I take it most everyone knows it is important to have something going in life for yourself, outside of a partner and/or relationship. So your own friends, hobbies etc.

I'm wondering,
- do you have a life of your own, things you love to do & friends AND
- will you keep doing those things or do you tend to drop them as soon as you've found a partner?
.
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Wow, what a great topic/question! ...

I have all sorts of things that remain the same in or out of a relationship...I write, I garden, I read, I devote a portion of everyday to fitness, I have a deep friendship with my gal pal and her family...She is raising her two grandchildren and she is very good about sharing them with me...I still advocate for the elderly and I am the primary caregiver for my 91 year old mama...My daughter and her family live 500 miles away so I try to visit a couple of times a year....No, I don't change much in the way of giving up the things or the people I love, but I do try to include or draw him into as much of my life as he wants to share and I like it when he does the same; shares his life with me.....

The constant in my life would be my involvement in the temple I go to for my prayers and meditation.....for the past 20 years now. It was also the reason I retained my sanity through the turmoil, the ups and downs that life throws in my path.

(((Leigh)))

Sounds like you've learnt the importance of having and keeping your own thing in life :)

I know many ppl tend to neglect their friends and hobbies as soon as they've found love. I used to do that as well, but life has taught me that I need my own things. I need my own space in order to feel good. Like you I write, garden, read, I got my own forum, 2 blogs, I paint and of course spiritual stuff and energy work.

I also know you got to comprise here and there when you get a partner, which regularly raises the question in me "How much am I willing to compromise?"
To be honest, I'm not exactly sure .. hope that if I do find someone, it will sort of work itself out.

Which raises another issue:
I'd need a partner who has his own thing as well, so he doesn't get bored or starts nagging when I'm busy doing my thing.
--> friend of mine has a hubby who doesn't have any hobbies whatsoever. He was suddenly home the last two weeks due to a broken rib. Both not at ease cos he didn't have anything to do, so he was in her hair all day long.
A partner like that would drive me up the wall!

Why do I? Maybe there is a change but not easily drop all the things that makes my life completly happy. He has his on life too before we meet. I know that he feels the same. Understanding each other is needed

I still see my mates when i can, but having a kid that's not even 2 months old yet, means that him and my missus comes first. My mates understand this as most of them are fathers themselves, but we meet up for a catch-up and a few beers when we can.Still play football and do boxing, but not as often as i used to do.

How much I am willing to compromise is more often than not dictated by his reaction to how I spend my time..If the things I love to do are interfering with his happiness or sense of security, I know it's time for me to re-evaluate and/or re-allocate my time...

I think what your friend is experiencing is normal...I hear this all the time from women when their husbands retire...Some men find they have no life outside of working and providing for their family...I say BE PATIENT and THANKFUL for this type of man ladies!!...Give him time to adjust and give him a little extra attention while letting him know your days will not be devoted to keeping him entertained...In time he will develop his own interests...It's all good....

Im pretty boring and have no life now, it will be the same with someone, but at least we could just sit and stare at each other all day. :P

Me and my missus can't stare at each other for 30 seconds without one of us cracking a joke, or a one-liner. How could you keep that up all day without saying something???

no i don't tend to give up on everything else. and i wouldn't expecther to either. but the time spent doing them sure changes

When my grandmother was about 99, she pulled me aside and told me
to never invest fully in one's mate.

"If he dies early, as mine did, you have nothing left of your own
to fall back on."

I recall vividly asking her about it.

She said, "Your grandfather was the sort who wanted all my attention, all the time, so, to feel needed, I gave it to him.
Then he died..

I had no friends of my own, we had always lived near his
family. Suddenly I was all alone."

I think about this often.
You are right Crystal, one always needs something of one's own.

Why would my partner in crime cause me to give up my ...

Oh wait. You are referring to another kind of partner.

Cat snacking habit?

(((Soufie)))

Well my friends will have to go. If I find a partner. Unless one of my friends becomes my partner.