Mmmmmm
While surfing the net this weekend when I was bored,
I came across this article about J Lo and the red flags in her relationship.


Did anyone read the J Lo article
Article On MSN Entertainment


What does this mean to you? (if anything)
Is it something you can associate with?
Are you the kind of person who does the same things?
How do you deal with it?

Just read it because you linked it, thanks. :)

I sorta agree with JLo (we're nearly the same age), though I don't think I'd say I ignored red flags because I didn't care about myself at the time. I'd say I've ignored red flags because I wanted so badly for the relationship to work. I used to pride myself in being non-judgmental and open minded. I still am in some ways, but I'm wiser now when it comes to who I spend time with.

I suppose it can be helpful to think of it as caring about yourself to be selective in who you get involved with.

IMO I don't think people "ignore" red flags or for the most part have actual conversations with themselves like "I didn’t see that."

IMO I think most people interpret "red flags" to mean something else, something not as harmful or "bad."

I think that's human nature.

No one wants to see themselves as a "bad" person.
When people start developing a relationship their identity naturally, organically, changes and the other person becomes integral to who you see yourself as.

Red flags happen, and they're downgraded, the context is rationalized as more important and contributory, belief in avoiding context means future "red flag" events can be avoided, and if they can be avoided then they don't matter all that much, they aren't that important, they aren't relevant to or representative of the "core" of someone.

That is what
means to me.


Of course.
I don't think there's a human being alive that couldn't associate with that.
It's part of the reason why so many people over analyze things.
"He didn't eat much of the dip I made, does that mean he's mad at me or just not like the dip?" Is the guy being petulant, and therefore a petulant person? Or just not hungry? Well, he's been working all day so maybe he's tired and wants to sleep, not eat. I'm not going to worry about it, I don't want to start an argument...


At best the article, to me, is saying "I come to the wrong conclusions about things before I come to the right ones."
So. Yes. I am the kind of person who does the same things.


I attempt to use experience and critical thinking more than emotional reaction.
Which has it's own problems in relationships as it causes distancing and interferes with bonding. Emotionally reacting is understood and seen as more honest communication than rational direct communication.

..Red flag..
When she pulls up to the restaurant riding a bicycle..lol...
In the middle of winter..lol

lol

red flags are different based on priorities

I dont have many because I believe people can and do constantly grow and change through their experiences

its just whether I am patient enough to implement and wait for said change that is an issue for me



red flags that I am not patient enough for are

expressing actual 'hatred' and 'venom' about people that are strangers
expressing other than understandable disrespect for or harm towards women in their family

focusing always on negatives and gossip
and
ignoring anything but the positive


balance is a key turn on for me,,, a balanced person is one level of 'sexiness' , an imbalanced person is extremely offputting

If her profile pic is of a Victoria Secret model, then ya might want to tread with caution.

so are you saying victoria secret models dont join mingle? I mean successful men and women do still use escorts

but this cost much less

Guess Mingle is more than just a mere dating site. It's an economical way to meet models and prostitutes.

When they tell you I am not jealous or crazy possive I am just territoral, watch out.

When your partner is so quiet and not talking anymore, it means there's something

Territorial, I like that in a man!

RedFlag to me would be cheapness and pettiness
Both being nasty qualities....

To me the 'Red Flag' would be he freaks out if you hand him his phone. Or he keeps a lock on his phone. Or every time you leave the room he is checking it. I'm just saying if you feel the need to hide its not worth the time to ask him why he does it.SERIOUSLY it's easier to just leave

Red flag for me would be if he suddenly becomes over-jealous, it means he is busy with someone else