why are men so confused in what they want? they say they look for a women who has this and that but when they find her they don't know how to appreciate her.. I don't get it

When they find she has this and that they sometimes find she also has the other thing...

Maybe they want her to have other qualities in addition to this or that. For example, I want to find a guy who's really good looking and really smart, but if he's needy and clingy and has a bad temper, it's over. You can want an apple, but if it's got worms in it you throw it away. Or at least I do....

because... the girls all go com - come here come here get away get away

Well you should stop picking up men at the bar

Men know exactly what they want, and how to get it. But they don't always want it badly enough to make payments on it for the rest of their lives.

Well sad fact is most People think we know what we want when we get it we realize it wasn't what we really want after all. Kind of like shopping for a new pair of shoes look at how many pairs we try on before we buy and they are the same colour we want.

As time goes by we find that exact pair of shoes and sometimes it isn't even the style, colour, or designer we thought we wanted

I don't know man...I got a lot of shoes

You don't really describe confusion in what they want.


There is a huge difference between "confused in what they want" and not knowing how to "appreciate her."

At best you are inviting a new thread with an OP of "why are women so confused that when the guy doesn't value or chase her or be who she wants as much as she thinks he should then she thinks he's the one that's confused in what he wants?"

Two observations:

* there's what men (or women) want FROM a mate, and then there's what they want to do in response. They aren't the same thing, and they aren't intrinsically linked.

* you might want to think about what "appreciate her/me" means to you, too. Lots of people don't realize that they have a list of expectations they built up since childhood, which actually have little or nothing to do with real life. If nothing else, they overlook actually TELLING the guy (or gal) what they expect, because they assume everyone thinks the same as they do.

We can't go there Pancho is worried over all my shoes

him: " why do you have so many pairs of black boots?"

her " these have tassels and these have buckles and these have a nice wedge heel and these are ankle boots, these have zippers and a spike heel for dress and these.."

him: " never mind I am sorry I asked"

^^^^^^^^ exactly

in my experience I may want her to have this or that, she claims she's this, that, and more however it soon comes to light that she is only really this, and significantly lacking in that, but she still claims to be this and that, and that im lucky I found her, when really I may just be settling for 'this' but then later the 'this' goes away too, and then I'm out

This thread needs to be called "Why are people so confused" because a lot of people seem to be confused by both genders....

Lol. This goes for women also.

leave it to Miss Rains to use shoes as an analogie. but thats ok. i would use cars. you cant say what car you want till you see it. and thats ok.

because we have two heads speaking for us.. at all times.. gets a little confusing if you know what I mean