Good Question, but this is what I'd like to know about women. Personally, I find most available women very skittish, like feral cats. Maybe because they've been attracted to and pick the wrong man and always find themselves getting the same thing in the end: heartache.

I've been divorced for a little over 2 years with a real separation for 1-1/2 years before it became written on paper. The available women I have met all start off with "friends first", or "Let's take it slow". I am really good at following directions but what they mean and what I wish they would say is "I feel insecure about myself, don't want to make a mistake, and am afraid . . . so I don't want to have sex right away". I find this perfectly reasonable and grounded. An intimate relationship is based on trust and getting to gratifying, toe curling, anxiety-free intimacy is a long bridge to cross for many. I totally get that since it comes with attachment and attachment is a tough thing to break if things go bad.

I'm okay with all of that but what they are also saying is "I want to be the one who makes the decision" so why don't they just say it.

I'm all for letting the wine ferment but not for the lack of communication. You want to be friends? Well, friends talk, they communicate, they say what's on their minds. Friends confide in each other. They express their fears, expectations, experiences, desires, and also show their warts without reservation.

I just don't see that with the few women I've been involved with and I'm a very simple man. What you see is what you get. I've always been a one-woman man and yet, I somehow project the opposite. I've given my love interests an invitation to just come over to my house any time of day or night.

So, ladies, what are you afraid of? I really, really SUCK at mind reading.

BTW, I couldn't think of a better user name. LOL

I was in a relationship with a very moody woman with a bad temper and I became afraid of saying the wrong thing and setting her off, although pretty much anything that I said could do it. I suppose it's that walking on eggshells thing that I find difficult and it's not just the old cliche of whether her bum looks big in something.

It would depend on the woman. Some may be really clingy and others can be the opposite. My last girlfriend had this habit of not even calling me for weeks and I wasn't happy about that but confruntations are difficult and it's hard to say to a woman that you're not happy about something like that because it might set off a, "You don't own me." response, or she might just walk out on you and never come back.

There are definetely some women that I would be afraid of getting involved with because I would have doubts about it working out and then having my heart broken. My last girlfriend was like that and I never really counted on it working out and tried to protect my feelings that way but what she put me through was really stressful and upsetting and I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened and trying to move on now but I don't find that easy and although I like to have a woman in my life, relationships that I've been in have been stressful and the heartbreak when it doesn't work out is awful.

Thank you guys for your in put I will keep it in mind for the next relationship.

and me.

note to self - never chop off a man's penis

and me.

note to self - never chop off a man's penis

Afraid of you because you were an element. Okay, no idea what the heck that means. Plutonium maybe?

Fear. Not sure if that's the right concept. Wariness is closer to it.

Biggest concern: I don't aver again want to emotionally commit myself to someone who decides that they are going to "adjust" or "repair" or "fix" me, because I'm not quite what she had in mind after all.

I've been through everything from the small stuff ("you're my dream mate, except for when you insist on wearing your favorite shirt") to life killers ("I'm headed downtown tonight to find a guy who pretends to want me at exactly the moment I want to be thought of as a sex object, but I'll be back after, because I do want a devoted lover most of the time").


So I guess what I am "afraid of," is running into yet another woman who wants one man to be her "everything," but expects to actually GET "everything," and when she realizes she doesn't have it, decides to either "sue," or to use techniques and concepts derived from the Bush administrations "enhanced interrogation" arsenal.

Assuming that he DOES possess, 'one'!

One things for sure, if any partner fears something about the other then It won't work.

What a way to live your life worrying that you might put your foot in it at any time.

The only thing that scares me is the bathroom being all "womanized"

hello

no that would be the whole house
it only starts in the bath room with a "few essentials"

She had a fan on here a while back. Looking through the threads it seems she still has.

That's why you need 2 bathrooms, 2 bedrooms, 2 of everything. A his and a hers.

Thank you guys there are a lot of things to think about.

It�s a bit strange that some things I never did and that was found as fault, for instance: not demanding, except of the common good behaviour, never, as far as I�m aware, was trying to adjust someone to myself or "fix" him, never felt the slightest tendency to betray someone I was with.

Although Lukinfolove might find me scary in a couple of ways

And for Igor - well element, I don�t know if plutonium, lol but more as natural element, like fire, something that overwhelmes I guess

does that include 2 house?

(((Debbie)))

you are meanie, Kaustuv