I wouldn't necessarily think of that as a red flag. They may have been married for several years, but there may be very good reason for him not wanting any contact with her anymore.

I don't think so. Maybe he checked out of the relationship before the divorce or it's just too painful for him to see her. Not everyone can remain friends with their ex.

I concur with you.

Sometimes an end of love leads to a beginning of a friendship. Sometimes it doesn't.
Maybe they have nothing left to say to each other, so why continue talking...I don't know anything about these people so it is hard to make any conclusions.

I wouldn't call it a red flag prior to having an honest and opened conversation with that man. Just ask him.

If he doesn't want to say a word, it might mean his wounds still didn't heal or maybe he is just too introvert and doesn't want to talk about certain life experiences.

How can you red flag it without any insight?
Try to talk to him.

Funny,
I am in the same situation, long story but I have and wish to cut all ties. why you may ask.
Truly I cant give the definitive answer.

I was hurt, used , etc... yadda yadda
Maybe its the flight or fight reaction. self preservation to my sanity.

It's not a RED FLAG it's love and the risks we put ourselves in.

Nobody knows you like a deep love, and noone can hurt you so bad so deep.

Deep enough to question yourself. We grow , learn move on.


Baggage It's weather you carry it on your back or leave it in the overhead compartment and fly.

I may add it's strange the OP has deleted their profile too

Oh really? Thanks for an update 2b_single

Everyone has past. Sometimes we require more time than we give ourselves to heal and become capable of starting over again.

I would rather not be quick to call it a baggage.

It might be a baggage if it left scars so deep to disable a person from being opened to new experiences without emotional distance.

Pain does that. It blinds, just like love. If encapsulated it invisibly grows stronger. Tough situation...requires a deep soul search to find the way out of it.

If one learned and applied a lessons from the past, not looking for payback from someone else, totally unrelated to the cause of pain, in future, than it not a baggage.

I like your view, GentleSOul

maybe my line of thinking and the original post has to do with " Toxic environs need to be dismissed "

That is the best way to deal with it.

Without going into the whole two and ten, It's been 15 years since I divorced my X. And I still have nothing to do with her. I'll explain it this way, if you had been married to a woman like I married and put up with what I put up with, you may never want to be near her again. Some people can treat you so badly that once you finally get rid of them, you can't stand to be around them anymore. Some people can turn you against them to the point that you can't be in the same room with them for very long. All it takes is being treated badly enough. And for everyone it's different.

OMG Maybe actual evidence some people meet other people on mingle2 and dont have need to be here any more.

Though I do confess I tend to think that may be a fantasy

I was married to my ex for 9 years and wish i could just cut him from my life but we have 3 children so it will never happen.

I fail to see how anything that happens AFTER breaking up can be a red flag?
A red flag for what?

I have no ties with my ex-wife, Honestly unless you have kids with them, I think it is unhealthy to remain friends with them. They are your past, new person would be my future. You can't truly move on if you're still living in the past. I don't see a need to remain friends at all. I think it's selfish to remain friends with them, you want them there for support, for fun, for friendship, for a 'buddy'. All things that you should be striving to have with your new person. Of course that doesn't apply if you have kids, then you do it for them. But that's my opinion and you know what opinions are like.

I have the exact same views. But indeed not everyone sees it that way, which is okay, to each their own.
For me it's also because I make a complete commitment in a relationship. To go back to 'just friends' after breaking up .. feels weird.

Yeah, I get that, but you'd want to know that about someone you are about to get involved with, not about an ex. That's like wanting / needing to know red flags of people you are NOT getting a relationship with. What's the point? There is none. That's like searching for a pizza in the box after you've just devoured the pizza, and then questioning if you got s(r*wed over by the pizzeria cos there is no pizza in the box anymore.

I understand why the OP -who's deactivated lol- asked the question, cos she's hurt by his behaviour. But hurting is no reason to call for red flags.

of course its okay if people don't see it thst way...everyone has the right to be wrong

I'm thinking OP was the one whose ex didn't want to have any contact with. And it was just a rant.