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Topic: how much time after a longterm relationship...
stevenpwis's photo
Mon 11/19/07 01:47 PM
Edited by stevenpwis on Mon 11/19/07 01:48 PM
If you're pretty sure you don't want to get back together with her, it's not too soon. I broke up with my ex in July, I couldn't wait to get back to dating, I couldn't stand her. She is still trying to get back together with me even though I keep telling her it's not going to happen. We were together for 6 years.

playoff99's photo
Mon 11/19/07 02:44 PM
Edited by playoff99 on Mon 11/19/07 02:44 PM
wow, all great advice here.


I would be careful. If you are over someone in 3 weeks either there was not much of a relationship with your ex over those 3 years or the reality of the break up has not hit you yet. When the ex and I broke up after a 6 year relationship my initial reaction was relief that ii was over. We were free of the stress of the problems. Then about a month later the reality of the break up really set in. It was like a delayed reaction. It's been 6 months and we are still trying to figure out if it is over or we should re-evaluate. I am sure everyone circumstances are different.


I think im part of that boat cause after 3-4 weeks now i have just been so relieved to be out of there. but the relationship to me was a very important part of my life, but i knew i needed to get out of it.


i wouldnt rush into anything just take your time, by the way nice cat i love cats


thats my sister's little "brat" cat, he has such a unique personality laugh


I say why wait?i mean did the last relationship tire you out physically so much that ya need a vacation from dating?


no i dont think it that i need to take a break from dating, but im asking myself IF i was to find someone while getting back into the dating scene, is it too soon to start another possible long term relationship?


to everyone who responded, thank you for your input bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile

Dragonl0ve's photo
Mon 11/19/07 02:50 PM
I also am recently out of a long term relationship. It took me about five months of no dating and just being alone to remember that I am happy with who I am. If you rush you may start to wonder or lose yourself. Just relax, enjoy the time :)

Troublemaker7's photo
Mon 11/19/07 06:19 PM
Edited by Troublemaker7 on Mon 11/19/07 06:21 PM
That's a very good question. I think if it's only been 3 weeks it can be difficult to judge right now whether you're ready for something else long-term. If you start a relationship there is the possibility that you could just be latching onto that person because they make you feel good. "Rebound" relationships can sometimes be deceiving because it's more about you than the person you're wih. On the other end of that scenario, you don't want to close yourself off emotionally and miss out on something really great. If you think that there is something special with someone, don't let the timeframe be the only thing stopping you. We can help give you some feedback, but you will really have to think about where you are mentally and what you are looking for. If you think you're ready for another long-term relationship, then go for it. The casual dating scene is not for everyone and there's nothing wrong with keeping your future in mind.

Tameka's photo
Mon 11/19/07 06:28 PM
for each person, the answer is different. but you shouldnt be in a relationship just to be in a relationship... it sucks to be alone sometimes, but you really get to know who you are that way.

unsure's photo
Mon 11/19/07 06:29 PM
I can't believe that you want to "jump" into another relationship when you just got out of one! Why would you even want to date this soon? I think you really need time to heal, there is no possible way that you could be over that woman. I think you need time to find out what its like to be on your own.

Its really not so bad to be by yourself. I think thats everyones problem...they are afraid of being alone. I think if people would be alone for a little while..they would realize that its really not so bad after all. So take some time and get to know what YOU want.

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