It's when it does NOT come up anymore that's important, I think. There's no shame in saying, 'I still need help' or 'I still don't understand.' It's healthy, it shows that self-esteem still exists.

The only positive reason it might not come up is 'Problem solved.'

Abuse and the effects from it aren't likely to have a one step cure. In my experience, it's a process.

Just saying...

Call 911.

Call the cops

Kick his *** until the police arrives. Just in case he's trying to become violent to me. I'll say well he had to much to drink and he fell and hurt him self. Oh well, this never happen to me so yes the best option is to Obey the law. And call the police. They will take it from there.

Come on...... see my ! I was serious.... that was what my husband did the one time I hit him cos' he said something that got me so so mad, I smacked him on the shoulder, he said sorry and we made up!

But frankly, I am just trying to point out the difference when a woman hits a man, and when a man hits a woman...... whether in retaliation or to provoke, the end result is different.

We are never a match to a man's strength, even if he is smaller in stature or similar.

I was raised to believe that it was not appropriate for any person to hit another. That being said, my Dad also taught us how to defend ourselves if someone brought it to us. My ex-husband was to the point of screaming, vein-popping, kicking and throwing objects, blacking out, not remembering things he said/did. He raised his hand to me a few times but never quite followed through. I ended it when I discovered he had beaten my dog so badly her lungs swelled and she could not breathe. If I'd seen him do it, he may not have survived. What that told me was that I was next. Thank God we never had kids. That dog ADORED him... The time between separation and divorce, well, restraining order and carrying my .38 explains a lot of that time

Good point, Ame

Good on ya for the .38, I like fatter rounds in pistols.

2 words for you: black talons

You still have sum? I use Hornady hollows but ocasionally I'll keep a mag with fmj's.

I'm not playing devils advocate here but the same is true of women and I know all women don't get physical and aren't psychotic but as soon as someone mentions abuse in a relationship it is assumed that the guy hit the woman. Even in many cases where a man doesn't lay a finger on a woman if the cops get called its whoever gets to the phone first or 8/10 times just the guy who gets charged with assault. I had a girl try to run me over with my own car, try to get me jumped by a gang I knew nothing about, those were about the worst but not the extent of what happened to me. I would like to say 'in the good ole days....' but those things happened when I was 17. I have on several occasions had to ask a girl to leave or leave myself. I don't now nor have I ever hit a woman. I have fought guys I didn't know for hitting women I didn't know either. That's just the way I was raised. So know that you real ladies aren't alone in this, just don't allow it to turn you into the aggressor because that will not solve anything.

B.s.
This is another myth that needs to denounced.
MANY women are no match for SOME men's strength. I'm a strong guy for my size and when I was younger and healthier I was much much stronger. I played football and layed brick starting my freshman year. Sometimes it doesn't matter how strong you are if someone catches you off guard, and I was on many occasions. Sucker punched so hard that my entire shirt and jeans were covered in blood, I had to lie to my parents and tell them I was in a bar fight out of embarrassment. But the same thing happened when I was ready for it from a guy that was bigger than me and all that happened was my cheek turned red. He put more into his punch than she did but because the gang taught her how to fight and she actually knew what she was doing she almost knocked me out. Women do all kinds of physically demanding jobs now and while your frame may not be best suited to do those kinds of jobs for as long as men physiologically, there are women everywhere that are stronger than men.

I would agree
violence in any form is wrong and has no place in a healthy relationship
your gender does not make it excusable

Maybe... then there have been many instances where a woman has given a 2nd chance to a man who hits.

And it was the last chance she ever saw.

My point being, the violent tendencies are in his mental make up. Most likely to come back to the surface.. eventually.

This sums it up.

BS? So is it ok for the man to hit back at the woman with his brute strength? I'm not talking about a woman who is toughly built and who is into martial arts or a black belt holder?

No one should raise a hand to someone in anger...man or woman.

Anyone that does, has a problem. No one deserves that

If someone uses violence then their arguement is already lost

Who cares about appearances...either you git, or you stay. If you git, leave everything, go far away, sever all contact, and stay gone. If you stay, then take the abuse quietly because you have chosen to be a willing participant.

And I am saying that when the women is not stronger than you.... not when she is! And not when she is not someone who knows how to 'hit' a man with her smaller stature.

Whatever the reasons, say for instance, regardless of who hits first, she hits him, he hits her, she hits back, and then he hits her again...... who do you think will be injured more if she doesn't know how to hit back? I am not even talking about the kick in the groin... unless my life is threatened.

I don't mean to even promote violence.... and in all my life, that was just the only time I smack my ex......... I have the guts to admit it, but we know of some people who beat their women, but do they admit it???? NOOOOO........ they are portraying themselves as the angel.... and fooling all the women who fall for their lies!

And then, the next woman who gets fooled...... if I were to tell her, so and so beat his ex up before..... would she believe me? I doubt she would, until he raises his hands on her, and then it might be too late.

And when you talk about giving 2nd chances...... same thing, when that ugly head rears its head again, it might be a fatal beating.

I agree..... wholeheartedly!

And it is even worse when someone does it, and don't admit they did it!
They can fool some people, not all, but some, and if even one is fooled..... these are the ones I am concerned about.

so we should be ever more hesitant to hit them in the first place,, fight or flight is a natural response,, regardless of gender

for a man to hit you BACK, in my opinion, is just a natural reaction if you are both adults