Can a drug or alcohol addiction go away? Porn is an addiction that can be life controlling just like drugs or alcohol. Does he prefer Porn and self gratification over being with his wife? If so then it's a major addition and needs professional help and will always bet there.

that depends..how many hours of viewing constitutes an addiction?
or is it only defined as one
when it begins to interfere with your life, your work and
your relationships





ooof the counselor is coming out in me
I best step away from this one

Does anyone remember that Sex in the City episode where Miranda was dating that guy addicted to porn? He was having sex with her but he needed to be watching porn on tv at the same time. I could not date a guy like that. That is how I feel.

..Well. if that's the case then this place is worse than porn*

And if I may add.. just buy the show of hands who here has actually starred in a porn no...lol.. okay maybe a home movie....lmao...WHAT !!!.. thay just have to raise their hands..lol.. know mention of any names
..wink

This is the most thoughtful answer so far.

The thing is, that sex is both a part of a love relationship, and it's a metaphor for the overall relationship at the same time.

There's all sorts of differences between porn and a live subject, if you just think a tiny bit. Porn doesn't have to be in the mood, it doesn't have to cooperate, it doesn't ask questions or challenge anything you do with it, it doesn't care if your approach was thoughtful and romantic enough, and more than anything else with newly weds, it doesn't symbolize the end of childhood freedom, or the imposition of adult responsibility on the participants.

In short, there are tons of obvious and less obvious psychological reasons why some relationships' sexual component isn't what each person desires, and usually addiction of some kind is LAST on the list of probable causes.

Sex reflects the overall relationship, and not just as a barometer of desire. If your relationship is built of mismatched fantasies about what marriage is supposed to be, that will show up as problematic sex. If you don't communicate well about the more general aspects of marriage, that's probably true of your sexual relations as well.

Finally, the simplest thing about dealing with your partner masturbating, is the most basic psychology of all. If it offends you, and you get upset with them for it, that means you are telling them that you don't like THEM, as a person, for who they really are.

You want someone else.

And I can tell you as someone who has been male for over sixty years now, the absolute WORST way to get me interested in having sex with you, is to communicate that I'm a stand in for the "REAL MAN" you actually had in mind.

Crawl under the desk and help him along.

It's not so much about the porn really as it is taking control of your own pleasure/ happiness.

Everyone should be so liberated.

And if you're not then ... Sucks to be you.

owwwww maybe he is not happy

Im

I think it's something that needs professional help, but first you'd have to talk, ask him. Find out from him what his reasons are.
But I gather you aren't with him anymore? Hope it doesn't leave you with a problem. I had a similar thing with my ex and I started to feel utterly rejected. Damaged my sense of femininity big time.
The way I feel about it... if you aren't interested in having sex with your partner, don't get in a relationship to begin with. Stay single.

In a thread on porn I posted this chart that I found online, showing that porn is mostly watched in the US.
Why men get hung up on it, I don't get. Certainly not if you're newly wed/in a new relationship. You should still be nuts about each other and sexercising whenever, wherever.

Like they say: if you put a bead or bean in a pot each time you have sex the first 7 yrs ... then after that start taking one out each time, the pot never gets empty anymore ...
And I did that, thinking "I'll get that pot empty, no prob!" But dang, it's true!
But when a guy spends more time watching porn, you wouldn't even get to filling the pot to begin with.

If I have to stare at a pot of beans every time I walk in the door for 14 years....
I'm gonna' lose it.

if you have a perfectly willing, vibrant, healthy, loving partner in front of you and you are stepping around this person to get to the computer to view porn? then ya that is a problem

Could be one for Dr Phil

Should be a fight decided in a big tub of oil.


Why is it called a "need?"

What can masturbating to porn offer?
Lots of things. Like:
- No judgment. No "you're victimizing me when you masturbate."
- No romance or effort, and thanks to the internet, no real cost.
- No reciprocation or having to care about anyone else.
- No planning or significant time costs.
- No fear. No fear of judgment.
- No rejection. No "I'm tired, I have a headache, I'm busy."
- Immediate gratification relieving any type of stress.
- dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, vasopressin, endorphins, serotonin level change. IOW same chemicals as sex, and a lot of drugs.


Is it really an addiction, or just part of his normal masturbation?
Is it keeping him from holding a job, paying bills on time, keeping hygiene standards, or is he withdrawing from social activities and life to do it?

Either way, it "can" go away.
But it's not going to as long as he's not clearly shown and accepts:
1. Any harm it does.
2. A viable alternative that works for him.
3. Distance from habituated triggers compelling reversion to old learned behavior.

Personally I prefer reality I've tried having sex like a pornstar...

Never seems to go the same way as it does on the video...lol... the whole who's your daddy thing..and..you like that ? You like that ?.. don't you.!!. thing... and the fact that you never see them deal with the wet spot afterwards.... and nobody ever seems to go get a warm washcloth to clean up with... afterwards... that's just cold and wrong...lol.wink

Men are no diff to women. If u need a relief u do it. Don't women have toys or play with themselves

The biggest anti-climax of porn for me is the guy dumping his load on the woman. And sure, they gotta show he's actually dumping it I spose, and I take it men find it a turn on. I find it off-putting. It's gotta go where it's supposed to go and that's not on the woman.
I think it's some strong primal instinct I got. The best sex for me is when the guy, well, puts it where it belongs, lol.
Often those last few seconds are what draws me over the edge, as a guy's erm ... (PG13, PG13, Crystal!!) ... 'thing' expands and throbs when he climaxes. And as a woman you can feel that. And I happen to love that feeling. Add the passion to it that is rushing through him at that specific moment ...
What a WASTE to not let your woman feel that!
So when I see that in porn movies, I get this "oh there we go again, boring!" feeling. Total turnoff.

the parts I find rather ridiculous are the barely there plot lines

such as repair man comes into the house of the hot and lonely housewife

or young and hot hitch hiker needs a ride but has no money
oh no how will she pay for her ride?


hot secretary comes onto her older boss

your girlfriend's hot mother has a thing for young studs



young hottie at the bar drags you into the restroom

I blame all the over sewed media content out....But Im not a hypocrit either...I have strong urges to **** the brains out of alot of these women walking around half clothed...but instead I have to hold it in, and ultimately if not released...boom applying the haND break..lol