Why do people do this?
Why ask your partner if they are the best lover you have ever had?
I think the past should remain in the past and you only stir up insecurities and perhaps jealousy by asking questions.
I am not interested in a SO's past lovers.
Is this an important aspect of a relationship or not?
I say no, don't go there.

Humm all I can say is if the past lover is no longer and they are there now then they must be doing something right...

Even if many do seem to compare lovers in our mind does not mean it is something that should be discussed. Well unless one of them makes the comment they are the best they have had... then it is more of a compliment instead..

But don't feel that someone should ask the other how they compare in bed with past lovers...

When people garden they don't usually just cut the stem of a weed.
They stick in a tool and try to dig up all the roots.

These questions are tools.

People ask questions about their SO's past life, love life, because it offers a lot of information, a lot of feedback, many roots to define how it grew, what it is, and what it's growing in to.

No one is asking a question like "am I the best lover you ever had?" to hear "yes" and nothing else.


That's the point.
Some people need "liquid courage" to talk to people.
In relationships some people need emotional icebreakers to churn and froth things in order to feel safe to talk honestly, they need to know the consequences.
Nothing worse than being in a relationship in which you have absolutely no emotional range, especially if you have no idea how the other person feels, or how they will react.

They need to know there's a level of intimacy, that they can trust you, that they know you, that what they know is true, that they can share themselves safely, that if they ask a question you will respond rather than evade, that you respect them or at least see them as a peer rather than see them like a relationship child where sure they're "important" to you, but they're just not good, or smart, or sophisticated, or old enough to know the "real" stuff.

They want to know that you're sticking around, you're there for them, not just the relationship or to be in a relationship.

There is a huge difference, though, between asking these questions in a "relationship" with a "partner" as opposed to when you're first starting to date.


Depends on the relationship.
Some people ask these questions as part of a process; to learn and trust and know.

Hey now..I got a Gold Star once.

I have no clue, I have seen this and for me I don't care what was in the past unless they learned a fantastic trick or two I am getting the benefits from.



I wouldn't because if I am not then dang I just set us both up for a lie to come into the relationship...



I honestly don't care what they have done in the past or who they did it with. The same as it isn't any of their business what I have done or with whom I did it with...

The past is the past period...

Like a virgin.....Hey!......Touched for the very first time......

I think insecurity can make someone go there.
Can be an insecure person to begin with or the SO has done or said something to instigate it.
I've been there that a partner instigated it, and that ain't particularly pleasant. Not by saying 'she' was better between the sheets btw, that would be end-of-relationship.
But saying stuff like "I really like my woman petite" to your new 5 foot 10 partner is harsh. Especially when the new partner knows the ex was petite.
I can tell you that does not sit well.

Since we are quoting songs - "Love the one your with". Shoot, the last wife was 155 pounds when we meet, jumped to 240, then back down to 175 before she left. I never said a word, since I went from 275 to 305 to 275, after she left.

I have no idea. I have noticed that in dating men, most have a lot of questions. I have questions also, but mine are to find out more about the man I am dating and sometimes questions about his past might come up the more time I spend with him.
I wouldn't want to know about his past lovers.