This question is mainly for the guys, but ofcourse women can share their thoughts as well.
How do guys feel about the woman making the first move in the OFFLINE dating game? And if a woman makes the first move in showing interest in a guy, online or offline, do guys generally prefer for women to take a back seat in the wooing process after that?.. as in let the guy do the pursuing from there? I'm NOT referring to the courtship process. I am specifically talking about that baiting period, where interest level is still being assessed.

Ladies who make the first move are generally courageous. I like 'em 'cos the fire and energy in da relationship will not go out. I respect them so much, but they must allow the man to continue with the wooing....

On or off line, hats off to women who are so confident in themselves , that they can actually, make that first move on a guy, and then generally sit back, and let the guy begin the courtship process... Oops, I hear my clock alarm go off, dream shattered, time to wake up and begin a new work day ...but that was a nice dream... Some dreams have possibility of becoming true... Hope that is one... All I am saying ....

It's not who takes the lead that matters. It's how they go about it.

I suspect that from your own side of things, you have run across males who's way of showing that they are "taking the initiative" involves ignoring your own sensibilities, refusing to listen to you, and generally treating you as though you don't know what you do and don't like.

And I have run across women who decided to push things more from their side, which was flattering in the extreme in and of itself, but since they actually RESENTED the fact that I wasn't responding by taking the reigns from them immediately, their "initiation" felt like hostility to me.

So that's the trick. It depends very much on what exactly is in your mind while you are doing whatever you do, more than whatever it is you do, that determines whether it will work or not.

My response:

Wait! Women do that????

Yup, I don't see why they cannot... They have the capability , the stamina, the confidence, the right tools and all the other good stuff they proclaim to possess , to long to list here, yup... Why not??
Maybe, it's something to do with rejection, and if that's the case...just saying...

Go ahead, make the "first move", it's not like the guy is going to call the cops.

Well..Personally offline I'm very shy .. extremely shy.. so the only way I can meet a woman is if she approaches me first.. and even then I usually think she is just being nice to me.. and is not trying to make the first move... well unless she sits down beside me offers to buy me a drink.. gives me a key to her hotel room.. and then tells me she prefers cash but will take a credit card... usually at that point !.I'm pretty sure she is interested in me and is not just being nice...wink wink...

Women who make the first move are very courageous. Here in my countrt its almost impossible to see that happening since there is a traditional belief that males must be in charge.
Personally if a woman makes the first move on me i admire her and she has my utmost respect. i really dont mind if she does that

Women who make the first move are very courageous. Here in my countrt its almost impossible to see that happening since there is a traditional belief that males must be in charge.
Personally if a woman makes the first move on me i admire her and she has my utmost respect. i really dont mind if she does that

Hi guys!Im Tim! Nice to meet you!I had to comment on this post.I love it when a woman makes the first move.Being Hyperperceptive,Analytical and an Empath,It eliminates any guessing I have to do and calms the mind enough to focus on being myself...a hopeless romantic!lol If she is the same, you may just witness a lightning bolt... so stand back!lol

Depends on how they make it and who makes it.
Like if they're attractive or not, and if they do things like write me a note for their friend to deliver.



I wonder what exactly you think is a "first move?"
Saying "hi" to the cute person behind you at the checkout line in a grocery store is a "first move."

So what does "take a back seat" mean after that?
She never calls and asks me to do anything?
Waits for me to constantly chase her in all things?
I'd prefer she was engaged in the process if that's the alternative.


There's no difference.
It's all the same process.
It all starts from the first conversation no manner how minor.

Differentiating between a "baiting period" and "interest assessment level" is just setting up "game" playing.

I'm so proud of you guys for being so evolved!None of you thus far seem to feel that your manhood is threatened when the woman makes the first move in wooing . Yet , in one of the threads where the issue of the woman offering to pay for the date arose, I got the feeling that men were more traditional and conservative in their thinking. I'm interested in the liberal attitude towards women initiating the wooing process versus the more traditional attitude towards women initiating the paying process on a date. Hmmmm...

It is flattering when women make the first move to show you they are interested, but I think a gentleman always should pay for the privilege of a woman's time unless its something like her taking you out for your birthday or a holiday gift.

think its sexy when a woman makes the first move,,,smilen,,

Just to be clear...I do not depend on a woman to approach me. I do that myself when I want to! lol I just like to be chased!

Garsh, is that all a girls gotta do? so you are saying, once a guy 'gets it', that the girl is interested in him, the guy will step up his game?

Phew... game playing and baiting periods? Are we talking sports, or the search for a compatible partner?

If a woman approached me and expressed interest I'd be honored. I would prefer that there be equal effort in exploring compatibility after the introduction.

shut the front door!