I actually almost think an LDR has an advantage over just meeting someone local. Local relationships I have found, get to a point of being purely physical... the communication is broken into nothingness and before you know it there is absolutely NO reason to be together. If you are distanced, you have nothing but communication to keep that fire burning. I think often times you form stronger bonds, plant the seeds of the relationship a little deeper...
and then when you are finally together, you have an appreciation for doing all things together- not just being physical.
Right now I'm in the communication phase... but already I can think of about 50 things I'd like to do with Evad when we finally do get to see each other face to face... (and not I'm talking about sexual stuff... I'm talking about actual normal things that local couples tend to take for granted).

I am very much looking forward to November... Lots to be thankful for this year...

I personally don't like LDRs. For me, if I'm with someone, they should be close enough to actually be with in person. I'm not looking for a pen pal or a once a month fling so it would be something that I would turn down unless she was willing to actually move closer but most of the time that probably wont happen cause everyone has their own lives and jobs and can't just pick up and go.

I think you put forth more effort into a long distance relationship in making it work or wanting to make it work. You are going to have some sort of game plan set from the beginning...

The number one thing is who is going to move? If you do, is it a long term relationship, dating, marriage? Or move and maintain the relationship as it is now...

You gotta be strong... trust and honesty are #1. Prepare yourself for the absence of that warm body, that smile and all the wonders of non-verbal communication that sometimes we take for granted...

What about communicating? How much? How? Internet, phone, snail mail, no matter which avenue you are gonna have to be flexible about it... and don't call them every 5 mins, they have laws for that sort of thing LOL

Okay and like Singingmyheartout and Evad, travel time....egads 16 hours? That is driving...what about 10 hours on an airplane? and how often? And what banks will be robbed to finance this?? LOL

I guess your ultimate goal is a normal relationship... I was always told there is no normal anything.... normal is a setting on a wash machine not on people... but overall it takes work on a daily basis for any relationship and the decision to do so...and make it happen.

A round of drinks, coffees, teas and more to the happy couples that are making it work, would love to see this group expand more and give more hope to others that in life...anything is possible....

My questions are:

1- How long did it take for you to know it was "love"?
2- How long before you moved?
3- What did you do daily that is different from a "conventional" relationship to keep your LDR strong?

Let me tell you that I have spent several late hours online or on the phone now that I have Evad.... it is a temporary solution... last night I left the chat window open just to bridge the gap of him being so far away... (cheesy, huh?)
Don't think for a second that we don't want to be next to each other... but we do what we can until that time comes.
Yes we have our own lives and responsibilities... and as with any relationship, it should add to, not take away from, your life. I'd rather have an LDR that completes my life than the Local Relationship where something feels empty.

LDR's work . I was in one for 4 years the only reason it ended was because it got to the point where we both decided we wern t ready to commit for reasons beyond our control which i don t care to go into.

I am know starting another LDR and this one I know will work, it just feels right.

Singing you need to write down those 50 things you want to do and maybe do it as an email and have evad add to it and keep exchanging it and maybe 20 years down the road you can look back at a list fullfilled or still growing

Is there a planetary anomally going on??? Everyone is finding someone!!!!!! LOL

So distance wise how far in miles or hours????

Sure ...but you still have to be realistic about your situation before going ahead with a long distant relationship

If you have children, you need to consider them in the equation. Most women with children can't just uproot and leave unless their ex gives them the ok or that would be a huge problem when it comes to relationships like this.

13 hr drive

If its in a driving distance...why not, its only a drive away, less complication

well that was old past long ago ... my kryptonite is almost 24 hr drive

So how many here have children involved?

i don't really see anything wrong with a LDR. i agree with jtevans, i am from a somewhat small town too, so the pickins are rather slim.
Becca

he has 3... they live with his ex. He only gets to see them on occasion... but he does take advantage of seeing them. I have 2. My kids' dads have vanished off the face of the earth, so I can get court permission to move out of state if I so choose... and the exes can't say anything because they aren't around... they don't pay support, they don't offer emotional or physical support (my kids sadly don't even remember because they were so young).
The relocation is still being discussed. We both agree that the kids come first. We will find a way.

singingmyheartout - you are lucky, you are in a good position where you can do what you like.

When I accepted a long distance relationship, I made sure my man knows I can't just uproot and leave Australia, so he has to come to me.

I met met couples over the years that failed to continue their plans.... so it is wiser to find someone that meets your situation to eliminate the stress that comes with such...

I have offered to go there so that he can remain closer to his kids, but I have also told him that if he comes here, I want his kids to visit regularly.

It's a matter of what the best is for everyone involved.

Must take into consideration the cost of living and job opportunities too. It's much less expensive to live where he is... but it is a very small town.

I am 5 minutes away from Chicago... (currently work in Chicago)... big city, can get anywhere (I don't drive... so I need to get my license, which Evad has offered to help me do... or I need reliable public transportation). There is more of a job variety here I would think.

However, it's a safer place to raise kids where he is.

There are more things to do here in Chicago.



So one could very well argue which is the better place to be.

Honestly, I don't care where I live... as long as he and I can be together... and as long as our kids- all 5 of them- are happy and know they are loved.

So kewl Singing

I agree with you sin, to find that situation where it is possible to relocate is good...

currently in a ldr....20 hour drive...and it working...I agree that the distance is good in ways...and you do base a relationship on more than leaping in bed and ravishing each others bodies...lol...ask me again in another couple months and we shall see if it is still working

Well it's been working for me for 5 months now. I say if you if you are comfortable with this kind of commitment then why not. it's been a wonderful experience for me

I'd give it a try and I'm relocating anyway. Just not sure where yet.