Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't
Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to d o something
Or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Amen and that was hilarious. So true, so true

YEAH BUDDY

IF THEY ONLY KNEW

Salsero -- I read this yesterday and thought it was great; I read it again today and it's great -- thanks

Is there going to be a quiz?

Welcome Salsero

I think there should be a quiz and this should be required reading in all schools. Salsero publish this and when I am old enough I will run for president and if I win draft a bill.

omg your just what i've been looking for

1. Men are NOT mind readers. DOH?

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. YOU'RE BIG BOYS.. IF YOU WANT sex DON'T LEAVE THE SEAT up CUZ IF WE SIT in THE BOWL? THAT WAS THE OFF SWITCH!!

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. NO PROLEM.. I'LL WATCH.. YOU DO YARDWORK

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way. OH?? WELL.. BEFORE YOU GO.. YOU MAKE A 'GAME PLAN' THEN UPON DEPARTURE/ARRIVAL.. YOU EXECUTE THAT PLAN OF ACTION.. THEN WHEN ALL IS DONE AND YOU RETURN HOME... touchdown!!!

1. Crying is blackmail. NOT IF YOU HIT ME FIRST..

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! I PREFER NIKES APPROACH.. JUST DO IT...

1 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question. MAYBE...........

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. OMG.. I'D GO TO MY GF'S FOR PROBLEM SOLVING.. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor. IF IT'S LASTED 17 MONTHS.. I'LL NEED A LAWYER NOT A DOCTOR

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 7 DAYS?? THAT'S GENEROUS..

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't
Expect us to act like soap opera guys. YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T AFFORD THE LINGERIE ANYWAY..

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. WHY.. YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE?

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BEING CLEAR RULE..

1. You can either ask us to d o something
Or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. LIKEWISE...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. SORRY.. AND YES HE DID!!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. THAT'S A PLUM.. NOW YOU DO!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that. WE DO TOO.. WE'RE JUST A LIL MORE DISCRETE ABOUT IT IS ALL...

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later. SO WHY NOT JUST GET IT OVER WITH NOW?

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear. PARDON???

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. HOW BOUT THOSE RATTY BRIGHT ORANGE SWEAT PANTS AND 4X HOODIE?

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. GUESS THAT ENDS THAT CONVERSATION HUH

1. You have enough clothes. YEAH.. ALL OF YOURS

1. You have too many shoes. YOU WERE LOOKING AT YOUR CLOSET AGAIN..

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! NO.. YOU ARE A ROUND!

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. SO THATS WHY MOST MEN STATE THAT IN THEIR PROFILES...


ok folks.. just me having some fun here is all

brilliant!!!!!!

OMG Z SIS!!!

I know.. I got a lil carried away.. but it was SUCH fun


I've been inspired today.. but not tellin how

Hear this one before but funny still..

Great rebuttal! Funny!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

LOL.

and the last one kicks ass! Talk about reframing!

=============================
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

Theres actually some truth in that, women see colour on average 20% better than men.

phitttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

WOW! I guess you guys really like this one. I actually take it with me on a every first date and hand it to the girl for a good start.........I am just kidding .... LMAO

Both of those are halarious!!!!

"i seem to have misplaced my rulebook..."

-W.C. Fields at the poker table

Mauve is lighter than plum. Ha ha ha.