without even reading your profile? Does that make sense?

If you use the 'Match' feature and say yes to a profile then it is considered a match on your end.

A 'Mutual Match' is when someone you have matched with also selects yes or match mutual with your profile.

There are many profiles that I view but do not match with. Age, location and picture often prevent me from reading the actual profile because those fast views do not match my requirements.

Sometimes I click a profile in the community just to find out where they are from. I may have no interest except idle curiosity.

You will notice that you will get 'views' from people you do not match with. As a rule of thumb, if someone 'views' your profile over 3 times in a week you might want to send them a message. They are obviously interested in something about you.

Things I look at when someone views me:

26 year old female from Fordyce, Arkansas
26 year old female from Doha, Doha
39 year old female from Tuscaloosa, Alabama
23 year old female from Houston, Texas


Of those four, none are within my match guidelines. I may 'view' the 39 year old for curiosity but unless I choose to match with her, all I am doing is viewing. If I do match with her and she matches back or has already selected me as a match then it becomes a mutual match.

I'm just the opposite:

I have 82 matches but only ONE mutual match and she has turned out to not really be interested in me at all. I have no idea how to remove her from my count but I find her profile a match and she obviously finds mine a match.

If I could view the matches I may have more mutual matches but until I commit money to this endeavor I suffice with the message system. After all, the messages are where you really get to know one another.

Make sure you use tact and respect when messaging someone. If tact and respect is something you value. It all depends on why you are here and what it is you are looking for.

I just found this page and absolutely love the valuable info I am reading here.
I am sooo sick and tired of the 'guys' who use 'fixed' dialogue with poor verbiage. You can instantly deduct that the is a scammer. Wouldn't
t it be nice to be able to turn the tables on them ?? *giggle*
I've found that finding the 'real'men for real dating very difficult in my 50's. I have to include that I am a very attractive BBW who happens to have a moderate disability. Put all those 3 things together am I am getting a massive doughnut. So so frustrating.

I just joined yesterday and already my message box is overflowing, but sadly I don't think any of them are legit.

I finally found the forums and wow at the info here! :) It was nice to find out my initial reaction to my messages was correct, but it was even nicer to discover "real" responses here!

Thanks to everyone who posted! Going to keep reading and weeding here! LOL

Um yea I'm suspicious of the youngens myself.

Advice just be careful how much personal info you give out.
Trust your gut.
Be yourself.
Have fun.
Don't trust messages with emails or phone numbers in the first message with out researching the number first.

And no need to go to a pay site. As long there is back and forth communication messaging is free..

*whispers* most of the real people are in the forums.

Good luck to you.

All helpful advice.
If I see someone interesting on line before I get too vested I research the photos and screen name which often will lead to other screen names that can show up on very dubious sites. With wholely different personas and often phone numbers. It takes only a few minutes and saves wasteing your time on the worthless and getting discouraged before you find the wonderful.

I keep a list of screen names I have blocked and the Numbers they use because they often pop up again with only slight variations. I give Mingleland credit they do quickly deactivate scammers and trouble makers so do report if you see th here.

Excellent advice. New to the site also, so very helpful to learn how to navigate around the sites and what to be on the lookout for.

I made a change in my age range and found more matches.
I now have 10 years older and 10 years younger.
I have actually met someone (not from this site) that is 10 years older than me but we seem to have many similarities. Nothing serious yet but I see potential.

I think one of the most important things to remember is to keep your options open. Be flexible where you can.

Hello Guys am new here and i don't really know how it works