Frustrated members do often put the blame of their romantic frustration on their dating sites. But unless a dating site is absolutely incompetently managed, such grievances are ungratefully unfair. Within my own family and social circles I know of perfect matches that evolved in dating sites. Dating sites are meant to expand the probability of romantic encounters. They are not meant to provide a sure satisfaction to members expectations. When dating sites develop immunity to the probability factor, then it would presage Apocalypse now. Meanwhile, probabilistic laws of nature define that most of our expected ones turn us down, while we turn down most of our expecting ones...

The net is probably now the most comomon way for people to meet even if it then only leads to friendship, or not, more more.

I think an important point her is that when we see something or somebody that looks too good to be true then usually it is. It is hard to trust online at the best of times.

Somebody might be being perfectly genuine with me and if that appeals to me then it is still more likely to come across as what I want to hear rather than somebody who is a perfect match for me. Difficult and yeah, frustrating.

Very well put!!

I see it as....if your meant to meet one another you will. You never know....who will respond to that next email that you send to him/her. Some could be pleasantly surprised. One never knows that can happen....

May I just draw the attention of my fellow-men to the fact that probability works well for us, comparing to other species. In the wildlife arena, most of the herd males are doomed to a lifetime of virtual sex, contenting themselves with watching the chosen male leaders mating with the entire female choice... so let's count our blessings...

indeed, Puffins, the power of hope is boundless, that's why even the frustrated ones keep on hanging about...

Puffins, may I a personal question, however not too personal one...

RIGHT ONE PUFFINS!!!!! THE SAYING GOES WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!!!!! I LIVE BY THAT OR TRY TOO ANYWAY!!!

Hey, papa man....couldn't agree more. From some fun and interesting personality tests I've taken on different sites, Ihave learned that I can expect to date 100 women to fit 2. And from that, I can expect to build a relationship with1/2. In my daily world there are not 10 women that I know on even the vaguest of terms. With panache and optimism I'm moving ahead with extreme prejudice towards beating the odds and tickling the s*** out of a deserving woman who is seeking the rare and unusual!!!!

quote - "May I just draw the attention of my fellow-men to the fact that probability works well for us, comparing to other species. In the wildlife arena, most of the herd males are doomed to a lifetime of virtual sex, contenting themselves with watching the chosen male leaders mating with the entire female choice... so let's count our blessings... "

Yes but that also means they see it as we doo, herd anuimals do not have the intelligence required to think about sex and partnerships in the way we do.

the turth is that we still behave like herd animals!

woman still like to look nice so that they have a better ppotential of men appraoching them, men like to sppear strong and reliable (the genuine ones) exactly like an alpha male lion would!

Stop talking crap lol
:D :D :D

It's obviously generally accepted that dating sites are good in principle... as for anything else associated with humans, everything in it eventually goes down to us... we are the ones to shape it as either a great site or just a l--sy one...

I agree with you, NewFuture, basically we are beasts with some extra features... the lower our culture gets, the more beastly we are... why are you so angry...

PBB -- You make a good point. For the most part, a dating site will not be the cause of the failures of its members. The reality is that any dating site is nothing more than its accumulated membership, and it's the people who join, not the site itself, who will determine the success or failure for each member.

And I have seen that different sites work better or worse for different people. There are subjective elements involved -- different preferences, different expectations.

I think that anything which expands one's circle of possible contacts can, in general, be a good thing. Not to say that each new potantial contact will turn out well -- it's still hit-and-miss, anybody's guess -- but new options appear. It all boils down to math; easier to find a "good one" out of 100 than out of 2. In theory, anyway.

My own observation is that many of the people who show up on dating sites are already so jaded and negative that, not only do they make it difficult for people to want to get to know them (by gender-stereotyping, blanket accusations/statements, etc.), but they will actually sabotage their own possible successes by simply refusing to act on opportunities which may occur. That gives them more to complain about later on, I guess.

So it's the proverbial mixed message -- "Why can't I mean a good man? Oh, by the way, all men are scum." I tell people that, if one site doesn't work for them, try another one. There are certainly enough of them out there. But if they continue to refuse to see people as individuals, there will never be much incentive for them to actually try to get to know someone.

The world looks pretty bleak when you're wearing scum-colored glasses. And then, it really doesn't matter WHICH site you're using....

sorry...

just got back to this thread...Papa...you could ask what ever you'd like, I still have the option not to reply back...

I lost my scum colored glasses when I walked in here, over the last yyear, I see through the eyes of re birth, You know thta Lex...but any ways..it is what it is.. love is a freakin crap shoot..what ever happens happens...anyways its far too early in the day to start thinking this deep..let us dance the dance of Llamas!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

whaddaya want I been up for a few days and my brain took a crap about 6 am this morning

I'm in it for friends first...The rest..I'll let nature handle.
xoxoPeaches.

in best Tom Hanks League of Their Own imitation....
adjust baseball cap...

"There's no CRYING in baseball!....There's NO CRYING in baseball!"

Do I go to my corner now?
xoxoPeaches.

Hey, I just had a really good example of what I'm talking about here. I reflexively checked my new MM options a few minutes ago, as I do when I'm bored or need some new satirical material.

OK, so there were about a dozen new ones. Four or five of them had completely blank profiles, except for some vapid headline. A couple more had "I don't know what to write about myself, so anything you want to know, you'll have to ask." Yeah, I'll get right on that.

One had a pic that was obviously taken from a porno site, so that's another automatic No. A couple of the others seemed to have built their entire existences around the consumption of alcohol.

So, basically a 0 out of 12 for any signs of creativity or intellect. This is not an anomaly. I probably hand out 40-50 Nos to every one Maybe.

But how is that the site's fault? All they did is add a feature, which people can either use or ignore, as a sort of additional "search tool" for people who think it may be of use. I don't see how anyone can blame the site if MM doesn't work for them. No one is forcing anybody to use it.

It's the PEOPLE, people. A dating site is only going to be as good -- or bad -- as the people who use it. If you want a site that SCREENS new members, well, they have those, too, but I have heard some bad things about those....

And -- just my opinion -- JSH has the best people of any of the 9,957 sites I've tried. Nothing else is even close. And the fact that none of them are datable for me is NOT the fault of the site....!

My glasses may be dark, but I wiped the scum off a long time ago -- right after I got divorced, actually....!

9,957!! lmao damn!! but, Your right, It's the people..The site Thank Goodness is free, It's the people who are responsible for making it work for them.
xoxoPeaches.