“There’s a difference between being nice and good, I consider myself a good person. And I think people perceive me to be nice as in, ‘Oh, she’s nice,’ but being a good person, knowing your strengths and working towards those strengths, and encouraging those around you to do the same, that’s a good person. A nice person will sit back and go, ‘Oh yes, OK, no worries, yes.’ A nice person is a yes person, whereas a good person is a person who accepts their responsibility in things and moves forward. He or she constantly evolve and isn’t afraid to say no, challenge someone or be honest.”

Most people would expect such profound words from a model, but indeed her thoughts are backed by scientific research. The Psychology Foundation of Canada reports that one important aspect of your personal self-esteem is feeling that you have a “voice” ─ that you have the right to be listened to and heard in a way that helps you have some control over what happens in your life. When you speak up and stand up for yourself, you are, in effect, saying to yourself and the world, “I am a significant person whose ideas and words are worthy of respect.”

So you can be nice, but also be good – be good to your authentic self.


http://www.energesse.com/being-good-vs-being-nice/





do you strive to be a good person?
do you strive to be a nice person?

do you strive instead to just be 'happy'

No.
Just a person, attempting to understand what reality that is.

Wanting to be "good" creates too much of an incentive for self deception or avoidance of anything that might possibly make me think I'm "bad," and anything "bad" I might actually do (being a normal, fallible, limited human being wanting to be "good") compels overcompensation for it (to make up for the "bad" and get it back to "good").

Otherwise I'm reliant upon other people to validate or judge me good, relying on their judgment of who I am, which means I would ultimately strive to be who they wanted me to be if I wanted to be "good," making me a slave to their fickle values.
That doesn't sound pleasant to me.


No.
Niceness isn't rewarded or even understood universally.
One persons niceness is another persons obsequiousness.
A lot of niceness is just a pleasant facade to keep people at a distant, which can make many things that are dependent upon honest reactions and information require more time, effort, and energy to accomplish.


No.
If happiness is ultimately a choice, then I can make myself happy at any time by focusing on anything and finding connections and pleasure in it, just change my perspective.

If it's not a choice, but a set of circumstances, then focusing on being happy is little different, to me, than focusing on heroin or pot, finding the right strain or chemicals or situation that give the biggest most long lasting high.

I'd rather strive to know what I am, what is, rather than try to find something to be, because it offers something, and strive for that. Because you can't do both.

IMO you can either understand who you are, or choose who you want to be and focus on living up to that.
Vacillating between the two leads to accomplishing neither.
Striving to be a "good" person or striving to be "happy" falls into choosing who you want to be. That's more work and effort than I have any desire to do.

Jesus said that only God is good (Mark 10:18). Being that I am a Christian, I accept what Jesus said.

I strive to be a good person, but I also strive to be polite and well mannered. I guess my definition of "nice" may be a little different. I don't consider a "nice" person to be a "yes" person. I consider them to be polite. A "yes" person is a people pleaser. The problem with that is that you can only please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the time no matter how hard you try. I try to be a good person, and be true to myself but also a nice person who is well mannered and polite. Not only is it a requirement for a happy work life but it also works in my personal life in general.

I don't agree you don't have to be a yes person to be a nice person. You can be nice and stand your ground. Encouraging others we are do for good or bad negative or positive we all inspire someone in one way or another. To either never be like that person to I think that was a great way of do something. I think I will try that in my life. You don't have to be mean to say no.

tmh,, good points

for me , being 'nice' is about showing outwardly a consideration of others

being 'good',, or doing 'good'


as Dodo said, biblically 'good' people arent a thing

but in the modern sense, 'good people' try to DO good things, beyond just publicly showing consideration which may be done just for appearance

'good' things are done by 'good' people who are internally considerate and loving of their neighbors

I am a good person. I have and will continue to sacrifice myself for others.

But, many people will say that I'm NOT nice.

IMO, Nice is typically just a facade for a "bad" person.

Although the Snuggles Teddy Bear is nice.

I try to be the best person I can be under the circumstances of the situation. I like to look at life from a Zen Buddhist point of view which is "Good, bad, who's to say?" In the past I've been told I'm a good person and that I'm a nice guy, but I've also been told I'm cold and mean.

I have to respectfully agree and disagree with you... I do agree with what you have stated some of the things that make up a good person.. I also believe there were many attributes left out. Like honesty, integrity, respect etc... I believe that you can do all the things you listed and more and still be nice.

I know for a fact I respect who am I am, and I also know my value as a person. In discovering this, I found the value in everyone else. I consider it a failing of mine personally when I am not nice. I can state my opinion, stand my ground respectfully and nicely. I can keep my morals and belief's in this world and still be nice. I have a voice and I use it.

I have my boundaries in place, I don't get walked on all that often,when I choose for that to happen I make that choice and I know it going in.

I also challenge people all day long, part of my job is to challenge people. And yet I believe it can be done with kindness and truth. I can tell someone that they failed their urine text nicely and yes I have to report it to their P.O and more than likely yes they will be going back to jail.

I also believe when a person stands on their laurels and decides they don't have to be nice is actually standing on a bank of clay...

So therefore I agree that a nice person can be a good person and vice a versa... It is all about choice.








I strive to be the best person each and every day I can be. I also reassess things to see where I can improve.

I am a happy person, and I am content.
So Yes I believe I am a good person... Nice is subjective and that is something I think others will have more of an opinion of "you" than you the person will have. I know I try to be ...

At the present time in my life, I am just trying to be the "bad" boy. As I am tired of being a nice guy, who always finishes last...But the women are laughing and saying, I suck at being a "bad" guy...WTH...Apparently, showing up late for a date, paying only half the bill, dressing like a bum, not opening doors, not going in for a late night coffee...does not qualify as being the "bad" guy...WTH....I wanna be a bad guy.....what kin I do or say....???

I treat others how I wish to be treated.

Well there's 5 min of my life I won't get back...
Sorry but this is just another BS article without enough context or backing about what they are claiming.
Looks like a modern news article with no meat behind it...

So you are saying the OP should have just asked if you were "naughty" or "nice".......hmmm... I would have gone for "naughty" its the way I try to roll...lol...

I don't consider myself a good person or a nice person; I am just a person. I don't like labels and I wish people would just accept each other for who they are.

a nice person is someone that shows respect and is polite

a good person is a nice person that will go out of their way to help someone

but you can be a nice person to some a good person to some others and a total jerk to yet others

it is all in the use of the circumstance


or like the n word all in the intent (wink)

I tried to be as evil as I possibly can. cut the ladies seem to like it..

Obviously, this all depends on the exact way people define those words.

One way, this could be an attempt to distinguish between someone who BEHAVES politely, but not honestly, versus someone who is always genuine, but not always pleasantly.

Or someone who adheres to the LETTER of the laws, but not their SPIRIT.

Even to a very old religious argument, over whether someone who quotes the religious texts, and carefully observes all the religious ceremonies will be more positively judged by the deity in question, than the person who ignores the official observances, but displays the soul of the religion itself.

For myself, I have come to be more concerned with why an individual worries about such things. Sometimes they are someone who needs comforting, and are desperately scratching to ask for it, without appearing to do so; other times they can be someone with less than honorable intentions, looking for a loophole in the "rules," in order to use others selfishly, while still technically being labeled as okay, and therefore be immune from rejection or negative consequences.

for me

I am concerned with being good and nice because of my personal standards

hopefully, everyone has some

Good or bad who cares be yourself, be real

everything we are is ourself, we are too complex to truly be anyone but us

we can choose to improve parts of the self and discard other parts