I have been single for about 3 years and before that I was in a long term relationship. I really don't have a lot of experience with guys. I never been the person to date around so I get so confused when I am approached by a guy. My friends always say "that guy was totally flirting with you, and I am like no he wasn't hes just being nice." Besides sexual innuendos and asking for your number how do you know when someone is flirting with you?

They be MEN.
I assume they be flirting :-)

Soufie, I'm surprised... Surprised isn't the right word. I've never seen (read) you like this before.
Way off topic, I know, but I'm not sorry.

O.P.
You're an attractive woman, I'm sure there are more men interested in you than you think. Take your time and hopefully soon you will find someone who fits what you are looking for. To answer your question, you can't be sure unless you ask them or they come right out and say it, so don't be afraid to ask. At worst they can say no, which means that they were just being nice which isn't really a bad thing. Good luck.

I say that to say people may take my niceness as flirting when I am just being nice. If we in a bar & I am approached by a guy then of course he's flirting (maybe) but me asking the guy at the gas station if he is flirting is a little bit awkward.

I have a similar problem..
If I'm nice or just in a great mood (in real life), it can be misinterpreted.
And I miss signals also, because I assume, men are thinking like me..
So I just ask them " Are you flirting with me Mister?.." . Hhhaaaa.
If they weren't , then 50% of the time they will be.
If they weren't flirting... well then, I may have made there day. And them & there ego can go on there merry way.

Goof here....with some tips on how to recognize flirting...(from a male perspective).

If a guy sees you every day, or every other day, or hell...maybe once a week....and he goes out of his way to say hello, to chit chat, or just smile....well then he is flirting and into you.

If same said guy mentioned above saw you about once a week, but then you notice he is going out of his way to see you more consistently....well he is flirting and into you....or he could be a stalker (you know, if you notice he is licking windows or just stares at you without saying anything).

If a guy walks up to you (say in a bar, or in the park) and he is laying the lines on thick.....eh....he wants to nail you.

And watch out for those dudes who, when they come around you they have raging boners. They could eventually turn into those "Sleeping with the enemy" type of guy....you know the one. The guy who, when you don't hang the towels right, or burn the meat, they smack you. And then you fake your death trying to get away but he ends up finding you in like some foreign village....but before he can do anything he gets killed by a stampede of koala bears.....okay this went off the rails pretty quick.....but you get my meaning.

Great tips - got my koalas at the ready

Just to get on his list is $19.99.

Wonder if the newsletter would be cheaper than the paperback?

I shall call the book "Koala Stampede"

That sounds so cute and fuzzy.

Opie, I recommend reading all about the male flirtations and recognizing them.

Really people....

See.....now I want a koala bear.

^ That usually worked for all my BFs too.

Main thing to keep in mind:

There is no science to this. No certainty whatsoever.

What I always find ironically hilarious, is that it's always ONLY the onlookers who seem to recognize flirting. Male and female alike.

Well, players always claim to recognize it, but since most of them seem to be sure that EVERYONE is flirting with them all the time, I'm not confident that they are really honestly seeing flirting.

And it gets more complicated, because while tons of people flirt, it's very common for their REASON for flirting to be other than the one you want them to have.

Remember, some people flirt to pad their own egos, and don't actually have any intention or desire to so anything with you. Actually, a LOT of people do that, to one degree or another.

ya but to spot those kind all ya got to do is sit back and observe them for a few minutes

That works in your favor, maybe.
It depends on if instead of experience you're full of stereotypes about men.

Other than that, men aren't a different species living on the bottom of the ocean, rarely seen except through foot thick safety glass on a remote submarine.

Men are just people. I'm a people, he's a people, she's a people, wouldn't you like to be a people too.


Why is that confusing?
Are you asking yourself "why would a guy approach me?" or,"what could I have or be that anyone would want to approach me?" or, "I am wary of this guys motives, I think he may want to harm me in some way...what does he want?"

The idea of being confused by someone approaching you is more indicative of esteem problems than lack of knowledge.

Meh.
So

By learning to listen to what someone wants rather than what they say.

OMGosh......that's it? I'm so moving to the land down under. And I bet Koalas are chick magnets too. Oh I see win-win.

How to tell if a man is interested? That's easy and done in a two step process.

Step one: Pay attention, has the man looked at you more than twice in the last minute?

Step two: Answer the question "Is he still breathing?"


If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then he is interested and probably flirting with you. Believe it or not, men are really that simple.

Now how to figure out if a woman is flirting with a man - that requires a slide rule, a discussion panel, and a Cray super-computer, bet even then, you still might be wrong.

I found a list, I don't think any of the signs by themself mean anything but certainly if there are three or more,,,


1.looks you in the eye
2.finds any excuse to talk to you
3.Perks up when he sees you
4. Stays close to you
5. Touches you
6. Stumbles over himself
7. Lets his friends go on without him(BIG SIGN)
8. Asks about you
9..Becomes chatty( actually listens and responds to what you say with follow up questions and comments)

10. leans in close when he speaks