my ex gf broke up with me back in 2011. Her reason was, b/c I had to leave to a different State to save up money. She did not want me to go, but I had to. When I got back to my home State she did not want to get back together. It hurts b/c we talk on a regular basis. We have talked for four years now and it seems like we will never get back together. I just do not know how to get her off my mind when I try to meet new women to date. I know I have to move on, but it is rough! I want to stop talking to her all together, I just do not know how to get her off my mind. Only girls that want to date me are to young, and I cannot find a good woman with a head on her shoulders. It is so hard to focus in school, and any activity I take serious. It is just mind blowing how a girl got my mind like this. Any advice on how to get a ex that you love off your mind? I try working out 24/7, constantly study, and many other things. Nothing works.:(

It looks as if you have been obsessed, that is you love her but she rejects you. I think you should talk to her, she might have loved you as well but at the same time she suffers from her pride. Talk till things are clear. You are a man and you should not be ruled by a woman, take the power and do what you should do.

I have had many of friends say that I am obsessed too. It is good to keep hearing that. It just hurts to fail at something you gave your 100% at. Everything I put my all into I accomplished in life. I just cannot put into words how I feel.I just have to accept my loss, because I have so much to accomplish. I just have to find a way how not to think about her so much. Ty for the script Angei.

Forget about it and move on? This is just life and stop living in the past, or you'll ruin your future?

The way to solve any such problem is the same.

The first thing to realize is that you are trying to clean out your own internal mental wallpaper and fantasy future from inside your own head. You aren't trying to get rid of HER. She's already gone.

What lots of us do when we are in love with someone, is that without even noticing it, we construct an entire future life for ourselves, in tremendous detail. After we lose them for whatever reason, we still have that entire future all around us and in front of us.

The way out of the pain and the confusion, is to realize you've done this to yourself, and work little by little on actively taking the fantasy future apart, and start building a new version of your future which is NOT based on the other person.

Start with the easiest things: paint your bedroom a new color. Rearrange the furniture. Get rid of or at least put into hidden storage, every sentimental thing you have which is connected to her.

Then begin replacing the future plans one at a time.

None of this requires you to discard your real affection for the other person. In fact, if you like, you can do all of it as a way of showing that you do care for them, enough to work so that they don't have a tragic mess with their name written all over it, dragging in the world behind them.

" It is just mind blowing how a girl got my mind like this"

She doesn't have your mind. Never did. You left. Things changed. She adapted. Now you must.

You won't be able to" find a girl with a good head on her shoulders", until your's is on straight. Please seek professional help & good luck.

Just join the military. Then you will be too preoccupied to think about any ex-girlfriend.

she friend zoned you a long time ago darling

now you wanna put yourself thru this? sit back and watch all guys she dates while asking why not me?
you have had your time together

you are holding on to the past baby
to some image you have built up in your mind
got this girl on pedastool

and it's holding you back from trying with someone new
you got yourself convinced no one can measure up which is horse crap

perhaps it is really the fear of trying it again with someone new
" if I couldnt make it work with her, and it hurt when we split..man I dont know if I can take going thru this kind of crap again "

Edited, kindly do not target other posters but rather the topic.

soufie
Site Moderator

Get yourself an inflatable friend. Very low maintenance and they don't talk while the game is on.

If I was your girlfriend and you left the state because you couldn't afford to live there I would break up with you to. I would feel you didn't love me enough to stay with me. I would continue talking with you but I wouldn't go out with you because I would feel you would up and leave me for any small excuse. You made the choice to leave. You need to stand by it and leave her alone. She made the right decision. Now you need to move on.
this is just my own opinion.

Before anything the first thing I would attempt is to stop the whole:

...Stop doing that.
Cut the strings.

Come back in a year and tell us how that went.

2011...now.. 2015...WOW....
. clear the sidewalks folks...lol..jk

... dude.. I think you need to grow up a bigger pair.... seriously no offense but... pining over a girl for 4 years..
.. live and learn and move on...
.. the grass is greener on the other side.... but you first must jump over the fence...oui....

Easy: STOP CONTACTING HER. Out of sight, out of mind. This is also stated in many relationship help articles. As long as she continues to stay in your life, she will torment your heart and your thoughts. A breakup is like death. You go through a mourning period and then you move on. If she continues to stay in your life, you cannot mourn the breakup properly and she will haunt you. That is why it has taken you so many years to move on. You won't allow your heart to heal from the pain. You keep re-opening the wounds every time you talk to her and she stays in your heart and mind.

save your breath...already de-acted....

Yeah but the deactivation is sometimes temporary. Then they come back. And it's a good topic for the rest of us to learn from.

true that...

yeah well I don't buy the story.. at all. leaving the state to save money??.. I don't buy that bro... there is a lot more to this " story" then you are saying

but that is just my opinion ;)

Did anyone mention a wild week in Vegas yet?

no but Vegas would eat him up and spit him out..lol... think of all the show girls...noooo...... there'd be nothing left but his bones out in the desert...lol