I disagree with the premise as described.

Women who JUST say no all the time, do NOT get lots of males attracted to them because of it.

It's WHY they do what they do that matters.

Otherwise there would be a gaggle of nuts-in-love males gathered outside every nunnery.

Men do tend to go ga-ga over the woman who chooses to have sex because it's with him. And they do tend to lose interest in women who appear to want to have sex all the time with whoever happens to be around.

Just my observations about this.

We can also tag this topic "saying NO to sex makes you more "killing" or "more valuable", or "more classical". Etc. A "No-To-Sex" lady is the only type of girls guys respect and want the most. If I were talking to my sister, this is the truth I will make her understand. As a guy, as a man, whenever we hear a lady say no to sex in a relationship until after marriage documents and rites have been done, we go 'gaga' for the lady. I dont mean girls who are 'forming' "hard to get". I am talking about single ladies hoping for a good caring and nice future husband. Dont portray yourself as a cheap material. Now you know, would you change your search preferences? I hope guys wouldnt be 'angry' that I revealed our 'secret'. Whats your thought?

Men do tend to go ga-ga over the woman who chooses to have sex because it's with him. And they do tend to lose interest in women who appear to want to have sex all the time with whoever happens to be around.

Well what you say is true then why do I get accused of being hard to get?
I refuse to get up something that I want to give to my husband. It is the only thing you can give. To me by saving myself for him shows him that he is special and also i believe when you have sex with someone you are giving him a part of you.
Yes my values and expectations are high but why should I lower them for 5 minutes fun and then hate myself.
The right man that comes along will understand and respect my choice especially if he wants a woman that loves him.
Is it really that hard to do?

A lady in the parlor simply means a lady in public

one that acts like a lady in speech and manner

i think, this is largely a cultural and religious preference.



this is more like reality, and can apply to both genders.

Wrong! Self respect and virtues transcend "cultural" and "religious" considerations.

Think the bottom line is: you put out easily, then you lose the respect element, and without respect there really is no future.
So respect to all you who preserve their dignity and self respect, but hey people will only wait so long, and that goes for both Male and Female.
But also we all must appreciate, for some, its most probably been a while and then there is the nervous element!

Funny, probing Uche?. Ok. I can tell you with every sincerity of heart and soul that I never allowed the flesh to rear its ugly head up since I found myself single again, over 5 years now. Its not difficult if you refuse to allow worldly garbages inroad in your mind. Chastity is sweet and pleasant!! I have perfect peace of mind and joy unspeakable. It requires grace though

Well said, Uche. I would shake your hand.. but I think I know what it has been doing.

What I don't really understand, ever, is why you keep trying to ram your culture and religion and its habits down our throats? Does it come to mind at all that that is actually rather disrespectful and incredibly judgmental?

In western countries, women can have a mind of their own, they can be -and usually are- strong, independent and can stand on their own two feet. We can choose to say "no" to sex outside of a relationship, or "yes" if wish to do so. The fact that you don't condone or understand, doesn't make that immoral nor wrong.
It's almost as if you think western people live one big huge orgy.

I personally feel it's more wrong to try to convince people that enjoying what a body can give you is sinful. If it was wrong, we wouldn't have a body, or a different means to create offspring than through physical pleasure.
That doesn't mean you have to overindulge, but what is to be considered overindulging, is up to the individual. And maybe some want and need to overindulge. So what?

If you feel it's right to not have sex for 5 years because you're single, good for you. But please don't call people who choose differently 'cheap'.

I also don't believe a man will lose interest if a woman does want sex. First of all, many couples don't want to get married (again), meaning they could never have sex with your agenda.
Secondly, who'd want to marry if they didn't know they matched sexually? In our culture sex is about both parties enjoying it, meaning that if a man and woman don't have the same desires and drives, love will go out the window pretty fast.

What I don't really understand, ever, is why you keep trying to ram your culture and religion and its habits down our throats? Does it come to mind at all that that is actually rather disrespectful and incredibly judgmental?

In western countries, women can have a mind of their own, they can be -and usually are- strong, independent and can stand on their own two feet. We can choose to say "no" to sex outside of a relationship, or "yes" if wish to do so. The fact that you don't condone or understand, doesn't make that immoral nor wrong.
It's almost as if you think western people live one big huge orgy.

I personally feel it's more wrong to try to convince people that enjoying what a body can give you is sinful. If it was wrong, we wouldn't have a body, or a different means to create offspring than through physical pleasure.
That doesn't mean you have to overindulge, but what is to be considered overindulging, is up to the individual. And maybe some want and need to overindulge. So what?

If you feel it's right to not have sex for 5 years because you're single, good for you. But please don't call people who choose differently 'cheap'.

I also don't believe a man will lose interest if a woman does want sex. First of all, many couples don't want to get married (again), meaning they could never have sex with your agenda.
Secondly, who'd want to marry if they didn't know they matched sexually? In our culture sex is about both parties enjoying it, meaning that if a man and woman don't have the same desires and drives, love will go out the window pretty fast.

Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, its normal. Neither did I expect those on the extreme left side of the spectrum to agree with this hard and bitter but rewarding hidden truth. Cheap things usually have less value and cost. It has nothing whatsoever to do with culture or religion.

What I don't really understand, ever, is why you keep trying to ram your culture and religion and its habits down our throats? Does it come to mind at all that that is actually rather disrespectful and incredibly judgmental?

In western countries, women can have a mind of their own, they can be -and usually are- strong, independent and can stand on their own two feet. We can choose to say "no" to sex outside of a relationship, or "yes" if wish to do so. The fact that you don't condone or understand, doesn't make that immoral nor wrong.
It's almost as if you think western people live one big huge orgy.

I personally feel it's more wrong to try to convince people that enjoying what a body can give you is sinful. If it was wrong, we wouldn't have a body, or a different means to create offspring than through physical pleasure.
That doesn't mean you have to overindulge, but what is to be considered overindulging, is up to the individual. And maybe some want and need to overindulge. So what?

If you feel it's right to not have sex for 5 years because you're single, good for you. But please don't call people who choose differently 'cheap'.

I also don't believe a man will lose interest if a woman does want sex. First of all, many couples don't want to get married (again), meaning they could never have sex with your agenda.
Secondly, who'd want to marry if they didn't know they matched sexually? In our culture sex is about both parties enjoying it, meaning that if a man and woman don't have the same desires and drives, love will go out the window pretty fast.

Don't encourage him, woman!!! J/k

Uche, let's do the swirl.

Devildog, what do you know except that we are friends? One more thing, change your moniker for a better one. Lol!!. What does "devildog" mean?

I know a bit Uche... been around the block a few times. yep, we're friends... ( I do enjoy busting your chops Lol) And Devildog is a nickname for a U.S. Marine. I thought you would have known that ;)