Dang, that�s right. Each of us is better in something, so the best is to let the one who is better in solving particular situation to lead, no matter man or woman. That is equality for me.

But it�s very hard to find a partner like that. There is more time some tendence in one or another to control and dominate and eventually often that part supress the other one in one way or another.

Although I do have examples around myself that the ideal is possible and not so rare.

^ Exactly right. Equality is a fantasy. In every relationship, there is the dominant partner who runs the show and the submissive partner who follows their lead. As long as there is mutual respect and understanding, the relationship works well. I could never be paired up with an alpha male. He needs to be submissive to me. I have a strong personality.

think like the idea of Ying/Yang better

that each bring strengths/weaknesses into a relationship

to me the concept of dominate and submissive is too black/white

too simplistic in it's pigeon holing of males and females having to be one or the other

does not really explain the dynamics that are really going on


but that might be just me

I like the idea of ying/yang, it brings to mind strengths and weaknesses. Overall no one should be dominant, but situations do arise where one person is more confident and the couple may chose to let them take the lead. There may also be coaching. "Yes, you're better at this but either I or we need me to improve, so you can coach me and we as a couple have a victory."

yin and yang definitely fits better but even then you will find one of the pair to be more dominant. as long as that doesn't become controlling then it shouldn't be seen as a magic evil

Ladywind
Did you see that doc on Glorivale?
That was an example of men leader over women
Women design for baby making and housework. Some had 15 kids
That's place is on the west coast of the south island

I believe it is a true partnership...In some areas I am stronger and wiser and in others he is..With respect and trust there is no tyrant it is a true partnership that will bring the relationship to as close to perfect for two imperfect individuals...

I saw the first documentary. The frightening thing was everyone looked happy.
I did like that sense of community they had, but one must wonder what goes on when the camera stops rolling??
And their choices for careers are severly limited.

Hi ladywind,

Leadership to where the person is in charge of everything when it comes to have a strong, healthy, deep rooted family. I believe it's good and healthy to have rules. Partnership is the main factor, that means both partners should work together as a team in order to achieve the impossible ideal. Leadership to where both individuals are willing to offer, affection and protective love, attention to needs, clear standards to right and wrong, compassionate, understanding, and a ready willingness to forgive. To live by them perfectly everyday is of course an impossible ideal' ....but to keep trying no matter what, is the essence of greatness.

Are you the reincarnaction of cleopatra?

Maintaining the traditions, culture, rules, and expectations of the family that are more clearly defined over time, a duty to maintain the identity of the family as a whole, as a family.


Sure.
I believe in it as a duty of all in the family to preserve the family.
Assuming of course there is some "normalcy" and a lack of child molestation, and smacking each other around with axe handles.


I would love to see your 4 year old kid ground you for swearing.
And I hope you never spank your kids.
Did you tell them you were going to the grocery store right after work?
Uh oh! I hope you didn't buy them a belt to keep up their diaper!


Wonderful.
When your new spouse that majored in finance with a solid 2.0 average decides to empty the family bank account, max the credit cards, and take out 3 new mortgages and HELOCs on the family home, all in order to invest it because the market wiped out your last 401k but it looks to be headed up now, you'll just sit back and say "well, they're better at investing than I am, and they know finance since they have a degree in it, so it's best to let the one who is better in solving a particular situation to lead."




You don't really know who is better at any given situation until you've actually been through it. Even then, the person that actually takes a "leadership" role may not have been the "best" for the situation, just the one who "stepped up."

Good luck to everyone that says "50/50! It's an equal partnership! Specialization of whomever is best at something!" in finding a partner that also has a list of their qualifications for every situation where you can sit and determine before hand who is going to handle what, when, and how.

I put those words in the book of Ruth in my marriage vows....

Hi lu

Then that calls for a .....MUTINY!!!!

O.zay I'm a little confused oP.. are we talking pulling hair and spanking bottom kind of leading..
or I'm the strong male dominant man.... who stands steadfast at the wheel the helm of the ship pointing it into the oncoming waves keeping the boat up right at all times..?.. because personally I like the pulling the hair and spanking.. leadership role better lol

FAMILY leadership phd...

Ohhhh... yes the keeping the ship Upright at all Times... how about after the children have gone to bed..
can there be be spanking and hair pulling then..?.. pretty please

I used to be so submissive and expected to be led, but some of us women are natural born leaders, and some men are not.

I never did want to be in the lead, and still don't want to, but am forced to

(ladywind... )

this lady and gents is what happens when the one you thought you married turns out to be less than expected in so many ways..and you are then faced with the fact that you must step into the role that you thought he was going to fill.



whether thou goest....I goest quite enough in 20 years