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| Topic: Have you ever been in Love With Someone You Couldn't Have? | |
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You can help who you fall in love with, despite popular belief. You may not be able to help who stimulates your dopamine reaponse causing you to 'get butterflies' but that isn't love, love is a choice that you can constantly choose and work at, problem is people are lazy, and want to say things like "can't help who you fall in love with' thereby shifting personal responsibility away from them. Interesting view point. There are positives and negatives i have to say about this, but perhaps i'll keep it at bay. 
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Like someone mentioned, timing.
I thought the greatest of a man i worked with. whom i admired and cared for, as if a family member. But thats all that i could think of him-a family member. At that time, i was with someone. I kept any feelings i may have to a very minimum, even when i felt a aching stir in my heart. Years later, i was single and he had just started dating. He confessed his feelings but it just couldn't happen. He had someone. And all this that we felt, i let it all go as if it was just a little puppy peck of infactuation. It wasnt real. At least thats what i made myself believe. Maybe it could have worked for us, but we will never know. So yes, i did feel something for someone i couldnt be with. |
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Like someone mentioned, timing. I thought the greatest of a man i worked with. whom i admired and cared for, as if a family member. But thats all that i could think of him-a family member. At that time, i was with someone. I kept any feelings i may have to a very minimum, even when i felt a aching stir in my heart. Years later, i was single and he had just started dating. He confessed his feelings but it just couldn't happen. He had someone. And all this that we felt, i let it all go as if it was just a little puppy peck of infactuation. It wasnt real. At least thats what i made myself believe. Maybe it could have worked for us, but we will never know. So yes, i did feel something for someone i couldnt be with. Hind sight is the most powerful objection in life we can have and it has spoiled many relationships and ambitions throughout time. It is something we have all experienced. 
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It happened to me very seriously. I had a very nice girlfriend which i easily lost. I made sooo many big mistakes when I was with her and just after 18 months from the breakup I started to grief her loss. I am reallyin a bad condition now. I can not forgive myself for what i have done to lose her
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It happened to me very seriously. I had a very nice girlfriend which i easily lost. I made sooo many big mistakes when I was with her and just after 18 months from the breakup I started to grief her loss. I am reallyin a bad condition now. I can not forgive myself for what i have done to lose her
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I actually thought this once. But then the girl who I thought I couldn't have told me that she had been waiting for me to ask her out. By that time I had already begun a relationship with someone else. Grrrrr!
 
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It happened to me very seriously. I had a very nice girlfriend which i easily lost. I made sooo many big mistakes when I was with her and just after 18 months from the breakup I started to grief her loss. I am reallyin a bad condition now. I can not forgive myself for what i have done to lose her I am sure you are not the first to have this happen 
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I actually thought this once. But then the girl who I thought I couldn't have told me that she had been waiting for me to ask her out. By that time I had already begun a relationship with someone else. Grrrrr! I have heard of this same thing happen to people I know. Sorry to hear it. 
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Apart from puppy love -which is basically idolisation-, no, don't think so. Lusting after Drooling over Attracted to Fantasized about Hell yes! But that's not love. I totally agree with Ciretom, I don't think it's really love It may not be real love, but at the time it sure feels like it  Sure, look at the fans of the Beatles back then ... We had a Dutch band in the mid-80s who got similar scenarios from female fans, extremely popular, just like the Beatles, just 'limited' to the Netherlands and Belgium. It became too much for them to handle, they didn't like the responsibility. The band quit because of it ... Those fans felt the same way. Hurt, some got depressed etc. To them it felt as real as losing a real lover/partner. The mind/ego can do crazy things to a person ... |
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The mind/ego can be a run away train, but can also govern our most private thoughts
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Yes very deep with a girl long ago but she weren't made for me an I have to aksept that
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Yes very deep with a girl long ago but she weren't made for me an I have to aksept that That is called growing up. many have experienced that same problem 
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I have.. mind you it was years ago when I was a teenager..
I had fallen for one of my older sister's closest friends.. we had a brief relationship then he disappeared for 40 years.. one day a few years ago, I got an extra long email from him(he had found me during my brief stint on fb) the 4 page letter freaked me out (I had printed it out to read it properly).. seems he had been pining for me all these years and proceeded to spill his hearts desire.. to say the least.. I went thru a myriad of emotions reading the proclamation.. one of which was anger cuz in the end, he said he couldn't leave his wife, he just needed to "GET IT OFF HIS CHEST".. I responded, not too friendly like, and proceeded to delete my fb account.. oddly enough.. just months before, I was thinking to myself how cool it would be if there was a long lost love out there just waiting to find me again.. not quite what I was hoping for but.. as they say.. be careful what you wish for! 
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I have.. mind you it was years ago when I was a teenager.. I had fallen for one of my older sister's closest friends.. we had a brief relationship then he disappeared for 40 years.. one day a few years ago, I got an extra long email from him(he had found me during my brief stint on fb) the 4 page letter freaked me out (I had printed it out to read it properly).. seems he had been pining for me all these years and proceeded to spill his hearts desire.. to say the least.. I went thru a myriad of emotions reading the proclamation.. one of which was anger cuz in the end, he said he couldn't leave his wife, he just needed to "GET IT OFF HIS CHEST".. I responded, not too friendly like, and proceeded to delete my fb account.. oddly enough.. just months before, I was thinking to myself how cool it would be if there was a long lost love out there just waiting to find me again.. not quite what I was hoping for but.. as they say.. be careful what you wish for! Wishing is a great thing but it can take you down the wrong road very easily, sometimes with no return. |
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Wishing is a great thing but it can take you down the wrong road very easily, sometimes with no return. this is true.. I've learned to word my wishes more succinctly as the universe tends to take things in a more 'literal' fashion thankfully I've enough common sense to NOT wander off the beaten track OR down one way streets
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We do, or hopefully do, increase our awareness as we move along. 
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Love recently has taken another turn - mostly online you just meet guys who wants your nude pictures and all that ****. Finding love now looks like never-possible online- but that doesn't stop one from giving a guy that chance - when I 1st fell in love I thought its gonna last for ever but this days men are like wolves so **** love. I rather trade it for a cup of coffee
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Love recently has taken another turn - mostly online you just meet guys who wants your nude pictures and all that ****. Finding love now looks like never-possible online- but that doesn't stop one from giving a guy that chance - when I 1st fell in love I thought its gonna last for ever but this days men are like wolves so **** love. I rather trade it for a cup of coffee Never give up as one bad apple is not the whole box. There are many good men out there that would love to get to know you. Just weed them out.
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YES!! all the time!
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Pains that you can't forget so easily
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