Oh - here in the states 'HOSPICE' comes to your home; it's not mandatory to have the patient 'GO TO A HOSPICE FACILITY'; the whole premise is to assist the family with answers to their UNKNOWN questions - guiding them with preparations - getting the medical staff ready - paperwork...just all around general help with medical equipment that will be needed for their home stay!

I've not been able to return yet as a 'HOSPICE' grief counselor but I'm able to man the phones and forward their calls to the appropriate departments & locations for the necessary items.

My dear husband avoided going to his dentist for that lump in his mouth - then the dentist fiddle-farted around for months instead of sending some of the suspicious tissue to a pathologist - and as with your dear grandpa --- by the time we'd fought the mouth cancer/radiation and several rounds of heavy chemo; well when it came back it was bigger/stronger and moving rapidly thorough out his body and right into his brain stem! It had found a nich� in his liver and just poisoned him!
I'm so sorry...rather thought we had corned the market on inept doctors over here!

I used to go out in the garage and beat the BEEE-GEEZERS out of a pillow with my tennis racket; works wonders and it's pretty quiet & and I screamed into that same pillow many - many times!

I did post this in another thread, but I should have put it here.

tomorrow, me and the whole family are all going down to see my nan and granddad, and this could be the last time were all together, unless he makes it to Christmas, im nervous im going to start crying because ill keep thinking is the last time we will all be together. but I need to hold it in, and let go in my bedroom alone when I get back.

im so sorry to hear that.

we do have Macmillan nurses who do home visits, but he doesn't want that until the very end, hes always been a private person.

it still happens quite a lot, its very sad. I know many stories, but that's for another day.

I don't know how to deal with this anger, because ive never been a angry person, I just normally cry. but this situation im angry and crying a lot. ill work out a way of dealing with the anger, some how. thank you.

Don't forget that the patient will feel it's like the 800# elephant in the room if people don't just SPEAK ABOUT IT; and it's ok to cry...hug the hell out of grandpa and whisper in his ear --- 'will it upset you if I/we cry and just get it over with'...let him be able to BE WHATEVER - HOWEVER he's feeling.

Being STOIC is even harder - it's exhausting for everyone!
Photo albums are a great conversation mover - allows him to talk about happier moments - people he's missed - people that he's had great moments with that maybe none of you grand kids have ever heard about - jobs that he had - crazy things that happened as a newly wed! {{hugs}} and prayers for you & your family!

he wouldn't want to see any of us cry, I know that for a fact. that's why its going to be hard keeping it inside, but ill do my best for him, and let it out on my own when I get back. I always hug him and kiss him, but he will get a great big hug off me tomorrow, I just hope I don't cry, its not going to be easy. thanks for the advice.

he has mine and my boys prayers..

I'm sorry to hear that Debbie...Sending lots of prayers for you grandpa and the family. Stay strong

Awwwwww.
I loved all my granddad's so.
If you get a wonderful one, you will suffer at their loss.
Hope you get in all the kisses you can :-)

Many prayers for you and yours. ((((Hugs))))

Prayers and love.....

I'm really sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

May he be granted strength and peace, in body mind spirit and soul.
Take care debbie, and God bless. You are a wonderful grand daughter.

Oh no!!! I am so sorry, babe!! Reading this entire thread just had me tearing up!! They should have listened to you!!! You're a brilliant nurse! I will be sending healing prayers and positive thoughts to your grandpa. My heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong for them, sweetie.

2Old, your post also made me bawl. Sorry, sweetie.

I am so sorry to hear this Debbie, I also was very close to my grandparents.
Will be sending prayers for all for you and your family...
Take this time to savor the moments...

I am praying for you and your family! I know how this feels. My grandma died of cancer and my grandpa has it and my cousin's cancer has metastasized into his brain. He has lost his ability to walk because his whole left side of his body has stopped communicating to the brain. With love I pray strength and healing love for you all.

I will pray for you and your family. I spent the last months of my uncle's life when I was barely a teen and he had terminal cancer and Alzheimer's. It is heartbreaking but at least you know he will be loved, not forgotten and surrounded by loved ones. That's what really matters in any part of life. Also know that he will be going to a better place where he will not suffer anymore. Be strong.

Debbie, my prayers are going out to you and your family during this difficult time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Love you Debbie were all praying for you . don't blame your granpa for being mad so appalling the way they didn't listen hopeing for a miracle .your always there for everyone . we are here for you too girl praying for you all