piggy backing off of the rebound thread...

people carry on different relationships for different reasons
they get married for different reasons too


I think the best indicator of whether someone is truly ready for the 'potential' serious relationship is hard to determine by marital status alone


I feel the only way to find out is to 'risk' getting to know them and finding out where they are in their heart and life


its more about what they communicate to you than what their 'papers' say,,,


what do you think?

Yeah I agree. Although I have noticed of the years that in general it takes about a 6 months to a year for someone to find their feet again after a relationship.
Others say a month for each year you were in a relationship, which also makes sense and I think is a good approximation too.
There's info online what the signs are of (being in) a rebound relationship. The typical things that go down.

Topic: Recovery Time

Regardless of how long it is, a recovery time is needed for anyone who has gotten a divorce.

Recovery time?..
Ummm. For myself about 15 minutes or so..ohhhh.. wait a minute!! I don't think this topic is about what I think it is..lol

it takes me longer than that to recover from your funny posts

I believe, a soon as you can find yourself again, be comfortable in your own skin.
Time is just a way to measure actual.

That's the point of avoiding someone based on learning they're fresh out of a relationship, or "marital status alone."

To avoid "risk."

There's "plenty of fish in the sea," and for every profile that reads "separated," there are a dozen that say "single."

Why assume greater risk for equal or less reward.


That's like saying "I don't pay attention to stop signs. I try to figure out why the city decided to put a street sign at that location. And I am going to rely on watching traffic whenever I'm at the stop sign and if there's never any traffic when I happen to be there, then I'm just going to stop ever stopping at the sign."

You don't know what they're communicating to you if you're meeting them online.
You're a stranger to them, they are a stranger to you.
You have no consistent methods of communication to compare.
Maybe if they were a "just friends" relationship that just ended their romantic relationship then focusing on communication would be worthwhile and meaningful.

Otherwise, your choosing to interact with them will change them and their communication, but only give you a limited amount of information which you've biased by your presence and offering them a relationship to get to know them.

Not to mention, if you try to objectively measure what they're communicating to "figure them out," you have to emotionally distance yourself.
That will turn everyone off, push them away, whether they're "rebounding" or "normal."

If you allow yourself to emotionally bond naturally, if you are emotionally "invested" to any degree, you are going to overlook or underestimate communication that is inconsistent or shows you they aren't "ready."

About recovery time: it certainly varies, and it depends on what people are seeking out of the relationship. I also find that recovery time speeds up if one engages in casual dating/flirting in the interim. Too soon for a new life partner =/= too soon for an activity partner.

And about the statuses... they are way too restrictive on this site. I have been married for 13 years and will remain married for 8 more, because that's when our child turns 18. It's a financial and legal commitment that we take seriously. On the other hand, my wife and I have not been lovers for several years and I have had two serious-ish relationships since we separated romantically. There is no status for non-monogamy or even "it's complicated." Which is why the risk/reward decision (mentioned above) is flawed.

You wouldn't need that, you're still married and intent on keeping it that way for a long time. Meaning you should simply state "Married".
Anything else is lying and not fair on members who could potentially be interested.
- It's complicated = it's not FB, it's a dating site. Besides, it means your not available for commitment.
- non-monogamy = It's a dating site, not a sex dating site. Non-monogamy means your not available for commitment.
Why would a dating site cater for ppl who aren't available for commitment? Would only attract more scammers & w@nkers.