I haven't been on this site long, but within a couple of weeks I have had two members make plans to meet (there suggestion), I even double check with them so they can back out, then they disappear on the day, delete their accounts and block you on their phones!

This is sick behaviour. I can understand nervousness, in which case they should just say. However this is not the case, they are just men getting some kind of twisted kick.

Gives dating sites a bad name.

Why would it give the sites a bad name? It's not their fault. Blame the ones that flake out...right?

Totally agree with you.......ive had a few like that.........talk then they disappear or a man contacts you...........

It's nice to know that other women on here are experiencing this and I live in hope that I'll meet a man that's going to follow through.

I'm still trying to get my head around what kind of man sits back and gets pleasure from standing up women? However that being said, I guess they have 'issues' and can't handle a normal sincere relationship because if they had one they wouldn't have time to be online doing this kind of thing/.

Now you see him. Now you don't.

you don't think that happens to just you ladies do you???

I have no idea. I don't know how big the problem is!

if I had to guess
and this is just a guess
I'd say he gets off on the attention
on the thrill of the chase
the back and forth conversation
but as soon as a woman actually wants to make it real..

he runs off to do the whole process with someone new

it is fairly common on line and works in both directions.
i have actually had it happen after the first face to face meeting as well

well...get ready for some psycho babble hahaha

there are people that are hooked on that feeling of being in love
on the acceleration, the excitment, the heart pumping feeling when your phone rings or he or she sends you a sweet and ooey gooey love text


it alters the brain chemsitry and can be addictive

the problem is..that online it may not have any basis in reality
the person you are messaging is showing you but a part of their personality
showing you only some photos
its but a glimpse of who they are and it might not be accurate


people have a tendency to believe that this is 'the one' and get all built up inside with all these expectations of how its going to be when they finally meet..bells and whistles and fireworks going off


when this does not happen they leave disappointed

and if you have already been messaging for awhile
you have already covered a lot of small talk chit chat
most people talk about on a first date

Also happens with 'electronic chatting', all seems to be going okay and then the woman does not answer messages and as seems the norm now in life, people don't enev have the decency to say they are no longer interested - really rude and strange as it's not even like having to say it to some-ones face!

I think this explanation makes sense but in my situation, it was THEM that asked for the date!

It's all a learning experience so I'm learning slowly what to look out for. I

Well you're a long time dead so I'll stick with it a bit longer.

I think a lot of people have.
Especially since a lot of people seem to define "doesn't immediately offer a guarantee, and then lead to the fulfillment, of the long term relationship desired," as someone "wasting their time," or someone they've "wasted their time," on.


I think the majority of people that have ever used online dating regularly have experienced this at least once.


Based on reading profiles the majority of people using online dating now give dating sites a bad name.
A dating site is only as good as its members.
And one thing you'll notice about free dating sites is they all have a lot of the same members (I don't know if pay sites have the same members as the free ones as I have no desire to pay to find out).


Usually the lonely kind.


IMO the easiest thing to do is set up an easy date/meet like for coffee or lunch. Or just something you'd normally do.
Where if they don't show up, it just doesn't matter.

Personally, I just don't see the first meet/date as an actual meet or date. At most it's just two people agreeing on the time and place to offer the opportunity for the first pick up.
Like when you first see someone in real life, you are attracted, and you go up and talk to them.
To me, online dating, the first meet, is just setting that up.
It really doesn't mean anything. If they don't show up it's no different than if the cute guy you noticed in the book shop doesn't come hit on you. You do your thing, you leave, you forget about it.

Online dating sites afford the chance to set up the real life opportunity's to start with people you wouldn't normally run into at the grocery store, the bookstore, the coffee shop, wherever you go in your normal life, it doesn't and shouldn't supplant them.

I am sorry this is going to come out a bit harsh... I could see one going to this great length of phone, making plans then disappear and block but 2.. in such a short space of time. If this was me I would have to ask myself what am I projecting.. This happening in such a short amount of time is a huge red flag to me. Again I don't know you I am only going off the text I am reading.

I have to ask has this been the only two that has wanted to meet. And as someone else has said I look at a meet and greet as nothing more than putting a face to the person I have been chatting with. Then we will decide if we want to go farther or wish each other well.



I don't think this strictly men behavior this type of behavior is personality traits not gender. The thrill of chase that no one ever gets caught. Or they are bored and this is a spice of life for them. It is cruel and leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

Several things could be the reason... Married or in a relationship that is the first one that comes to mind.



I disagree... I think it gives the person a bad name not the site.
I have been here years and have met some wonderful legit people, I have talked with a few flake, and then some out and out phoney fakes.

But let's be honest it is on the internet... Anyone can be anyone they want to out here. And sadly they believe no harm no foul since it isn't real and in fact it is real. Very real to most of us.
And when this happens for what ever reason it hurts.
Best wishes to you in the future.

Normally I would agree regarding coffee but I was in another city for one occasion (although thankfully I was going to be there anyway) and the other supposedly had volunteered to come up to my city many miles away which intimates an expense.

Also you will have cleared your schedule to make time for this person when you could have been somewhere else! Time wasting in more ways than one.

Well I guess I am one of the weird ones. I have flown out of my way for a meet and greet not expecting anything to come of it.
I had to be in NYC and flew to PA

I guess if you feel you wasted time then you wasted time. Me I look at life as an adventure and it was just one more path to explore.

I think if you find time you are spending on dating sites as wasting time then you are probably spending too much time and emotional energy in the fantasy rather than the reality.

Date site dating is just and opportunity to meet and get a thumbnail impression of someone. You are not going to weed out all the members of the "Frog Prince(cess) Association by going through some "process" on line. It will always come down to the in person time and yes some people are toads and just play around. How is that ever different than real life?

I will say that spending a lot of money going to see someone you have not just met by doing something else you would enjoy then you are really setting yourself up to be shot down.

Are there people on line that come with and agenda of punishing any victim for the sins of others or just playing games? Sure.

Is it the sites fault? No way. They make no guarantees and clearly say so. And like some who have basically the same people they don't charge you a lot of money or put you through time wasting loops to appear legit. This one also gives really good "tips" on how to avoid the trolls and if people actually use it try to delete the creeps is why you are finding people disappearing.

Might want to look for members who have been online for a while and actually proved by longevity that they are not scammers.

this

The dating gurus say that if a guy does a disappearing act, he's just not that in to you.
Then why try to make a date? I don't really know either.
I've had that happen too, phone call with a guy, absolutely brilliant. For the first time in yonks someone that peaked my interest, and it seemed mutual as he was equally enthusiastic. He said he call again. That has yet to happen, lol.
Why men do this? No friggin idea. Maybe what TMommy said, just the thrill.

I did once have a bloke who was going to take me to dinner. My gut told me he wasn't going to show, and I was right.
Now I'm thinking, he had offered to pick me up, I declined. No way am I stepping in the car with a bloke I don't know yet. So maybe that's why he didn't show?

oooh no no no

If I am meeting someone for lunch or dinner? I drive my own car
take my purse and cell phone