Ever since I know what attraction means..
I am always attracted to people who can lead
and good decision makers..

I personally don't want to lead.
Even as I salivates over Hollywood Action stars,
Rockband Icons and Sports celebrities,
I believe in my heart & wish someday
I will have someone
who can take care of everything for me
and I will just take care of him.

Fast break...reality check:
I know it will be scarier to back up those words
with actions for me..will take a lot of courage in my part,
since I am bit obsessive..when it comes to self control and independence.

But my mind and heart is one in this:

I believe, I need a man who can lead me.
I believe, I need a man who can say and back it up with action,
(doesn't matter who has bigger income..him or me)
'Be with me..give up your career..take care of me and let me take care of everything else'

If he will tell me, that for him, to take care of everything else,
we need to work hard together first, to reach our targeted goal, I will follow him.
If he will tell me, I should stop working and focus more on him & family matters then I will.

Call me idealistic and a dreamer, but this is the price I require for me to give up, my hard fought independence -
One good man who can lead me.

I don't think anyone would see me as a push over but in my best relationship my partner was the leader when it came down to where the buck finally stopped.

Joe has it right about being a leader not a tyrant (I paraphrase accurately enough I hope).

That is not to say I did not feel as equals as many others pointed out is important.

It is just there will always be times that someone has to have the final say on some things. I believe running things by committee is a sure way to screw things up. And a house divided collaspes pretty fast.

My premise is if you love and trust a Good man it is not hard to let him be the leader of the family. Maybe because I have been taught (biblically) that but also because I have seen it in action by the marriages I hoped to duplicate.

And really I miss the luxury of not having to carry the weight of every decision I have made since he passed. Many of which I have put myself in his mind set (as much as possible) because he was such and excellent, courageous, kind, wise, and decisive leader that moved our family forward in many ways then and since.

It is not to say we wouldn't have gotten there with out him, because we were doing pretty good before he came along, it was just so much easier when he did. That I have your back thing.

I was raised with the idea that a woman is supposed to be obedient.
I was in my late twenties when I started to realize that regardless of merit, men were given a higher position just because they are male.
in Spanish usted, the formal manner of addressing someone was automatically used with a male; while the informal tu was used for females.
I suppose in some way, this is part of the reason I stayed too long in a destructive relationship with a man who was used to being dominant.
on the opposite side, I dated someone who was much less forceful. my greatest impatience was that he had no drive, no ambition to try to help himself. if things needed a solution, I had to be the one to figure it out.
it's a tiring thing to feel like you are the one carrying all the worries.

a balance is better. where each can be strong on their own but have each other to lean on when you need it.

I do not want to be lead.
But unfortunately have been doing it till now.. relationship, family, work... blah blah blah..

I still strongly believe in man doing the lead.
A man need to do his job as a MAN!

Show me a man who leads and I will follow.
Leadership to me is a servant leader.
You lead and I will follow but lead me to a hole you are on your own.

lol Annie.

What are the chances of getting one lol

To me it does not matter. We have our servant leader and that is enough to suffice for now...

That's true and he beats any man lol

Norcal...thank you...this is a perfect way to explain it, IMO.

Preach! Hallelujah!!

Now all we need is a miracle...

Er... which i doubt it will happen

Noooo....! Hope for a miracle was all i had left...

Wife: Why are you hiding under bad you idiot?, be a man and face me when I talk to you.
Husband: This is MY HOUSE and I will hide where ever I want. :D

I read this book call the Father's sin
Tells you the history of how it all began .
Interesting
I also met some of the women at teachers collage. They are really nice but we'll under controlled by older women
He hehe
One woman was pregnant and she told me it was number 7.
I said cool we are told to go and multiply but for me no way girl I want a life. Lol didn't go down weĺl with the old ladies

When you have a long line behind you (your kids) being led, and you are following the leader into what looks like that gaping hole.... do you leave the line, and lead the rest behind you away, or do you doggedly follow?

In some cultures, some women who have been heavily dependent on the man to be the head of the family and the assumed leader, have nowhere to turn to in such scenarios and just follow into the pits.

I remember being in such a fix before I started to slowly regain back my financial independence. You learn the importance of this, and there is no turning back.

Trish, true .... quite enough, for me it was around that too, I think 22 or 23 years.

As my father once said, life is like a painting of a landscape.
It goes up and down hills and through water streams.

Things aren't always going to be easy, but when you have someone you split the burdens.
Difficult times become easier and good times become better, because you're both working in unison.
So in a way there is only one leadership and that can only be achieved together.
That's at least the kind of relationship I want.

I believe in a healthy relationship it would be shared, depending on the issue at hand. The more masculine things, I'd like my man to handle, with my support, and vice versa.
Men and women should complement each other, not (try to) 'dominate' one another.

I hear what you are saying.
In my marriage he made out he was the leader but in reality I was the leader when he did lead it was to follow someone else and not think for himself.

No I would not follow anyone in a hole. I am quite happy to be led or lead with someone who has his head screwed on.
Choices need to be made by both.