I consider myself a reasonable, intelligent person. A year ago, my ex-fiance, whom I was with for 4 years, cheated and ran off to another city with a woman he knew for 6 weeks. It was a total shock and not at all expected. (He has since married her)This not only affected me, but also my teenage daughter, who has had several episodes of "acting out" since that time. It has taken a year for me to work through the grief and betrayal and finally reach a point where I have moved on. I admit, where he is concerned, I don't think I will ever quite get over the heartache or the anger over what happened, but I don't dwell on it either. In fact, I've been feeling pretty good in recent history. Tonight, I get a phone call from a guy who was a mutual acquaintance of ours, and who sometimes has the occasion to be working on a job with my ex. We haven't spoken in several months. He and the ex had just finished having dinner together. Naturally, the ex came up in our conversation. We had to cut the call short, but somehow I got the sense something prompted this acquaitance to call me. Anyway, I feel agitated and worked up because it just makes the unpleasant memories flood back...and I don't want to remember........... Has anyone else encountered this? Unpleasant, angry feelings surfacing many months or years later when the "hot" button is pushed?

Have a coke and a smile to take the bad taste from your mouth and celebrate freedom from deception

search your heatr for the forgiveness that you must embrace....and then move on. Wouldn't hurt to tell him that either. Then, nothing is holding you back....assuming the day comes where no bitterness remains.

Thanks No Psychos...I think I'll do that. Need to get my equilibrium back......

Hurt can have many layers to it.

I'd sit with those feelings for a little bit to see what it's all about.

I hate it when random things can trigger old wounds. Not much you can do except acknowledge it again and to release it again.

yea.. don't worry about it.. its human.. sometimes it takes some of us longer to get over the hurt. Just keep reminding yourself that... a man that could do this to you.. could not ever had totally loved you. Feel blessed he was taken out of your life.. so that you would be available.. for the one you are meant to be with.

Its going to get easier.. this I know.

Bay..you are absolutely right about random things triggering old wounds. And it happens when you least expect it. Totally knocked me out of my peaceful frame of mind for a bit.... and you are right....I have to release it again.

alls i can say hun his loss, yur a doll.!!!!

Awww...Thank you Seahawks.

It is a drag when old tender spots no longer realized as tender get pressed. In time healing becomes more full.

Nah, usually I let it all out every full moon for 3 days. LOL

me and my ex gf share a son who lives with me..i love my son ..i know the buttons 3 years now ..sorry to hear of your troubles but try to remind yourself ..it couldve been a lot worse,you coulve married him b4 he did this ..good luck in your endeavors

it happens quite often, but it's a matter how we deal with it.

Yeh, it torks me off. But,gotta deal with it. My ex even trys to visit my folks on the holidays. Grit your teeth and think nice thoughts.

Went and had a piece of cake.... feel better now...

When you get to the point you can say to yourself" he had to do what he had to do to be happy and I can accept that", that will be the day it stops bothering you. You are still harboring the pain, dejection, ect.... It took me about a year to be able to say that about my ex who basically did the same thing except the woman was his high school sweet-heart, and really feel it. Just remember (this is my philosophy) the pain and hatred we hold inside of ourselves only hurts us, it does not effect the other person, so the sooner we can accept and move on the better people we will be inside ourselves. It's okay if you think I am crazy, it works for me, lol.

You know what else will make you feel good?

Hiring a hitman.

But don't settle for a cheap one. bad things can happen (trust me on this).

want me to come down there and bust a cap in him?

Killing the dog does not cure the bite..... I just don't want him in my head... haven't thought him in a long time until that call tonight..