Jenny has been crying daily about the fight between her parents. There was a huge misunderstanding and they are fighting daily about it. The issue is so serious that her father is staying with his friend now. I can`t see her crying so should I get involved here and talk to them or let them figure it out themselves? Any other suggestion will also help.

PS. I have already made a great impression with them and they like me

It is always advisable to stay out of family affairs Jimmy. You have not achieved family status yet. Just showing concern for jenny and her parents is enough in my opinion.

My thoughts exactly
Be there for a shoulder to cry on.
My advice don't say anything against the parents.
Be mutual.
Show love

Ditto.
No one will thank you later for interfering.
Just be there for her.

No interference. No one f@c@'s with family

Yup, stay out of family feuds. Be there for the GF. Give her a shoulder to cry on. But don't get involved and don't take sides.

Oh..just came back after a discussion with her mom. In last 30 min, she kept crying while telling me the issue. Yes I have met them only once and yes I may not be a part of their family but she calls me "son" and today also she explained me things like that. Still you guys feel I should not get involved, I feel a part of me wants to help them.

You can do what you feel in your heart. But remember sometimes they might end up finding solutions to their problems then you end up being the bad guy here. This happen to a friend of mine. Best luck to where ever you decide to do.

That is exactly what happens.
Each will try to sway you to their side.

When they make up, you are odd-man out.

Being involved by listening should be a good thing as long as you don't say anything negative. Sometimes the best therapy is to get someone talking, sometimes they can sort things out themselves. From there it may help to get them to think about what they like about their spouse.

Getting involved in In-law troubles, especially when they are acting like outlaws, is a good way to commit relationship suicide.

You have neither the age, experience, or status to allow yourself to be sucked into this drama. If it is too much for your significant other to deal with offer her confidential private counseling and stay out of it.

And even if she thinks she does I would stake big money on neither does your significant other. Of course she is upset but as and adult she will have to establish boundaries or you can expect this drama to be a chronic feature in your life together. Do you really want that?

Apple rarely falls very far from the tree. If your Mother in law is enlisting others/outsiders in family fights, seriously unfair/unethical tactics you have a really good predictor what you will be facing in future conflicts in your relationship. Not good news if you get serious with this relationship, marry, have a kid, and financial matters conjoined.

Or are you just trying to be a hero in someone else's dramas. Maybe to feel control over an adult relationship because some of your own you have not managed so well? Something Mom in law may have figured out already and making you the heavy since it will be easier to manipulate you than a closer relative?

Backing away, becoming selectively deaf, is the best course.

Even if it is upsetting your significant other she is the one who has to deal with this. Crying, and acting chronically hysterical about something, is a poor coping skill. At the very least very immature.

It may be a little presumptive but I sure hope you are using protection in your intimate life because it is not unusual for young people to create a pregnancy to try and hold warring parents/family together over a "new" Baby and it usually only makes matters worse.

Well I am in both the sides so I had a chat with her mom and then her dad. Found the issue which is causing the misunderstanding. Spend some time with jenny to console her and making plans how to resolve the issue.
The issue is related to trust and some misunderstanding which is causing the fight, it feels so childish when you hear it but it became so serious. Anyway the plan is to bring them back together and develop the trust back.
Any ideas??

Sounds like you are an 'askhole'..

Hahaha well I believe in concept of marriage and helping people who need them. I took the advice you guys gave and just went for listening from both sides but after listening to that stupid reason I had to do something...So I discussed with jenny and only when she is fine I will do anything. Hence I am back asking for ideas or plans

As much as you care for jenny hun , and her parents think of you as a son, you ve known these people for a grand total of 2 months.

YOU DONT REALLY KNOW these people.

You dont know their marriage dynamic over a 20 year span , and if this "trivial" fight is just a small symptom of a massive problem that they need professional guidance for.

You dont even know if this couple's marriage has run its course and if maybe they need to be apart to grow individually.

You have a great heart and great intentions but you are not qualified to assess what is good for this couple jimmy ,and you run the risk of messing up these people's lives in your well-meaning effort to help.


Furthermore, once you have interferred in their relationship , are you prepared for them to keep coming to you when other conflicts arise between them? And are you prepared for her parents to return the favour when you and jenny have conflicts and they decide to interfere in YOUR lives?

And if her parents decide on their own to separate permanently during the course of your advising them, do you realise that Jenny is very likely to blame you for sabotaging her parents marriage?

That sounds like an irrational assumption, doesn't it ? But guess what ? Irrational is what many people become when it comes to conflict in their family.

You are not Jenny or her parent's counsellor hun. You are not even officially their family .

You are jenny's boyfriend. Listen to her when she laments , Hold her when she cries.Make her laugh when you can. Continue to be the awesome boyfriend that you always are , but consider referring them to a marriage counselor hun. Try to stay in your lane.

I hope everything works out for you guys.

I understand that peggy but atleast one try is a good chance to take. Also I am not getting directly involved but just giving ideas and support to jenny. I had faced this kind of issues with my mom and dad when I was a kid but I worked with my uncle and reunited them. I have heard the love and pain in their voice so giving one go at it is not a bad idea. I discussed this with Jenny and she also understands that giving them one chance should help in their closure. It can be a romantic dinner or trip or anything else which would make them to discuss things before making any decision.

People are adamant and take everything on their ego. They spend their remaining life with that ego and wait for other to a step, a deadlock you see. Anger and ego overrun love between them and then some external help is required to resolve such differences and this is a classic case of ego clashing.

Helping your parents, who are your family and whose relationship dynamic you were directly a witness to for decades, is totally different to interfering in another's family's relationship dynamic that you have witnessed for 2 months, but I can see you have made up your mind. I truly hope everything works out well in the end for everyone. I'm rooting for all of you.

Thanks peggy but yeah I want to try it....
Any bright ideas which could help them to open up?

You seem like a good guy who is only trying to help but stay out of family disputes, these things seem to workout all by themselves, become invisible my friend, good luck to you.

Keep up the good work. If you truly care, you may do wonders where angels fear to tread.