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| Topic: openly talking about your feelings with your partner | |
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Guess I'm just a blathering idiot who will just shut up now.
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depends on what you mean by an emotionally strong man does that mean stoic? keeps everything to himself? a wall, fortress? takes everything world dishes out at him keeps on going? never let's ya see him sweat or cry or stumble? if so, what a ridiculous image to have to try to live up to children are wonderful at expressing their emotions if they are happy they clap and jump up and down and grin if they are sad they cry angry? they might throw things or punch their brother in the arm as adults? we learn the lessons we are taught by family, society about what is acceptable and what is best kept hidden we learn from relationships too that first one we went into with arms wide open offering all we were to another human being.. did we learn that our feelings were valued and worthy of expression? or did we learn a different lesson? did we have a partner that used what we said against us? used it as fuel for an arguement? as a means to manipulate us? did they use it as so called weakness and bring it up at parties to jeer and insult us? ahhhh...did we learn that in order to be strong we had to keep all those feelings behind a wall oh not that we do not feel them we are after all human and now because we do this to ourselves on a daily basis we look at other people as 'weak' that have not learned the same lesson but are still open and honest WOW! Beautifully written! |
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My policy has always been "If you don't like the answer you shouldn't have asked the question." I have been open and honest with everyone I've ever met which could be why I don't even have many friend, none that will invite me to do anything anyway. I have always felt that it takes a stronger person to lay it out on the table then someone that prefers to hide in the shadows behind lies and falls truths. Likewise. I was often told that I have absolutely no tact. However, when people I know have issues they seek my counsel? Probably because they Know I will tell them like I see it. In any relationship honesty creates trust. Even the relationship you have with yourself. (sounds weird but it really isn't) |
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It depends on the woman you're talking to, some people prefer partners that are more logical than emotional because they need the someone to ground them. The timing is also important, and they way you convey your emotions. I agree and the thing that I take from this is that when you match with the right someone there is no conflict in how or when you relate your emotions to them. |
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Guess I'm just a blathering idiot who will just shut up now.
I believe everyone has a right to blather as they see fit. If your concerns are valid to you I think you should express them. Perhaps someone will read what you wrote and gain enlightenment? |
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..ok.. I'm making this topic because of something I read in another topic.. A very well-respected female member made a comment.. .. stating how she likes her man to be strong.. emotionally... Ok... which got me thinking.. and you know this !because you can see the smoke Rising out of my ears .lmao.. .. how sensitive or open with his or her feelings do you like your partner to be?... can a guy be too emotionally touchy-feely... I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.. which can come across as being emotionally weak.. but I don't perceive myself as weak.. I just can't help myself from explaining how I feel to my partner... and yes !. I know that can be perceived as a sign of weakness.... sometimes I have to stop myself and say ..okay! stop talking.. she's going to think you have a vagina instead of a set of balls..lol.. okay I don't hunt or fish I'm not very mechanically inclined and I do like to shop!.((.omg. ))..I do have a vagina..lol..... but seriously!! if a guy or girl is a little too emotionally sensitive.. do you automatically perceive it as weakness.?.. or do you think it's nice that they can share there feelings.. and are willing to open themselves up to you on an emotional level... Or is it better we just tell you to make us a sandwich bring us a beer and then slap your *** and watch you walk away... well. In the meanwhile dying inside ourselves just a little bit!. because we can't tell you.. that we feel a little emotionally shaky... because our boss is breathing down are neck at work.. and on the way home we saw baby raccoon Roadkill... and yes !while watching Fried Green Tomatoes we quietly secretly choked.. back our tears...lol [/quote I consider myself a person that can share my feelings and I do get emotional at times because I'm human... but I also can be a very strong person.... So I'd like to find a partner to do the same....I think it is great when a man can feel comfortable enough to open himself up like that and show that soft side of himself.... and still show his strong side... My late husband held all of his emotions in when we first started dating and it made him seem cold.... we didn't date for too long because of that, but we stayed friends for a year before we started dating again because he learned how to open up and show his emotions to me........ so I would say yes show your emotions and your strength... Sometimes I'm okay being told to go make that sandwich and being popped on the butt while you watch me walk away but I wouldn't want that all the time either....lol so I think most of us whether we are male or female just want a well rounded emotional person as a partner... It's not good for anyone to hold all of our feelings inside for to long... |
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I think you should be yourself, and the right person will appreciate you just the way you are. I don't believe anyone should put on a front because society thinks this or that. I don't see crying as a sign of weakness, nor do I see expressing your feelings as one either. |
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Don't be afraid to relay your true emotions.
Vulnerability is bravery. Be a man not a macho man. My dad told me he cried several times after one of his dogs had to be put down. Then he said I must be getting weak in my old age. He is still being a macho man. |
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Yes..well done...  ..
So what you're saying it's okay for girls to cry but not for boys..hmmmLol.. so if he is very romantic.. has somewhat of a poetic heart ..feels emotions deeply.. he should still choke back the tears. .lol... but our tears are a sign of emotion as well... I'm not talking full out  but perhaps ..lol
Oh FFS No1, please put on your reading glasses!! You're not getting the message. That or you're smoking a serious spliff? 
In any case, read it again this time with your glasses and put down that spliff! |
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depends on what you mean by an emotionally strong man does that mean stoic? keeps everything to himself? a wall, fortress? takes everything world dishes out at him keeps on going? never let's ya see him sweat or cry or stumble? if so, what a ridiculous image to have to try to live up to children are wonderful at expressing their emotions if they are happy they clap and jump up and down and grin if they are sad they cry angry? they might throw things or punch their brother in the arm as adults? we learn the lessons we are taught by family, society about what is acceptable and what is best kept hidden we learn from relationships too that first one we went into with arms wide open offering all we were to another human being.. did we learn that our feelings were valued and worthy of expression? or did we learn a different lesson? did we have a partner that used what we said against us? used it as fuel for an arguement? as a means to manipulate us? did they use it as so called weakness and bring it up at parties to jeer and insult us? ahhhh...did we learn that in order to be strong we had to keep all those feelings behind a wall oh not that we do not feel them we are after all human and now because we do this to ourselves on a daily basis we look at other people as 'weak' that have not learned the same lesson but are still open and honest WOW! Beautifully written! certain sets of skills we have learned in life for a reason in past and in certain circumstances they have served us well otherwise we would not have kept them in our grap bag or toolbox the question is are they still serving us well? |
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Hello
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Hiiii
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I really think that everyone has the right to show their feelings regardless of gender being emotinal or showing your emotions is not a weakness but rather a person who is capable of feelings and sensitivity to what she or he really feels in fact one should never fear to show his or her real identity as human we are not perfect and at times we go through different cycles of life but we need to understand that its ok to be hurt to get scared and to feel uncertain because by allowing and acknowledging all this emotion it sets you free from what ever it is that is holding us back it is only by accepting our imperfection that will lead us to a new best version of us
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I really think that everyone has the right to show their feelings regardless of gender being emotinal or showing your emotions is not a weakness but rather a person who is capable of feelings and sensitivity to what she or he really feels in fact one should never fear to show his or her real identity as human we are not perfect and at times we go through different cycles of life but we need to understand that its ok to be hurt to get scared and to feel uncertain because by allowing and acknowledging all this emotion it sets you free from what ever it is that is holding us back it is only by accepting our imperfection that will lead us to a new best version of us
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Awww ..boys come sit on blondey's lap for a special hug  you know it is alright to cry and express your sensitive side . . I have seen many men fall apart and I never once thought they had a vagina . Now does someone need a scented sponge bath  
Great response! I think it takes a strong secure man to be able to talk openly about his feelings. If you can't open up to your lover then you can you open up to? |
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.. how sensitive or open with his or her feelings do you like your partner to be?
If spouses aren't open to each other, then trouble will come to their marriage. Exactly!!!! A couple should be open with their feelings, thought processes etc... If not I dont understNd how they can have a relationship period... |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Sun 02/05/17 02:20 PM
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Does anybody think that mutuality of sharing is a factor? (Is mutuality a word?)
There are some people I feel inspired to pour my heart out to , and some people I don't. I would imagine I would enjoy a man's complete openess and vulnerability, if I felt organically inspired to do the same with him. If he is the only one doing it, I personally would find the interactions draining . In addition to that, I do think that openess and vulnerability are super attractive when it is accompanied by other anchoring qualities like confidence, consistency in moods and behavior, and a sense of initiative. But if that openess is a packaged deal , accompanied by moodiness , inconsistent behavior ,insecurity and a lack of initiative,then the extreme honesty and openess comes across as flaky , weak or hormonal in my opinion. I always joke that only one person is allowed to have a menstrual cycle in my relationship... And it better be ME! 
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Sun 02/05/17 05:35 PM
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But..what's up with.women when they get upset.. and say nothing is wrong..
Basically aren't willing to discuss what's going on.... then when you push the issue just a bit because you do know there's something going on... Thay. Close off and shut down..to you..Wtf..lol.. I totally get that women need time to process.. have a lot on their plate and don't want to get emotional.... but isn't that what being in a relationship is all about talking working things out together... not just running off to be by yourself leaving your partner in the dark..on what's going on.. with you... oh and believe me we get that we stepped in it and are the cause of the problem..lol.. but at least give us the chance to give you our side of things... then go off and be a baby..lol.. so we can at least try to fix things apologize in the proper manner ..wink.. nobody likes being kept in the dark... no matter how much you reassure them everything's okay.. because at the time it sure doesn't feel okay..lol.... Ohhh. And don't even try to sell me on..the strong secure man.. would give her the space she needs... scenario What a crock of s***... reality is the strong secure man doesn't really care... To know what's going on... if she leaves she leaves.. it takes more strength to care and try to work things out face to face... |
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I don't know about anyone else but I have seen my Grandparents and Parents both lived 180 degrees opposite. I have never seen my Grandparents arguing at all. Where as my parents can't stop arguing and fight over something extremely silly once they burnt out they apologize to each other and move on it's been 36 years for them being in relationship.
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