My girlfriend and I were having sort of a debate today about honesty. I can't help but notice when I'm looking through profiles and deleting nasty pictures, I'm a reader. So I wind up reading lots of profiles. One of the things that stand out on women's profiles is honesty.

In every other profile, they say the same thing. "Looking for an honest man." But the thing is, when they find one, they seem to not know what to do with him. The honest guy gets walked away from. It's like, they say they want honesty. But in reality, they can't handle it. So what's a man to do? It's like,da.mn if you do and da.mn if you don't. I know this is a fact because I've had it to happen to me several times over the years. What do you think?

True.
Some of them can't handle honesty and sometimes you can be made to look like a bad person mainly coz you were honest, depending on the scenario ofcourse.
They prefer honesty when it turns out in their favor
yet i personally think It's always best to be honest...

its a conundrum isn't it...
honesty always the best policy..

Do you think it's a bit like the old saying.. good guys finish last?

Yeah, I read a lot of profiles of men looking for an honest woman. I guess it goes both ways.

Honesty from the start. I talk to alot of guys that there profile says one thing and when you talk to them its totally different. They are not where there profile says they are. So if you want to be honest, why not have a profile that is honest.

Honesty is subjective at best based on one's personal definition of what 'honest' means.

She may actually mean integrity (they are related but different) she may mean she wants a man that when he says "ill be home at 10pm" that she can count on him neing there

what she may not want is a man thats honest and says "honey you should really not eat that extra slice of pizza because you're starting to gain a few, and I don't want to hear you whine about your jeans not fitting tou well"

Honesty is good, when asked a question, but many just volunteer their honest opinion. ...Then whine when it isn't received well.

Ok, I will go for this. If a guy says he is interested in me, and he is separated, I say no thanks, you're married. If a guy just wants an intimate encounter, I say no thank you. I know that man is at least honest with what he is looking for, and I can say no and we move on.

Life is simpler and better if ya just tell the truth
Yep
Sometimes it hurts

But your not up all night thinking about your lie

IMO this can usually be translated to:
"Looking for an honest man. And by that I mean I can trust you. It's about how I feel. Do I feel you are being honest. Do I trust that you are being honest. You may feel you are being honest, but I may not, and it could be solely on me, but that's what I'm basing my decisions on. Not what you think about yourself and your own honesty."

"Not to mention, are you honest about the things I care about, or do you just prattle on honestly about crap I don't care about. It's not just being honest, but how you use it practically. Also, just because you're honest that doesn't mean you will be awarded brownie points for anything. If you're honest that you like to bang kangaroos, I'm not going to say to myself 'well, at least he was honest!' and pretend it doesn't matter.

"And of course I don't mean treat me like your therapist. I don't need you to be honest about the feelings you had for your uncle in his speedo when you were 12. And I sure as hell don't want to go on a first date with a guy whose honest about living with his parents and broke because his ex wife broke his heart took all his money and how he honestly feels all women are evil."


Most guys get walked away from by most women.
And vice versa.
There's no holy magic badge you earn that guarantees you won't get walked away from.
There's no virtuous path guaranteed to reach xanawomendu on the first try.
All men will fail with women far more than they ever succeed.
And vice versa.
That helps make those few successes so great.


Stop looking for shortcuts and absolutes and tricks to fool the system to feel self righteous about being entitled.
"But you said you wanted honesty. And I lived up to my idea of honesty if not yours. So I win and you're the a-hole for not being truthful about really wanting honesty."


I think 99.99999% of the time the profile is meaningless for anything other than to discern a desire to spend an hour in their company at applebee's.

I think it should not be used like the nutrition chart on the side of a box of cereal that you can then sue her if she doesn't always and forever live up to what you think are the exact measurements of what's inside.

The real problem of Honesty is its connection with trust and credibility.People has a significant difficulty to trust and /or to believe others;then;the majority of persons are essentially dishonest; only a few are credible at almost 100%.People is more negative than positive in this matter of Honesty and Trust.

A lot of people says lies unnecessarily;then; they are dishonest and liars;they live like that everyday.

When a person luckily find an "honest" person in his/her "road"; it's always very difficult to trust this person at 100%. Only time and actions will change the mentality about honesty,trust and credibility....and lies and truths.

THE TRUTH IS: WE USE OUR OWN YARD STICK TO SEE IF OTHERS MEASURE UP....ALL

GAMES ARE JUST FOR THE PAYOFF, YOU PLAY YOU GET YOUR REWARD AND ITS NOTHING

NEW TO THE PERSON THEY HAVE PLAYED MANY TIMES...AND THE BELIEF IS ''THE

PROBLEM IS OUT THERE'' THEY NEVER OWN THERE PART......

I agree sometime is good to tell the truth. ..it sucks but it 's the truth

I think honesty is the best policy no matter what:
"Honey, do these pants make me look fat?"
"No, honey, you make the pants look fat."

"Honey, why do you love me?" (my favorite one)
"Beats me, but the sex is great!"

All joking aside, I think someone who has nothing to hide or be ashamed of is not afraid to be honest and demand honesty from his/her partner.
Without honesty there is no relationship.

Honestly that would work if that is all that women/men was looking for.. Just cause one is honest does not mean that is the whole package...

If they are honest but always whining about what they can't find or have, then it don't matter how honest they are it would not get them the person looking for that..

When women/men put things in a profile they are looking for more then one trait... That just happens to be one of them...

Honestly it is up to each person to decide what they want sure they could nick pick the next person's profile as well..

Normally I find when one says they want one that is honest is one that will be honest with them what they want out of life and a relationship~~ So I guess it all depends while one is readying what one takes from it..

I totally agree that some women cant handle honesty if it doesnt work in their favor, but I also think a little sensitivity can go a long way when conveying the truth, and lets face it... Many people lack the sensitivity gene.

Interestingly enough, I have also noticed that the people who pride themselves the most on being brutally honest, are the people who cant handle a drop of criticism when they themselves are the object of it

And I agree with Texasgal. Balanced women dont only look for a man who is nice or honest. They also yearn for a man who is NOT one-dimensional in scope , who is funny , has compatible interests,financially independent, sexually and romatically compatible, and who isnt whiney or clingy.

It's no different than when a guy says that he is looking for a nice simple girl. That isn't the only thing they are looking for in a woman , is it?

Just the other day I decided to do some volunteering again. I was going through some of the women's profiles this time when I came across this picture that wasn't as bad as some I've seen. But still not what this site is OK with. She had on what looked like a man's button down shirt. Her boobs were about to fall out of it. And down at the bottom of the unbuttoned shirt was just enough crack to see Miss Bush.

I deleted the picture. The next day I had a message from her wanting to know why I deleted the picture. I explained to her as nice as I could that it went against the site's terms of service to post nude pictures. I told her as nice as I could that her boobs were about a hair from seeing nip. And Miss Bush was in plain sight. And that I could have sent her profile up to corporate for deletion. And that they would have deleted her profile on the spot if one them had caught it instead of me.

I was honest with her. I told her the truth. and I was nice about it. But I still got cussed and fussed at by this woman. And I've noticed that on dating sites, at least that one, you can't be honest with a lot of the women. No matter how nice you are.

They say that being honest is the best policy. And I know that's the way it should be. But I have also noticed that for a lot of men being honest is dating death. Also, I hate to say it, but it's the truth. When a man is honest with a woman, it usually means no sex for a while. Because no matter how diplomatic or nice the guy tries to be, the woman turns it around to something that the poor guy never said. Then he winds up with an ice box to sleep next to. Or, on the couch. In a lot of cases, guy can't win.

people can fall in love but not be able to hold onto it if they don't know how to build trust.
being open and honest helps build that. even when you have to talk about difficult subjects.

Integrity and honesty is the most important thing you can create for yourself.

keep it sacred at all costs!

Another thing though.... many of those who are honest, many times also put everything out on the table too quickly, and try too hard to make others see what they are about, and remove all mystery, and become a honey-do or a "restaurant waiter" and end up looking more like a servant, trying to be the "good guy or gal", and he-she loses his-her power and appears "weak" even though he-she isn't...

the "bad boys or girls" can look much more enticing in comparison...

A person should try to find a happy medium, and be relaxed within him-her-self, and just "be" and dole out truth when it comes his-her way, and not worry what others think. Most people aren't stupid, and will eventually recognize a "strong" person, and one who makes patience their true friend will have the world at their fingertips.