Well, wait a minute, lets not get ahead of ourselves here.


yeah, a lot of us, certainly including me, have things we've been through which have left emotional scars, or led to our being wary of fully opening up to others in certain ways.

But your description of this particular situation is a bit different from the usual, and I think that needs to be examined a bit.

This is someone who you say that you HAVEN'T SEEN FOR YEARS.

Yet you treated her through out this very long "first meet in years," as though you were a long standing married couple who were having a vacation day together.

Most "first meets" of old friends do NOT include picnics in the wilds, followed by home cooked meals, bathing them, and then sleeping together with or without sex. All that would constitute over-the-top, potentially frightening behavior. At least disconcerting, since the behavior does NOT match the idea of "old online friends getting together after years elsewhere."

In short, I think that she has a lot more to ponder than whether or not you are "more of a gentleman than she's dealt with before."

I'd love to have a relationship with a woman where we acted exactly like that, on occasion, too.

However, if a long time friend went in ONE meet, directly from "hey how have things been for you for the last few years we've been apart," to "let me feed you in the middle of nowhere, run you ragged on a hike, take you home and feed you again, then BATHE you and bed you down while I nuzzle with you," I can tell you I would be VERY nervous.

You can help who you fall in love with, despite popular belief.


You may not be able to help who stimulates your dopamine reaponse causing you to 'get butterflies' but that isn't love, love is a choice that you can constantly choose and work at, problem is people are lazy, and want to say things like "can't help who you fall in love with' thereby shifting personal responsibility away from them.