A grieving process needs to run its course for any loss. I think after a while acceptance takes hold and people adjust to the situation. It's easier with help from family, friends, and some unbiased counseling if needed.

The things we lose over time are common for many of us. Eventually we all start to lose our health, loved ones (people and pets), and at least once a job.

For me it helps to keep busy and focus on newer memories as the older ones sting less.

Women are more verbal but the content can often be expressed more concisely. Women tend to, in my experience, add a lot more narrative and introduce a lot of peripheral information to bolster their point of view.

I also think both men and women filter their information just like companies and job applicants do during an interview.

It seems that certain subjects and preferences such as sex and sexual preferences, money, religion, general biases, to name a few are difficult to discuss for most people.

The 3 questions still remain: What do you want? What don't you want? Why?

Aside from the group the opposite sex considers desirable, you also have to look at the active members. I see a lot of profiles that have been inactive for a long time.

If you look at your matches that are online at any given time of day or night, the numbers are very few.

When you weed out the fakes, you get into the single digits. There are a lot of fakes on here and also on the mainstream sites such as Match, etc.

Overall, my conversations with women and men who have tried online dating indicates the women have the pick of the litter and the men not so much. Women get a lot more email and messages but many from undesirable men. Men don't get many women making the first move. I think we are still guided by the old fashion rules where women suffer from the Madonna/Whore syndrome. If they make the first move, they think they will be perceived as easy.

I can see why many men have low self-esteem when attempting to date online. You think there are qualities in your favor as mentioned by many women, but in the end, as for both men and women, it comes down strictly to looks in the online dating world. You have to somehow message like a marketing program with images that strike a fancy.

Online dating misses the initial human interaction where a lot of overt and subliminal information is being exchanged. Pheromones don't get exchanged by keyboard.

I wish I knew what it was really about. I suspect there are so many reasons women reject men that it's hard to generalize.

I have anecdotal evidence that women in their later years (start at late 40's) prefer men that are good providers. They've fallen for love at least once without looking at the practicalities.

A 51 year old woman friend of mine is taking her mother's advice: it's just as easy to fall for a rich man than a poor man. I just spoke to another woman 49, who said the same thing. This in a 1 week span.

But at the same time, the feedback I've gotten is while they wish for their material needs to be fulfilled, they are done raising kids. That means the ones who have spoken to me don't want to cook a meal again. That's all I ask for . . . . LOL

They don't want men who are still babies and can't take care of themselves but it seems to me a bit extreme. They don't want to do anything for a man. I guess their scars are still fresh but it's on them because of their choices.

I have a bigger question: which shall I open? The Cabernet or the Pinot Noir?

There are a LOT of fake people trying to scam. It seems very common to all the dating websites. I would google online dating scams and learn to spot them.

Some of the things I've noticed:

Fakes from outside of the USA use European or South African language (english) with words such as holiday, poor use of past/present tense and plural, similar scripted introduction.

Fakes from inside the USA generally pose for men as women way under the stated age and use pictures of very attractive women. For me it's women who are in the 20's when I specifically state otherwise.

The scams usually try to obtain personal information from their targets while offering nothing or things that are not verifiable. When asked specific questions they respond with vague answers or do not address the question. For example, they will give a fake name or email address that has no social media trace. I use Spokeo.com to look up emails, phone numbers, addresses, and names. Ask them where they went to high school and they will never answer that question. Ask them when they graduated or what they studied and they will return with something odd. They can tell when their target is suspicious because they won't call on you again.

The scam artists will be very complimentary and profess their intense attraction or even love for you. Eventually after a time, they will express a desire to meet when they think they've gained your confidence. They will always be far away and ask for money to obtain transportation or suddenly ask for money when their narrative has run its course. For example, they might start the script by saying they're a caregiver or having a hard time because of something that happened to them. Eventually they will ask for money.

Red flags would be if they offer you their phone numbers and ask you to text them right away, even the first time. Pay attention to the style of writing too. Sometimes it's more than one person working the same con.

From where I sit in the DC area, most women don't check their accounts for more than a month. It seems they've come, seen, and have moved on.

With the exception of one member, all I've gotten since I've signed on are fake people trying to scam me.

It's not just this website either. It's all of them including match, chemistry, craigslist, plenty of fish, etc.

I've written two women that were local and were online but was ignored. Disappointed? Meh? It's the same old same old.

I'll give it another week and then close it out.

I guess there are many reasons why people are interested in those younger or much younger. It might be the fear of getting old and for some of us near or past 50, it might be they are tired of people their age who are grumpy, don't take care of themselves, lack energy, and enthusiasm for life itself.

For me, a younger woman of maybe 8 years would be the limit since I don't think we would connect on a cultural level (reference to past events, movies, etc. that shape our views). I'm sure there are exceptions but when a 20-something or young 30's contacts me, it's a scam. There is no reason why they would want to be my friend, date me, or consider me husband potential.

As for an older woman, a few years older is okay but at this point, ideally I wish for an active woman who is healthy enough to ride a bike, etc. and still enjoys sex.

Luckily I am in good shape and am healthy but it's not only genes. For a woman my age who doesn't take care of herself (i.e. - smokes, drinks too much, and doesn't monitor her nutrition - men should take care of themselves too!), she is a dependency in the making.

I know it's cold, at the same time, I don't think a woman would want a man who is considerably over a reasonable weight, smokes and stinks, doesn't groom himself or even bath everyday, or takes care of his teeth. I see a lot of men my age who don't update their clothes, fail to keep themselves groomed, or have lost caring for themselves. Maybe they're depressed or have a medical condition but certainly you can shave or trim your beard, and cut the hairs that grow out of your ears and nose.

If a person doesn't care enough to keep themselves in good shape to the best of their abilities, why would they care about a significant other? Nobody loves you like you.

May you breathe until you're at least 110!

The new LEDs are really nice and throw off a lot of light. To compare lights, look for the "lumens", the amount of light output. Look for 400 to 500 lumens. The warm white have a softer, yellow tint where the other bright light are very white.

I buy from China via Ebay. Be careful with the light socket.

For the candle bulbs, it's E12 base, for the standard bulbs, it's E26 base.

The LEDs are becoming more attractive and they save quite a bit of energy, on the order of 75%. But they are a bit pricey unless you go the Ebay route.

I've purchased from IKEA at about $5 a bulb and they work very nicely and produce quite a bit of light.

Also, you can now dim many of them.

LEDs are very good for those spots up high and they work outside too.

Do I look stupid??? I am smarter than the average bear but for some reason, at least 6 fakes who have posted pictures of very attractive and young women (half my age) think I will just give them my cell phone number and text them.

Really? I admit my blessings are not in the looks department but they are in the common sense department.

I guess it says something about my fellow man that there are so many fakes out there doing this that there is a market for that.

Truly sad.

Soufiehere,

I think you pretty much summarized it as well as anybody could. It is a mental thing, not a material one. The high maintenance person is looking for something to fulfill them but does not know what it is. It's as if they are constantly knocking on doors trying to find some elusive thing that does not exist.

Good Question, but this is what I'd like to know about women. Personally, I find most available women very skittish, like feral cats. Maybe because they've been attracted to and pick the wrong man and always find themselves getting the same thing in the end: heartache.

I've been divorced for a little over 2 years with a real separation for 1-1/2 years before it became written on paper. The available women I have met all start off with "friends first", or "Let's take it slow". I am really good at following directions but what they mean and what I wish they would say is "I feel insecure about myself, don't want to make a mistake, and am afraid . . . so I don't want to have sex right away". I find this perfectly reasonable and grounded. An intimate relationship is based on trust and getting to gratifying, toe curling, anxiety-free intimacy is a long bridge to cross for many. I totally get that since it comes with attachment and attachment is a tough thing to break if things go bad.

I'm okay with all of that but what they are also saying is "I want to be the one who makes the decision" so why don't they just say it.

I'm all for letting the wine ferment but not for the lack of communication. You want to be friends? Well, friends talk, they communicate, they say what's on their minds. Friends confide in each other. They express their fears, expectations, experiences, desires, and also show their warts without reservation.

I just don't see that with the few women I've been involved with and I'm a very simple man. What you see is what you get. I've always been a one-woman man and yet, I somehow project the opposite. I've given my love interests an invitation to just come over to my house any time of day or night.

So, ladies, what are you afraid of? I really, really SUCK at mind reading.

BTW, I couldn't think of a better user name. LOL